1. < Caregivers

I know it's a progression but sometimes,

Posted by DanL @tunared, Nov 4, 2023

I just feel like banging my head against a wall. Our journey started when my wife had to quit work 12 years ago. I know, I should be thankful I've had her all these years but it is getting tough. I removed the gas stove because it got too dangerous (smelling gas, food burning). Today I was working in the yard and she came out to help me (which was real nice) but then I smelt something burning and she forgot to tell me she was cooking eggs (on the electric stove). Everything on the stove kinda exploded. our puppy was hiding in corner and the whole house smelt like a fire occurred. I've been doing all the cooking but my beautiful wife feels bad and tries to cook sometimes (like today). Sometimes I just don't know what to do. taking our puppy for a long walk in the woods helps a lot. Sorry for taking your time, I have no one else to tell about this journey. Thanks for listening.

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Teri | @tsc | Nov 7, 2023
In reply to @wmehan "Been thinking of getting a puppy but am afraid I would just be adding more work..." + (show)
@wmehan

Been thinking of getting a puppy but am afraid I would just be adding more work for me but I think of those long walks. My husband can’t walk very far and is always looking for me when I am not at arms length. I am able to talk to one of my sons who understands his father’s situation. Do you have anyone you can talk to?

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Hi @wmehan, one of my friends just got a puppy for her loneliness, after her two old dogs died, and now all she does is complain about how much work the puppy is. She's in her late 70s and on her own, not a caregiver to anyone but herself and the puppy.

My husband, with his Alzheimer's, is very attached to a neighborhood/stray dog. We walk to feed her and pet her most days. She's taken a real shine to my husband, but won't leave her safe place under a dilapidated house. I've been feeding her for about six years now. She has trust issues.

At this stage, I can leave my husband for a few hours. He gets anxious if he can't find me when I'm home.

If your heart is set on a dog, a mature (healthy) dog would be less demanding than a puppy, or maybe you could sign up for dog walking with your local shelter, or volunteer to walk a neighbor's dog if you can get away for a walk.

Would a scooter, walker or wheelchair benefit your husband? Maybe then he could join you.

Good luck!

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1 reply
wmehan | @wmehan | Nov 7, 2023
In reply to @tsc "Hi @wmehan, one of my friends just got a puppy for her loneliness, after her two..." + (show)
@tsc

Hi @wmehan, one of my friends just got a puppy for her loneliness, after her two old dogs died, and now all she does is complain about how much work the puppy is. She's in her late 70s and on her own, not a caregiver to anyone but herself and the puppy.

My husband, with his Alzheimer's, is very attached to a neighborhood/stray dog. We walk to feed her and pet her most days. She's taken a real shine to my husband, but won't leave her safe place under a dilapidated house. I've been feeding her for about six years now. She has trust issues.

At this stage, I can leave my husband for a few hours. He gets anxious if he can't find me when I'm home.

If your heart is set on a dog, a mature (healthy) dog would be less demanding than a puppy, or maybe you could sign up for dog walking with your local shelter, or volunteer to walk a neighbor's dog if you can get away for a walk.

Would a scooter, walker or wheelchair benefit your husband? Maybe then he could join you.

Good luck!

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He is very independent. Thought about a walker chair but he refused. Great suggestion about walking dogs at the shelter. Thank for listening

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lena0825 | @lena0825 | Nov 8, 2023
In reply to @teacher502 "Sometimes I just can't keep my eyes on my sweet hubby 24/7 like I need to,..." + (show)
@teacher502

Sometimes I just can't keep my eyes on my sweet hubby 24/7 like I need to, and things like this happen. We aren't "real" superheroes- just ordinary people that are becoming more and more overwhelmed.....and yet love is a strong enough power to keep us motivated to do the best we can each and everyday - and then try again the next day. Some nights can be very long and some days can be exhausting. but I am right where I want to be and like you, I am extremely grateful for this group! Wish I could hug everyone.

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What I feel couldn't have been expressed more clearly & succinctly than this. Love keeps me motivated as well. I keep telling my LO that this is what I signed up for when we married. And yes doing the best we can is all we can do & it means everything to our LOs even if they can't express it. I too am right where I want to be, walking beside my husband through this horrible journey. A journey which is more horrible for him as the Lewy Body sufferer, than me as his caregiver. I too am extremely grateful for this group! Hugs to all!

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dollyme | @dollyme | Nov 8, 2023

You are very dedicated people. I could not do what you are doing. I realized when my husband was dying, I was not a caregiver. I tried but failed miserably.

My stepmother has Front Temporal dementia, I didn't even attempt to be her on site caregiver. First she was placed in AL, then moved to MC, where she has been for 3 years. Of course, my brother & I visit her often and keep up with everything relating to her. She no longer recognizes us which is sad but expected.

I admire each and everyone of you, don't forget to take care of you!

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