Depression help

Posted by dorma @dorma, Dec 14, 2023

My system will not tolerate anti-depressants, and I NEED them. Just wondering if anyone knows how I can help myself...? I get weepy and sad way too often; just feel empty inside.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

That makes me so sad for you! You are so right about our health care system; It does NOT work! It is getting worse every day. After 4-5 specialists, and 3 PCP doctors, I am ready to give up. But...I am 80 now, and I have a wonderfully patient and kind husband. I feel very blessed; especially since my "depression" is mostly when I am having really tough days with several health/physical issues, so it could be MUCH worse. I wish you a better quality of life going forward.

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@dfb

I have been depressed most of my life. I am now sixty and fighting to reclaim my life from an extensive cocktail of ineffective psychiatric medications and just about every treatment modality modern mental health care has to offer.

My negligence and the arrogance of many so called providers stripped me of everyone and everything that ever mattered to me. I've posted a lot about my recent journey if you care to know details.

At this point in my life I know few things with any certainty; maybe they might offer you some comfort.

I do not want to ever hurt anyone again.
Modern pharmaceutical mental health care has nothing to offer me, fifteen years of experimenting on me is enough.
Proper nutrition, exercise and good sleep are the only treatments that have ever helped me. They also have the benefit of no side effects.
Grief and sadness are not depression. My only path to peace is through them.
If I do not deal with my trauma it will deal with me.
Everything I believe today may turn out to be wrong tomorrow.
I want peace in my life.
I miss my family.

It took sixty years for me to learn what I know today. I hope these lessons will help me make better use of what time I have left.

I wish peace for everyone who suffers. It increasingly seems to me that is everyone.

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To @dfb, I love the things you know with certainty! Very wise. And I agree, I think it seems that everyone is suffering today in this new world of ours!
P

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@dorma

I have not; thought about it, but my doctor said they needed more research about actually helping. I might ask again, since that was 2 years ago. Thanks!

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Ask again. CBD can help anxiety along with other supportive measures.
Doctors are slow to say a positive towards CBD. Many are not believers.
It’s worth a try.

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@pasca

Agree I think needs more research and CBD is not regulated do you don't try know ingredients or levels of what u r taking.

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This info is very untrue.
My husband was referred by a certified doctor. Got the state card. Went to a certified directory and was interviewed by a certified medical marijana pharmacist. Specific CBD at a specific level was given to start and follow-ups were encouraged.
It’s helped him well.

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@mysue1955

This info is very untrue.
My husband was referred by a certified doctor. Got the state card. Went to a certified directory and was interviewed by a certified medical marijana pharmacist. Specific CBD at a specific level was given to start and follow-ups were encouraged.
It’s helped him well.

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I am glad you husband is getting what he needs.
As to my post
#1 I was giving my opinion on needed more research.
#2 Only a few states have licensed Dr/pharmacists
#3 There no overall fda regulations. There are some products that have been researched and actual ingredients and levels in the product are known. Those are most likely what a professional would direct a patient to take.
Again, I am glad your area provides to what is needed.

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My point is people can know what they’re taking unless you just walk into an unknown shop.
Dispensaries are different.
States do their own research probably better than the FDA.
Who is notorious for dragging their feet. I guess to help their big pharma friends. Hope you get the help you and all of us deserve.

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@jimhd

I tried 6 or more meds before I found the one that worked for me, and years later my psychiatrist added a second one to augment it when I was slowly becoming more depressed. Therapists have made a huge difference in my mental health. Some better than others, of course. I have had 2 psychiatric service dogs, who are also a key part of my support system. Having a supportive wife has been life saving. There are lots of things that contribute to our mental health, things that are useful to different people. The support here on Connect can be really helpful, as it has been for me. It's good to know we aren't alone.

Jim

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I am the mother of a 43 year old son with Depression. It was first evident in adolescence and he had some therapy but it didn’t become serious until he was in his 30s. He spent a month in Sierra Tucson’s Mood Disorder program after a major episode six years ago. I now reside with him and his ex-wife and seven year old son. We chose to live “together” despite their (amicable) divorce in a two unit home (so we have our private spaces) for economic reasons as well as their desire to co-parent their child and benefit from a multigenerational household. My son is in a masters degree program due to his desire to change careers but hasn’t been gainfully employed for a few years so I basically support him financially. He is on Lexapro and sees a therapist every week. Due to his unemployment he is on Medi-Cal (CA’s Medicaid) so is limited to in network providers. He says that his very infrequent moments of feeling okay just do not last and he’s then back in a slump again in the form of not wanting to get out of bed, feeling nothing will ever change or get better, feeling that nothing he has tried has helped, etc. His psychiatric nurse just upped his Lexapro to 15 mg. She is a fairly new practitioner (due to our move across country) and it’s a fairly new med for him - previously he was on other antidepressants and on Lithium (but he isn’t bipolar.)
You mentioned a supportive wife. I am wondering what she has done that helps you since there doesn’t appear to be much that I can do to help him. I’ve gone to therapy myself and come away with the acknowledgment that this is his battle, not mine and that I cannot fix it. He says he feels bad for me since he knows I’m trying to help to no avail and he often apologizes for being the way he is. I have some training as a psychologist and I genuinely believe in the parity between mental illness and physical illness. I spent five years caring for my late husband during his losing battle with cancer and I feel as if I’m in the same scenario - trying to help and support a person with a potentially terminal illness. As you said, different things help different people but it is frustrating - for him and for me - to having limited success.

