How do you respond to offers of help?

I can kind of relate. I’ve had one person help by moving my bins down my driveway (5 metres) to the kerb because of the slope..I’m on permanent crutches with nerve damage and peripheral neuropathy so it’s something I can’t do. They moved away so I now argued with local council saying the inspector who drives around doling out ‘do this and don’t do that’ letters can do something nice while there out bothering the neighbourhood like a wasp looking for a place to start a nest, like move my bins on bin day, considering my taxes pay them 🤭
It’s working so far.
Besides that, I’ve only had those people who grin in decidedly uncomfortable ways while quietly saying with an air of forced politeness an ingenuous offer of help - very generic, nothing specific - to placate themselves for their own discomfort when succumbing to social conformity in offering help.
Otherwise (besides the bins, which I showed much appreciation with several home baked meals and treats each week in return), I’ve never actually had anyone offer genuine practical help, ever.
Mostly - if it’s not those awkward social conformities - people say you don’t look like you need any help, or, you’re always doing so much for everyone else so someone like you wouldn’t need any help, or you’re built like a man (I take that to reference my statuesque height) so you’ll be right to do it on your own…etc. I mean, try cleaning your house, sweeping your yard, cooking and carrying a meal or a drink, doing your laundry, bed sheet changes, carrying groceries, etc, on crutches..permanently..and then open doors for others, move out the way for people staring at their phone and dawdling into you on the street, sidestepping people walking out onto the street without any caution..yep, I’m good thanks - I got this. You just keep on your merry way and I’ll keep a look out as I always do 🤦🏻‍♀️
I think if I ever had someone help me I’d fall over in a complete cardiac arrest, die and end up trying to explain what just happened at the pearly gates, while being asked but what could’ve you done for them before you dropped off the perch and rolled up here on your noisy crutches that squeak worse than the last time we couldn’t find the oil can for these giant gold yard ornaments? 😁
(By the way, I have full respect for God - I do believe He has a sense of humour, and I’m made in His image 😉).

Hi samclembeau,

I have one of those "invisible" diseases. I finally got an official diagnosis 11 years ago, so this has been a long experience for me. I will never "recover" fully. This disease doesn't work that way. I have some ok times and some really bad times.

I'm ok with food, but it all falls on my husband, all the time.

Here's one example of what I have experienced. I asked my sister to help me sort my medical paperwork. She has experience in this area. She said yes 3 times and canceled 3 times. She is semi-retired and has complete control of her schedule.

I try not to focus on this topic too much, so I'll write no more now.

It was kind of you to offer your perspective and suggestions! Thank you!

This message is for colleen Young.
I am trying to find a previous post I made concerning Breast screening: Mammos, ultrasounds and MRI information. I would like to post a follow-up.
Thank you for your help
Colleen P

I was thinking about you saying “ but I have no where to go “. Do you like sports? I enjoy watching local sports teams play. High school sports are always fun to see, especially basketball games. Or just visit a park to watch children play.

Very true. When I had free time during work trips to Europe (in the before times), I used to prefer parking myself in a sidewalk café and watching people go by over taking an "ABC" (Another Bloody Cathedral) tour.

There's always something to do. It's more about finding energy to go out on the bad days, as everyone here will understand.

@collenp -- In case Colleen Young doesn't see this (I don't know whether she's able to keep up with all threads), I'm posting a link to all of your comments, so you can scan them and (hopefully) find the one you're looking for.

I did this by clicking on your user name, which took me to your profile page, and then clicking on COMMENTS (in the left margin). To the best of my knowledge, all users can do this for any user; it's helpful if one wants to read posts by some of the more-knowledgeable users on this site.
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/member/00-a39d5c15a8208aea265985/activity/comments/
PS: Is this is?
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/event/breast-cancer-support-group-43/?pg=1#comment-954269

I am not questioning the value of this topic as it is very important to some. However, it is not relevant to me at this time. I tried twice to unfollow unsuccessfully. I have been able to when other random threads appear . Why do I still receive it?

Apologies if you've already done the following, but in case you haven't:

Click on https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/other/

You'll see a big blue box with "Just Want to Talk Support Group" and slightly below it an oval button with the word "Following." Click on the button. You'll get a ?dialog box? asking whether you're sure you want to unfollow this group. Click "OK."

That should do it.

ETA: If that doesn't work, then perhaps contact a moderator:
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/contact-a-community-moderator/

Oh my gosh.....none texted or e-mailed you back? Those are the easiest thing in the world to do! It doesn't matter HOW far they live from you.....a text, an e-mail.....what is simpler? Were these people friends before the stroke happened? All I can say is, if someone is a REAL friend, they will get back to you in a way that is easiest for YOU. I could NEVER just ignore something like that. There is no excuse. I really hope that you are doing better! Thanks for listening....LOL it is after 2:00 a.m., time for a bath!! Take care now and please stay as well as you can.

Thank you.

In fairness, I did hear from some people, just not very many. I spent a lot of lonely hours in those hospitals. Since I could barely sleep, I was awake most of the night with no one to communicate with. It would have been nice to have emails to write.

But that was long ago, nearly five years. Although my life stopped when I had a stroke, it didn't end. I'm moving in new directions now. I've been interviewed by a national organization and been a guest speaker at a couple of events. I'm creating my own videos about my recovery. https://www.youtube.com/@srlucado/videos
I have made new friends and colleagues, and those old friends who did stick with me are closer than ever.

Most of all, my wife has been angelic, infinitely patient and supportive, and has never once complained.

Life is good. Not easy, but good.