Hi - sorry for late reply, was away for few days.

That's sad to hear your daughter has said that to you, if she won't speak to you or see you, maybe write to her - but obviously keep the letter neutral, simply saying how much you miss seeing your grandchildren or you saw something in a shop perfect for them, can you bring it round? That might be the way to slowly get your daughter to open up again to you.

I'm reluctant to give my Mum too much space, simply for the stupid fear that "What if she does something silly?". She lives alone (widowed), and she never used to drink, but when I was round there on the last few occassions, lets say she now has a pretty extensive spirits cabinet, most bottles half full. She doesn't drive so that's one scenario (drink driving) that doesn't concern me, I just don't want her to be sat at home 'drowning her sorrows'.

I don't know - It was pretty hard being a teenage daughter with a strict Mum, it's now like our roles are reversed and it's no easier with me being the grown-up!

Its amazing how loved one's suffer when someone's in pain. It sounds like she is directing her anger at her x to you. It is hurtful but the best thing you can do is let her know you will always love her and then step back. Hopefully, she will come around and you can re-establish your relationship.
Sometimes people just need time to sort out their feelings. It must be painful and I'm sorry you're going through this. My mom is my best friend but lives in another state. Your daughter does not know how lucky she is.
Hang in there.
Rox