How to maintain feeling respected, worthy and needed?

I don't have dementia, but what gives me the sense of being "respected, worthy, and needed" is:
+ Being asked what I want to do, not told -- and having my preferences accepted.
+ Being consulted on areas of my specialty/expertise. (I did earn a living for decades, ya know.)
+ Being asked to help out, even in small ways. (Being physically disabled, my help is limited.)
+ Being told outright that I am still important and wanted.

I'm not sure anybody, young or old, demented or not, gets enough of this.

@ cuyler - I agree one hundred percent, Scott. There are many organizations that offer group activities for dementia patients. I imagine your neurologist or his nurse has information concerning these groups in your area.

Or you can pass on information to your family and friends about what your partner needs!

Yes, there are many activities available. The challenge is finding the one that holds interest to the dementia person.

With a dementia patient, it's not about interest as much as memory. The person might forget or see something else and then switch his/her mind again. Taking care of a dementia patient is the most difficult job in the world, I think! You are trying to help someone whose brain is diseased.

What I did with my husband was I ordered books that had activities. And I tried to them with him.

What is your objective? There is also "daycare" for dementia patients. You can contact your hospital or rehab center for suggestions or even google dementia daycare for your area.

I'm not sure if you want her/him to have more stimulation or if you need more information on what to do. If you google dementia check out what organizations.

I am pursuing music therapy now
because my wife was a music ed. major.

@cuyler- This seems like a good step if the therapist is familiar with Dementia.

My husband loved music and taught himself to play the alto sax. But he couldn't purse his lips to play, and he became very frustrated.

It sounds like you are very sensitive to her!

Merry

@cuyler, great topic. I'm tagging fellow members like @tsc @bill2001 @teacher502 @centre @larryh123 @jen26 @maryvc @larryg333 @dianaol @tunared to add their thoughts to the comments you've already received.

You may also appreciate this:
- Memory and Music Therapy https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/living-with-mild-cognitive-impairment-mci/newsfeed-post/memory-and-music-therapy/

I always read the Sunday NYTimes Obituaries (only the ones w the pictures;) I just read the obit of Naomi Feil and learned she wrote The Validation Breakthrough. I ordered the book used on Amazon. A lot to read but helpful.
Also my husband has a speech therapist who comes to the house and works on brain games and cognition.
I really work on making him feel valued and respected. Sometimes I slip, but the intention is there.
Hope this is helpful 🙂

I think each person is a distinct personality with particular interests. I share with my wife those things that she did in her former employment as well as things happening locally because she was appointed by the Mayor to the development commission.

This is a tough one because my husband has become a flight risk and wants to just wander. I have to keep the doors locked from the inside and hide all the keys to our house, cars, storage house, etc. This makes him feel like he is in a prison. He even told a friend, "I am in jail now." I also feel like I am confined as well, so I understand what he is implying, but for him to stay at home, there is no other option. This is not easy, but to survive I have to find ways to make him feel important and needed. I try to look for small things to point out to him that are helpful throughout the day such as when he helps with dishes or runs the vacuum- even if it is something I have to do again - I let him know that I can't do this without him. If he changes clothes 5 x a day (he has lost so much weight that he sometimes puts on my t-shirts or jeans ) I still tell him how amazing he looks. I call people and ask them to call him with questions about the yard, or flying, or money, or faith, and he feels good that he can help someone even though he usually has no idea what he just talked about. We have a helper 4 days a week and they go out to eat, ride to the airport, run errands, etc. Hubby has been told that we are helping "Mike" and that makes him happy to see him. When we get in bed I make sure to tell him how wonderful our day has been, thank him for his help, and that I look forward to another great day (many days are not truly great..in fact some are nightmares but I try to end on a positive note).
It is not easy to be a caregiver of someone with Lewy Body Dementia/ Parkinsonism/ and possibly alzheimers...but it must be much tougher to be the person living with this diagnosis. Finding ways to encourage, uplift, and inspire are difficult but can be done with just a little bit of creativity and TONS of patience! Good luck and may God bless and inspire you.