I wonder if anyone can help on this as I've tried all that I think I can.
My mother (now 56), was in a 7yr relationship with a man of a different nationaility. He said at the start that his parents may arrange a marriage for him, but he thought he was now too old for this (he was 48), plus - he loved my Mum and wanted to be with her.
7years later, he's studying at university but the relationship is still strong, until one day he rings and says "I am getting married, we are over, please never contact me again".
My Mum is stunned, he refuses to answer questions.
A week later, he calls, except it transpires he is calling from his wedding reception (!), again, saying the relationship is over. He then turns nasty, and amongst other things, wishes my Mum dead.
As you can imagine, when a relationship ends suddenly and with no warning or real explanation, you are hit with all kinds of emotion - my Mum was (is) the same. She lurched from anger, to stunned, grief, anger, etc.
The relationship ended in April 2011 - and my Mum is still no better emotionally. She used to be fun, now being with her is an emotional drain and I *hate* myself for saying that, I really do.
She still cries about this man, she's very bitter, she wishes for him to hate his new life - she hates his new wife even though this poor woman was oblivious of my Mum so in essence, she is innocent.
I've tried being gentle with her, I've been understanding but as time has gone on I feel she is harming herself more by remaining bitter, so I've been slightly more harsh with her "Dwelling on him will burn you up inside, achieve nothing and could prevent you meeting the perfect person as they see you day in day out, with an angry scowl on your face", that kind of thing.
The sad thing is she says she knows I'm right.
She's had counselling which helped a little, but I feel she's just turning things over and over all the time.
I feel that 11months is now ample time to be angry and upset and now she should be moving on - but she can't. This anger is now no longer directed just at the man who hurt her, woe betide someone accidentally bumping into her - they get a stream of, well, you can imagine! She was never ever like this before but now she's angry at the world.
I apologise for this being such a long first post but would appreciate any advice that can be offered.
My Mum is not a religious person, so suggestions to turn to her faith, whilst appreciated and kind, would not be of use to her (sorry if that offends, it really isn't meant to).
Thank you so much in advance for any extra advice you can help on this. x