Alcoholism and Holiday Celebrations

I applaud the effort you are making to stay sober, @nanners012910. It has been a long road for you. Your advice, "not to go to a function if you’re not in a good place with your sobriety" is a good one. Are your relationships improving as you continue in your sobriety?

Hello to all in our Addiction and Recovery group,

One of our Mayo Connect mentors, @retiredteacher, began a discussion about how the holidays are not happy for everyone. Here is the link to this discussion,

Please join this discussion and share your thoughts as well!

Thinking of some of you who talked about the challenges (or not) of the presence of alcohol at holiday celebrations and wondering how things went. I know in my family alcohol is almost always present at holidays (wine, craft beer, and some family members drink bourbon), and it would be a different scenario were I trying to not drink any.

@trainwreck54 - just wanted to check in and see how things went over the holidays this year with alcohol being present at celebrations? Is it still working okay for you to just say "no thank you"?

@nanners012910 - how did it go for you over the holidays? Did you find the not drinking difficult this year?

@olivia22819 - how were your holidays this year?

Hey!!! And thank you for thinking of me. Holidays were very different this year, (didn’t not spend hardly any money) but overall fine! Had some time off work, spent time with family and ate really well. I was very ready for the new year for some new things to happen and some positive changes 😀 how about yours??

Hi, @olivia22819 - sounds like your holidays were refreshing. My family's were good and also different in that it was the first time ever our immediate family was by ourselves on Christmas day. We have always been with other relatives before, which has also been nice. It was special this year, though, to just be with the four of us and plan exactly what we wanted to do.

I especially noted the part where you said you were "ready for the new year for some new things to happen and some positive changes." What sorts of new things will be happening for you and positive changes will be coming in 2020?

hi Lisa sorry for the delay, haven't been feeling too good. For one i'm hoping to feel better from suffering from these migraines. I am also looking foreward to the weather change and about to start the process of simple living. Purging all those items including clothes and misc items that we don't use. Need some clarity really bad : )

Hi, @olivia22819 - good to hear from you. The migraines sound awful. You might be interested to check out this Connect discussion on migraines, if you've not already https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/chronic-migraine-relief-suggestions/.

The simple living: interested to hear more about it. Are you mainly giving up some material items, or moving to a tiny house or a community where this is practiced? Are you following a book or something you read online, or was this more self-prompted?

Hello to All in the Addiction/Recovery Group and Happy 4th of July!

As we enter the picnic, barbeque season, I know that many of us associate this time of the year with the drinking of alcoholic beverages. For many people, this does not reflect a serious problem. But for those who have dealt with addiction and might be in recovery, it can be the time for setbacks. I recently received an email from Harvard Medical School entitled 11 Ways to Curb Your Drinking.

I've copied some of the key strategies from this article:

If your doctor suggests that you curb your drinking, the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) suggests that the following steps may be helpful:

1. Put it in writing. Making a list of the reasons to curtail your drinking — such as feeling healthier, sleeping better, or improving your relationships — can motivate you.

2. Set a drinking goal. Set a limit on how much you will drink. You should keep your drinking below the recommended guidelines: no more than one standard drink per day for women and for men ages 65 and older, and no more than two standard drinks per day for men under 65. These limits may be too high for people who have certain medical conditions or for some older adults. Your doctor can help you determine what's right for you.

3. Keep a diary of your drinking. For three to four weeks, keep track of every time you have a drink. Include information about what and how much you drank as well as where you were. Compare this to your goal. If you're having trouble sticking to your goal, discuss it with your doctor or another health professional.

4. Don't keep alcohol in your house. Having no alcohol at home can help limit your drinking.

5. Drink slowly. Sip your drink. Drink soda, water, or juice after having an alcoholic beverage. Never drink on an empty stomach.

6. Choose alcohol-free days. Decide not to drink a day or two each week. You may want to abstain for a week or a month to see how you feel physically and emotionally without alcohol in your life. Taking a break from alcohol can be a good way to start drinking less.

7. Watch for peer pressure. Practice ways to say no politely. You do not have to drink just because others are, and you shouldn't feel obligated to accept every drink you're offered. Stay away from people who encourage you to drink.
Keep busy. Take a walk, play sports, go out to eat, or catch a movie. When you're at home, pick up a new hobby or revisit an old one. Painting, board games, playing a musical instrument, woodworking — these and other activities are great alternatives to drinking.

8. Ask for support. Cutting down on your drinking may not always be easy. Let friends and family members know that you need their support. Your doctor, counselor, or therapist may also be able to offer help.

9. Guard against temptation. Steer clear of people and places that make you want to drink. If you associate drinking with certain events, such as holidays or vacations, develop a plan for managing them in advance. Monitor your feelings. When you're worried, lonely, or angry, you may be tempted to reach for a drink. Try to cultivate new, healthy ways to cope with stress.

10. Be persistent. Most people who successfully cut down or stop drinking altogether do so only after several attempts. You'll probably have setbacks, but don't let them keep you from reaching your long-term goal. There's really no final endpoint, as the process usually requires ongoing effort.

Some of these strategies — such as watching for peer pressure, keeping busy, asking for support, being aware of temptation, and being persistent — can also be helpful for people who want to give up alcohol completely.

Once you've cut back on your drinking (so you're at or below the recommended guidelines), examine your drinking habits regularly to see if you're maintaining this level of drinking. Some people attain their goal only to find that old habits crop up again later. If this happens, consult your doctor.

For those of you who have posted in this discussion (@mothergoose76 @stsopoci @savana1 @notaround @sandij @thankful @johnhans @christinelouise
@zeph317 @johnwhitfield @hisgrace6992 @jimk849), have any of these strategies been helpful to you? If so, which were the most helpful to you?

Hello!

As we approach the end of the year holidays the cheer that is represented by decorations and parties can often be overridden by stress and worry. Unrealistic expectations can heighten stress during this time of the year. If you are prone to addictions this can be a time of temptation.

This is a good time to practice what has helped in the past to deal with addictive behavior. What techniques have you previously used to avoid falling into the addiction cycle during times of stress and especially during the holidays? How can you best take care of yourself and stay healthy?

Good topic, this is always a stressful time.

Few things I try to remember and do:

1. Have realistic expectations. Forget about Hallmark movies and Norman Rockwell pictures, that is not realty. I always expect too much, thinking people will appreciate all I do, and then am disappointed when they do not.

2. If going to someone else's house, have an exit plan. If environment is not healthy because of family drama or too much alcohol, make sure you have ability to leave. That might mean driving yourself, so can arrive late and leave early.

3. Bring your own beverage so have an alternative to alcohol.

4, Have a support system on speed dial. Have someone you can call / talk to if need to.

5, Limit holiday get togethers to those that are safe environment for you.

6. If attend support group (AA / NA) maybe go to extra meetings. Talk about your concerns with others who are in similar situations.

Laurie