Does anyone feel old and useless with age?

I can totally relate and agree. I am almost 63, but have am young at heart. Have a life long history of illnesses which have consumed my entire physical/mental being, severe abuse, distrust, deception, no friends. I'm alone now and trying to manage the household, bills, work, etc, So overwhelming! I have a son in Pittsburg and 1 sister left in AZ. They are there for me but don't fully understand. Major depression, anxiety, OCD and phobias, Feel I'm silently going out of mind. I was in a very dark place a month ago...one that I've never known before. It was very frightening. Live or Die? So I prayed to God and my mother asking them to embrace me with their strength to pull myself out of whatever that was. Still struggling but in this moment in a better place.
I recite the serenity prayer ALL THE TIME and BREATHE.
I sympathize with you. Sending virtual hugs. God Bless.
Maria

❤️❤️Heartfelt concern coming your way! I think I know of the dark place you speak of. At least, I have my dark place, and it is very scary. I, too, use the Serenity Prayer all the time. I haven't used Private Messaging, but if you would like someone to share your darkness with who understands, I would be willing to do that. Please don't harm yourself. ❤️❤️
P

@grahmilou

Thoughts with you, everyone has bad days, but do not be afraid to ask for help. Just talking to a therapist about your feeling and frustrations can help.

I would also consider finding a new doctor, if my doctor explained everything as age and was dismissive, I would be looking for someone with more empathy.

I was interviewed recently my a medical student about aging for a class assignment. I told him I miss my recently retired primary doctor because being closer to my age and having parents who are aging, he had better appreciation of issues as we aged. I am glad that Mayo Medical School is exposing new students to the issues seniors have with aging by having them interview seniors. I meet with student multi time a year on different subjects.

Laurie

The serenity prayer helps me as well. I could never harm myself because my family depends upon me and it would devastate them. But it is hard dealing with pain that is unrelenting. Only people who go through it can understand how hard it is to distract yourself and just want to do anything. Thanks for your caring.

I am a therapist. Lol. I have lots of tools. It doesn’t take away the overwhelming frustration with the pain at times. I also have a new doctor and I’m hopeful that somewhere down the road I will be in less pain. surgery coming up on 11/29

I know how frustrating that is to feel. I am only 50 but I feel that I have the same energy level as a 70 year old. I often wonder how I will be when I age more. I have chronic pain and times I feel defeated. I have a rare bone disorder since I was baby. Sometimes it is a ruff day, I hope you feel better soon. Living in Minnesota doesn't help me at times with the cold I do less.

Keeping positive is not always easy in a world filled with daily negativity. It takes effort, especially if you wake up everyday to illness. After reading Tuesdays with Morrie, I was inspired to live, to do all the things I wanted to do, but were inhibited by career, raising children correctly, and an overpowering religion. We tend to identify ourselves based on our culture and environment. Socrates encouraged us to "Know thyself". We all have strengths and weaknesses that relate to our purpose. Now, as I am in the "autumn of my life" I focus on leaving this world without regrets and imparting the knowledge I have taken in to those who will come after me. Look at all the wonderful and helpful things we learned that children today are not learning, making it quite easy for them to be replaced by AI. Can you help them to gain knowledge that is beneficial and wisdom? Can they not learn what to do or not to do by our own experiences or global events? Can you teach them to imagine peace and find ways to promote it? My dear, our years make us necessary to the next generations.

Just yesterday, I was asked to fill in for the guest speaker at the stroke support group I belong to.

Though I had no time to prepare, I gave an abbreviated version of the talk I had given to TCU grad students last month:

It showed me that even after a disabling stroke, I am still able to help others with encouragement and even a completely new way to view their recovery journey.

Maybe this my swan song; maybe I'll only be able to reach a few people. But I feel called to do what I can.

There is no glory in aging, healthy or not healthy. No question, illness makes it worse. I wish I could make your condition go away.
It’s interesting to me that you mentioned what your life might be like when you are 70. Against many odds, I am now 70. I will tell you what my life is like now, but first a bit about the road traveled.
At 38 I was pregnant with my first child. During the 7th month I had a seizure and my son was delivered emergency C-section.
12 days later I had a nephrectomy and a large tumor removed which was attached to my kidney, having exhibited no symptoms other than causing occasional high blood pressure.
My son never left the NICU, and after 63 days he died in my arms. I love this child with all of my heart.
He was incredibly strong until he was not. We are not meant to outlive our children. I never expected my husband (I am no longer married) to blame me for our son’s death. I never regretted having that tiny baby. Nobody said life would be fair.
Time went on as time does. One healthy child and a few surgeries later life took another tough turn. In 2014 I was diagnosed with CLL. I was 61 and my daughter was 21. Although I never wanted to get chemotherapy, she still needed me. Horrible experience.
When it was over, I had a blown out thyroid and had gained 25 pounds. They put a fat drug in the party bag, although I told my oncologist not to do so.
Since chemotherapy I sustained a leg injury requiring three surgeries, screws and titanium to repair the damage. Many people with similar injuries are not able to walk. I can walk, swim, sail, ride my bike and ski.
Did I mention that I was raised in New England ? New England women are tough nuts to crack.
More recently I was driving a sports car on an interstate roadway in the mountains. I was hit by wind sheer and blown off of the road, twisted 180 degrees bounced on the back end of the car three times and landed 50’ behind where I began, headed in the opposite direction.
With 12 broken ribs, a broken clavicle, left lung punctured and two head bleeds I was found by the state police. Six days in a coma, two lung surgeries and five weeks in the hospital it is against all odds that I have survived any of these events.
My life at 70 is peaceful. I’m not 100% but I’m alive and able to respond to your post with this: we are all put on this earth for a reason. When we have fulfilled our purpose we are set free. You do not know how many lives you have helped simply by being alive.
Clearly you do not have an easy go of things. Think about all of the amazing people and places you might never have seen if you were not here now or at 70 or older. I’m grateful every time I go skiing and feel graceful. When I sail the power of the unseen wind and silence all around reminds me that life is fragile and care must be taken at all times. I’m not nearly as athletic as I once was, but I still try. I won’t stop until my body gives up.
Quite frankly, I believe it is this attitude that has kept me on the green side of the grass. Statistics would have buried me quite some time ago.
BTW, I also have days of extreme pain, days when it’s difficult to breathe and times when I stay on the ‘healing couch’ for a week or more at a time. It’s just a rest stop on the highway of life.
Maybe this word vomit was helpful, maybe entertaining.
Please know it comes from my heart.
Today is a couch day.
Back to my knitting.

What a razzle dazzle of life lived and Being lived. It reminded me of what a prof at Toronto Univ in his book, Body Fascism had said of our lamentable attitude toward movement, when I reached your, "I won’t stop until my body gives up." I was reminded, “The impetus to move … comes not from the infinity of what the body is … but from the finitude of what it is not.…” (p.219) .

Yes, my 80 y.o. frame gets its bid from this wisdom of the body, as I take steps over escalators, standing over sitting in public trains and buses often eating as if life is a buffet.