Does anyone feel old and useless with age?

Posted by sally12345 @sally12345, Sep 13, 2023

Hi, I'm almost 64.. I'm feeling old and useless. My strength isn't good anymore. Like it used to be mainly side effects of meds. My health is poor with cvsd. Osteoporosis, poor circulation, hearing , eyesight, you name it's going. I always took care of myself. Now I've gotten older and everything's wrong, my grandkids don't a want me around and they are little still. No friends to talk with or do things with. Why is it we spend our lifetime taking care of family. Loving friends to end up , old and tired. Useless.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

@sally12345

Men always want us to stay the same , like when we were young. I was married at 16 married for 38 yrs. Never heard a thank you or I'm sorry. Nothing...these men don't appreciate us. Until it's too late. That is a topic I could go on about.....but we aren't 16 or 25 or 40..we have children and we age. And our health fails because we took such relentless care of others.

Jump to this post

So here's the deal: Since you seem to have lived for others (a maxim I used to believe when I was 16) how about putting Yourself FIRST. After all, if not You, who will live the life You want to have and lived?
And believe me, it will relieve much your stress. NOT bcz you re being selfish, on the contrary. When we do things for others that they need to learn-to-do we Deprive them of the pleasure that comes from achieving by Yourself.
We only get one shot at living, let's live the way that helps maximize joy of living -- by letting others achive their aspirations, making life more colorful.

So Promise yourself by starting the simple achievable pleasures of tasty healthy foods to Playful vigorous activities And at least one Mentally challenging exercise. I do wordle game in New york times that renews at midnight each day, Some logic, vacubularry and sheer pleasure for 15 minutes.
Promise?

REPLY
@sisyphus

So here's the deal: Since you seem to have lived for others (a maxim I used to believe when I was 16) how about putting Yourself FIRST. After all, if not You, who will live the life You want to have and lived?
And believe me, it will relieve much your stress. NOT bcz you re being selfish, on the contrary. When we do things for others that they need to learn-to-do we Deprive them of the pleasure that comes from achieving by Yourself.
We only get one shot at living, let's live the way that helps maximize joy of living -- by letting others achive their aspirations, making life more colorful.

So Promise yourself by starting the simple achievable pleasures of tasty healthy foods to Playful vigorous activities And at least one Mentally challenging exercise. I do wordle game in New york times that renews at midnight each day, Some logic, vacubularry and sheer pleasure for 15 minutes.
Promise?

Jump to this post

I believe my generation and others before did live for other people , our husband's ,children, carrying to parents. It was our lives , it's very hard to focus now on ourselves, who never did. It was purpose and I said previously. Now as I've aged my parents are gone my adult children's to speak of money when they do converse to borrow it. It's .maybe what has made today's generational self deserving.

REPLY

I’m relatively young and feel old and useless too. I’m so lonely. I can’t work. I’ve no friends or family here except a spouse who’s gone most of the time working. I need a friend or I’m going to go crazy. I pray to God to stop the loneliness and sadness but I don’t feel anything.

REPLY

I am old. I am 89. But I do not feel useless.

REPLY
@ljeva1968

I’m relatively young and feel old and useless too. I’m so lonely. I can’t work. I’ve no friends or family here except a spouse who’s gone most of the time working. I need a friend or I’m going to go crazy. I pray to God to stop the loneliness and sadness but I don’t feel anything.

Jump to this post

Other may have suggested this, but look for a church community.

Focus on faith. Churches need all the help they can get. "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few."

Everyone can contribute, even in the smallest of ways, and the effort will be rewarded many times over.

Depression is a heavy weight, I know. It presses down on the soul. I've found the best way for me to deal with it is to do something positive, however minute.

On this forum, for example, there are probably many who could benefit from your experience with various treatments, positive or otherwise. I bet they'd appreciate the benefit of your contributions.

REPLY

Re: Sally 12345, "Does anyone feel old and useless."
Hi Sally, I'm 64 and know exactly what you're going thru. I got laid off at 55 and haven't been able to find a full or part time permanent job since. (Who hires old white guys these days?) I also suffer from depression and anxiety. I thank God for my wife. We weren't able to have kids like all our cousins and friends (I feel lonely too). I get sick of hearing about how much people love their super wonderful incredible, spectacular etc , grandkids. Anyway, I know how you feel. Always remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE! 😀

REPLY
@dougkeon

Re: Sally 12345, "Does anyone feel old and useless."
Hi Sally, I'm 64 and know exactly what you're going thru. I got laid off at 55 and haven't been able to find a full or part time permanent job since. (Who hires old white guys these days?) I also suffer from depression and anxiety. I thank God for my wife. We weren't able to have kids like all our cousins and friends (I feel lonely too). I get sick of hearing about how much people love their super wonderful incredible, spectacular etc , grandkids. Anyway, I know how you feel. Always remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE! 😀

Jump to this post

Hi DougKeon,
My husband and I get tired of hearing about how wonderful everyone's grandkids are too! Mostly they are poorly behaved little brats! We have children from two different marriages; (Ours is the second marriage for us both.) However, none of the children or grandchildren talk to us anymore and haven't for years. We all have our different problems.

