Advice for those with PD who also wear hearing aids

MAVEN OF MISTAKES

Good Morning (at least it is in Berlin 9 am). This is your Maven of Mistakes, Grandma JatonLouise, waking up to share some information about her mistakes so that you needn't make them yourself, freeing you up to make other, perhaps more entertaining ones.

1. Of course, you all know this one: Learn from your mistakes. This is imperative.
2. Learning from your mistakes does NOT mean REPEATING THEM EXACTLY. Yet, it is surprisingly common that some folks do this.
3. While it is essential to learn from your own mistakes, it's far better to learn from the mistakes of others, which is the occasion of today's lesson. So here is my mistake of the day.

If you don't have PD and are not deaf, you don't need to know this immediately but put it away for when you do need it. If you can remember where you put it.

DO NOT TRY TO PUT YOUR HEARING AIDES IN YOUR EARS WHILE STANDING UP, MOST PARTICULARLY WHEN IT'S EARLY IN THE MORNING AND YOUR BRAIN HASN'T FULLY ENGAGED YET BECAUSE:

• The little buggers are small, and can be wiggly (especially when you have the kind where the battery is connected to the hearing aide rather than the kind that's an all-in-one deal).
• They may go flying across the room if Mr. Parkinson makes his presence known, unexpectedly, as he always does, because he's a tad devilish and loves nothing better than watching a half deaf, half blind generously proportioned octogenarian crawling around on her arthritic hands and knees trying to find those tiny buggers, who after spending a long night in what resembles a coffin (they're too dumb to realize it's more like a feeding station) and they are locked, loaded, and ready to seek out the least likely place to hide from the human who has paid for them and who depends on them. (Did I say they're also selfish little snots?)
• AND, be extra careful if you have pets, such as a cat who confuses ear wax with catnip and just goes bat-excrement nuts at the prospect of getting the Grandpa's ear wax. (Grandma's ear wax is undoubtedly inferior and less fragrant than Grandpa's, but in a pinch, she will consider it, look it over, sniff some more, maybe give it that tentative touch, but it never passes her test, so she them walks away, perhaps tilting her head in a manner to clearly express her opinion that this object isn't worthy of sharing the planet with her, much less this tiny living room.. She gives the object of her scorn that tentative touch but regrets it and blows her nose and vigorously shakes her head to rid herself ot the stench of Grandma's unbelievably inferior ear wax (but not before giving it one last whack, which sends it under the sofa, where her most Beloved PaPa must retrieve it. She feels a tiny amount of regret for making things harder on her favorite human, but such is the lot of the devoted servant such as he.)
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