15+ yrs chronic insomnia. Surely there is someone somewhere to help?

I’ve never posted on a discussion and I try not to read the bc I find I feel worse. But this seems like the most safe group.
Quick stats - 45 year old active mom of 4, put on meds at 29 when pregnant with my 2nd child. Never before experienced a night of insomnia, no past depression or anxiety but I stopped sleeping at the end of this pregnancy and it turned into this monster that has plagued my life.

Currently, after struggling to get even 1-2 hours of sleep off and on my dr told me to take clonazepam every night last year (.5-1) at 10:30/11 and then right before sleep take ambien 10. Honestly this never worked consistently so i end up playing with the meds at night… cutting in half, taking some at first, some an hour later. I rarely ever take more than prescribed (often not enough bc feeling drugged but awake is my worst nightmare) . Doctor added in Xanax prn this year during travel and some health situations and slowly that became a 3rd drug in the mix.
Mynquality have life had plummeted (thank God my faith has remained and I have a supporting husband and tenderkids) but no one has an option for me now.
Currently I am tapering clonazepam very slowly (.25 now) and my dr says to think of that as a vitamin as it is ineffective. The ambien seemed to lose efficacy years ago but because it feels “safe” to me (no weird habits or grogginess) I throw it in the mix many nights whether up front or usually after a few hours awake. The Xanax has become more standard once I’m
Not asleep (sometime between 12-3). With this erratic behavior some nights I’ll find 4-5 hours, about once every 2 weeks I’ll sleep 8 hours usually after 2 nights fully awake but the kicker - 2-3 nights a week insta awake the whole night even on these meds.
I’ve done CBT may times, I’ve done all of the things for the sleep environment (I look crazy at night with earplugs, white noise, sleep mask, humidifier, lavender spray, medicines everywhere… etc). I’ve tried over 20 meds at least one night but if they don’t work and make me feel worse than my 3 “safe” drugs I don’t try them again

I know there is not one fix. I know this will be yet an even longer road. But I really believe there is someone out there that can see this from a bigger view who is knowledgeable about meds and sleep who can quarterback my situation and give me hope to get my quality of life back. We can’t plan, can’t travel and my whole family operates if I slept or not.

Also, I was on lexapro for about 5 years in there and it was only marginally better (still taking clonazepam and ambien 12-18 nights a month AND I couldn’t feel anything I weaned myself off over a year).

I’ve had a clear sleep study, tested hormones, done all blood work. It’s the medicines to me…. Sometimes helpful (or I just sleep on my own but attribute it to drugs), sometimes harmful… causing more anxiety taking them, or ineffective fully and I ata awake the entire night often 2-3 nights in a row.

Lastly, I embraced the teaching of Daniel Erichsen and the the coach school a few years ago and while I want to believe his thoughts… insomnia is solved by facing telling yourself there is nothing to fear (ACT theory mostly) but I wonder if anyone in my position has ever been able to fully embrace this - also with 4 growing children watching.

I called a rehab center last month , they won’t take me… nothing to rehab they say. I looked into taper clinic - 30-60k which we would do if that was the andwer. I’ve done every therapy known

If you’re still here…. You’re strong! And you know what I am talking about.

The question ….. surely there is someone somewhere to help me even slowly get my life back. I fear continuing like this. But I’ve become so cynical after trying so much a being lead down this path by prescribing doctors.