4 decades on meth can I really stop using is there hope?

I’ve spent most of my life struggling with one form of addiction or another, alcohol, cocaine and prescription drugs

I’ve been clean and sober for ten years and no longer have the urge to use.

Everyone’s biology is different and what has worked for me may not help you, but here it is.

First I had to accept that something was broken before I started using.

I used drugs and alcohol to mask my pain and avoid my feelings.

My biology was changed by my substance abuse.

I needed help badly mental and physical.

If I did not change I would continue to hurt people. People used to warn me that I would die if I didn’t stop. They didn’t understand that I welcomed death, Not hurting the people I love became my motivation.

I had to start taking care of myself. I stopped eating crap and started exercising, both very hard at first. However, it’s tough to get high and eat right and exercise. Anytime I spent taking care of myself was time I didn’t feed the beast.

I had to accept that getting clean and for me, addressing my trauma was to be the fight of my life. I had to adopt a Warrior mindset.

I had to believe it would get better and that the pain would not last forever.

And perhaps most importantly I had lost everything a human can lose, except my life and I was going to take that away on my own.

I was given the gift of desperation.

Today the fight to be a better man is the purpose of my life. It is my reason for being.

There is nothing I can do for my ex-wife, my children and increasingly humanity as a whole if I don’t take of my soul first.

You have taken an incredible step reaching out, keep going. Don’t stop ever! If you fall down get back up and keep fighting.

Don’t beat yourself up. You are sick no different than if you had cancer.

If you can’t fight for yourself, what will you fight for. It doesn’t matter what it is right now.

Just fight!

I wish you the peace you deserve. Never forget you are loved.

I'm 33 years clean and never thought I'd get even a day. It gets so much better trust and believe that, Never lose hope and a month is a massive huge accomplishment ,so give yourself a lot of credit but also recognize that you have used for a whole lot more months than you have been clean time takes time and beyond physical addiction there is the lifestyle and thinking and friendships and everything about our lives that has been so wrapped up in using so it is perfectly normal to think about it, it is going to take time for new behaviors to be comfortable and a new way of life takes time and practice to create especially as those of us who started young didn't get a chance to learn who we are and what we are really about, the thing is you don't have to USE today or ever again, just breathe through it, pick up the phone& call a clean friend go to a meeting or watch speakers on you tube ,I like a channel called Odomtology they have a range of recovery speakers I suggest listening to Danny Trejo ! I got clean in rehab and NA & AA were/are foundational to my recovery (I suggest you get a NA Basic Text and read it) but I have added many other things along the way like Dialectical Behavior Therapy and EMDR for ptsd and much more, I'm NOT religious but learned young that I can take what works for me from anything and now there are so many more approaches to recovery and groups out there that there is truly a "bolt for every type of nut" .You can do this despite what the committee from hell that sounds like is going nonstop in your head says, and remember you are never alone! Congrats on every minute you get clean and much love & light going forward, Be kind to yourself

Hi i am 58 and clean for 5 months. I can do it and i hope u can too
I drank and smoked with the best of them. I was dx with a genetic heart disease 5 months ago and that scared me to death so i quit everything. It seemed impossible the first couple months but then things got easier with time. My biggest thing was boredom cause i didnt know what to do with all my spate time. It does and did get betr. Good luck to u

That really touched my heart and soul. Thank you! Just thank you!

Thank you! I am just blown away by the support I have received here. I struggle everyday but there is something different this time I'm not sure what it is or why it is it just is. I want it to work this time for me. I need people to pray for me because thats what my heart is telling me I need. I'm desperate I'm so desperate to get well. I just want to be well, balanced and focused on my recovery. Thank you again 💓

Increasingly the only way I seem to be able to make any sense of my selfish life is to share my story with others.

I am so sorry. All I can suggest is that you learn habits that will stop your thoughts of returning to using meth. Willpower and motivation are really not helpful. Coping with any of these behaviors that are not good for us (overeating, lack of exercise, etc) depends on habits and other methods of avoidance. The more ingrained those scafolding behaviors are, the better chance you have. I hope that the new life you build gives you peace.

Thank you! You hit the nail on the head . My behaviors are reflecting my recovery, my actions. I am overeating not exercising or doing anything to promote my well-being, however you pointing these types of behaviors out makes me look at what I'm doing a little closer and than change it thats the hard part.