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1yr since she had her heart shattered, she can't let go.
Just Want to Talk | Last Active: Mar 20, 2012 | Replies (9)Comment receiving replies
Hello,
Matters of the heart can be so difficult. You may think 11 months is enough time to get over a heart ache but everyone's different. He could have been the love of her life or made her feel alive. I think the way he did things was devastating because there was no closure for your mom.
My parents divorced when I was 19 and I'm in my forties and I'll be honest my dad never got over it. To him marriage was for life.
How about finding mom new activities? Are there any social clubs where you live? Or, would she be interested in meeting someone knew like a dating site?
You sound like you love your mom very much but you need a break to live your own life.
That had to be traumatic almost like a death to her. I can't imagine being with someone for almost a decade and one day he's gone but then gets married. That's a blow to a persons self esteem.
All I can say is let mom know you will always love her, she did not do anything wrong, give her some suggestions that could occupy her time and at the same time meet people and then back off.
You can't be doing more than mom. Mom needs to, eventually, when ready come to terms with what happened and learn how to live and love again but time frames are unrealistic when it comes down to love.
kindly,
Rox
Replies to "Hello, Matters of the heart can be so difficult. You may think 11 months is enough..."
I too lost the love of my life. I left him, a house and dogs behind. At the time I thought I was doing the best thing, deep down, I still think it was best as he was 15 years my senior and was so grouchy and moody.
He truly loved me and I thought the grass would be greener with someone new.
What a mistake that was! I spent 7 years with a sociopath and pathological liar.
A valuable lesson but I have a little solace in that my one true love will always be my friend and although we will not get back together we will always care for each other.
The heart and mind are so influential when it comes to love. I think activities will help your mum. I also think that telling her she did nothing wrong and that she lost her love due to cultural obligations and beliefs might help her understand that he perhaps loved her but could not go against his customs.
It's a very sad story and I hope that time and activities will help your mum heal and be able to enjoy life and love again.
Make sure you're also being good to yourself because caring for our loved one's can be stressful.
Take care
Rox
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Hi.
True, I know we are all different in that respect - some of us can take such a blow, dust ourselves down and be fine in a few months, yet others much longer.
It's just a concern that after almost a year she doesn't seem to be making any headway on emotions...yes, this man was the love of her life, she admitted she thought they would "marry and grow old together" and I think she keeps dwelling on that thought and as she lives alone, it's just going round and round in her head.
You must've read my mind on the activities and baking away part, I know she'd never go somewhere new alone so I was going to be looking into some kind of evening class (that would appeal to both sexes), that I would attend for a few lessons until she'd met a few people there and then I'd silently slip into the background.
I did consider dating sites but it would have to be a strong man who would be able to see the wonderful person my Mum is through all her heartache right now, so I think the evening classes would be a good move to boost her up.
Thank you, I'm going to start looking into classes - I'll even subject my un co-ordinated dangerous self to dance classes if needs be!