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@marlenec

I am the mother of a 43 year old son with Depression. It was first evident in adolescence and he had some therapy but it didn’t become serious until he was in his 30s. He spent a month in Sierra Tucson’s Mood Disorder program after a major episode six years ago. I now reside with him and his ex-wife and seven year old son. We chose to live “together” despite their (amicable) divorce in a two unit home (so we have our private spaces) for economic reasons as well as their desire to co-parent their child and benefit from a multigenerational household. My son is in a masters degree program due to his desire to change careers but hasn’t been gainfully employed for a few years so I basically support him financially. He is on Lexapro and sees a therapist every week. Due to his unemployment he is on Medi-Cal (CA’s Medicaid) so is limited to in network providers. He says that his very infrequent moments of feeling okay just do not last and he’s then back in a slump again in the form of not wanting to get out of bed, feeling nothing will ever change or get better, feeling that nothing he has tried has helped, etc. His psychiatric nurse just upped his Lexapro to 15 mg. She is a fairly new practitioner (due to our move across country) and it’s a fairly new med for him - previously he was on other antidepressants and on Lithium (but he isn’t bipolar.)
You mentioned a supportive wife. I am wondering what she has done that helps you since there doesn’t appear to be much that I can do to help him. I’ve gone to therapy myself and come away with the acknowledgment that this is his battle, not mine and that I cannot fix it. He says he feels bad for me since he knows I’m trying to help to no avail and he often apologizes for being the way he is. I have some training as a psychologist and I genuinely believe in the parity between mental illness and physical illness. I spent five years caring for my late husband during his losing battle with cancer and I feel as if I’m in the same scenario - trying to help and support a person with a potentially terminal illness. As you said, different things help different people but it is frustrating - for him and for me - to having limited success.

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After I was taking Wellbutrin for a number of years, I felt like I was going down again, and my psychiatric NP added Mirtazapine. That helped me level out. Later I started taking Duloxetine - Cymbalta - for peripheral neuropathy, and though it didn't do much for neuropathy pain, I was motivated to do things that had been on my list for years. As you know, combining medications often has a good effect.

My wife does have trouble understanding why I continue therapy after 16 years. She has said in the past that I should be over it (whatever "it" is) by now and would like it if I would try going off some meds. But she hasn't said anything like that for awhile. I've told her when things she's said are unhelpful, and she's good about paying attention to that. I wonder what your son would suggest if you asked him how you can best support him, or what you might do or not do. You've probably had that conversation.

I have a psychiatric service dog who is also a member of my support team. She's very attentive to my mood and will nudge me to let her help me. My service dogs have been significant contributors to my mental well-being. Sadie is always with me, even right now as I lie in the ER, having a bunch of tests done. She's been beside me today for 9 hours, lying on her blanket next to my bed. She probably would stay here all night, but my wife and I are beyond ready to go home.

It sounds as though my depression is better controlled than your son's. Did Lithium help him? As I said, an add-on such as Abilify could be what he needs right now. Also, I've heard people say that an antidepressant has become ineffective after a while, and they have changed to a different medication.

I hope that his down times don't interfere with his getting a degree.

Jim

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@jimhd

After I was taking Wellbutrin for a number of years, I felt like I was going down again, and my psychiatric NP added Mirtazapine. That helped me level out. Later I started taking Duloxetine - Cymbalta - for peripheral neuropathy, and though it didn't do much for neuropathy pain, I was motivated to do things that had been on my list for years. As you know, combining medications often has a good effect.

My wife does have trouble understanding why I continue therapy after 16 years. She has said in the past that I should be over it (whatever "it" is) by now and would like it if I would try going off some meds. But she hasn't said anything like that for awhile. I've told her when things she's said are unhelpful, and she's good about paying attention to that. I wonder what your son would suggest if you asked him how you can best support him, or what you might do or not do. You've probably had that conversation.

I have a psychiatric service dog who is also a member of my support team. She's very attentive to my mood and will nudge me to let her help me. My service dogs have been significant contributors to my mental well-being. Sadie is always with me, even right now as I lie in the ER, having a bunch of tests done. She's been beside me today for 9 hours, lying on her blanket next to my bed. She probably would stay here all night, but my wife and I are beyond ready to go home.

It sounds as though my depression is better controlled than your son's. Did Lithium help him? As I said, an add-on such as Abilify could be what he needs right now. Also, I've heard people say that an antidepressant has become ineffective after a while, and they have changed to a different medication.

I hope that his down times don't interfere with his getting a degree.

Jim

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Thanks for your reply. He also takes Wellbutrin which he had taken previously in combination with Cymbalta and Lithium. My understanding is that Lithium was prescribed due to his irritability. And it did help but I think, as you noted, at some point things stopped being effective and,
along with our move across country and the need to secure new medical insurance and practitioners, he self-weaned off meds and there was a gap in his therapy. He’s back on schedule, as I said, and he’s basically functional but struggling. I have asked him what I can do to help but he really doesn’t have any answers - I get a lot of “I don’t know” as well as “nothing seems to help.” So it’s that attitude that concerns me because it sounds so despondent and hopeless - and yet on the flip side he continues to do his course work including going to an internship placement, continues to volunteer with some community organizations of interest. It’s as if he just isn’t meeting his expectations of how he wants to feel, if that makes sense.

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