I'm sorry you couldn't find a job. It's probably your age. I ran into that too at age 40. Have you thought about offering to take people to their doctor appointments? Elderly people would really appreciate this kind of service. Especially those who are alone. Taxi's are very expensive and the buses aren't safe anymore. (At least, the buses aren't safe in Washington State where I live. They let them smoke Fentanyl on them!)

Good luck!
PML

REPLY
@pml

Hi DougKeon,
My husband and I get tired of hearing about how wonderful everyone's grandkids are too! Mostly they are poorly behaved little brats! We have children from two different marriages; (Ours is the second marriage for us both.) However, none of the children or grandchildren talk to us anymore and haven't for years. We all have our different problems.

I'm sorry you couldn't find a job. It's probably your age. I ran into that too at age 40. Have you thought about offering to take people to their doctor appointments? Elderly people would really appreciate this kind of service. Especially those who are alone. Taxi's are very expensive and the buses aren't safe anymore. (At least, the buses aren't safe in Washington State where I live. They let them smoke Fentanyl on them!)

Good luck!
PML

Jump to this post

I agree with you. The recession of 2008 found me without being in my profession as a Librarian. All the resumes in transition were in limbo due to the recession. As a librarian, you usually go from one position to another so without being in one, my career ended abruptly at forty-nine. Being in the South, from the North, over-educated more than many encountered on the other side of the desk, I could not find a typing or receptionist at the minimum with a Master's Degree. Add-in is not what you know, but who you know and let's just say that early retirement and some very lean years left me stranded in a place not my home as I came to it via an employment position. I substitute taught for a while until doing so resulted in my being stolen from, slapped, (by students) and finally someone damaged my vehicle ( a fellow substitute who did not leave even a note) while substituting for one school. I ended up having to live in affordable housing until I could get back on my feet. I never found another position in my profession or otherwise. Now, in my 60s, I find that even with all the ills of age, I am living my best life now. No regrets. Things do happen for a reason. So, there are so many new ways to earn a living as a result of the pandemic. I see plenty of people picking up food from McDonald's to high-end restaurants, Door Dash, Walmart, and other grocery stores offer jobs in delivering if one has a vehicle and maybe it can be written off on taxes. These new sources of income may depend more on your availability and vehicle than gray strands and wrinkles. If one wants to be employed there may not be the old excuses handy. It just takes thinking outside the box and the determination of those who are old enough to know that no or not now may just mean finding, waiting, and being persistent in the search to become employed.

REPLY
@dougkeon

Re: Sally 12345, "Does anyone feel old and useless."
Hi Sally, I'm 64 and know exactly what you're going thru. I got laid off at 55 and haven't been able to find a full or part time permanent job since. (Who hires old white guys these days?) I also suffer from depression and anxiety. I thank God for my wife. We weren't able to have kids like all our cousins and friends (I feel lonely too). I get sick of hearing about how much people love their super wonderful incredible, spectacular etc , grandkids. Anyway, I know how you feel. Always remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE! 😀

Jump to this post

Doug, where do you live? It seems incongruous that you have not been able to find a job at 55. Where I live, you would be snatched up and "forced" to work way more hours than you want! The company I worked for pretty much went out of business three years ago. I was 62. I actually had people calling me and asking if I wanted to work for them. I was able to pick and choose. I ended up working (still there) as an instructor for a day program for adults with mental and physical disabilities. I haven't had time to suffer from anything but TB -- tired butt from running it off! So the answer to the question, "who hired old white guys these days?" is ... just about everyone. No, you may not find the exact same job you had in your prime or earn the same money, but you will find an outlet that will send depression and anxiety out the window.

REPLY
@paul65

Doug, where do you live? It seems incongruous that you have not been able to find a job at 55. Where I live, you would be snatched up and "forced" to work way more hours than you want! The company I worked for pretty much went out of business three years ago. I was 62. I actually had people calling me and asking if I wanted to work for them. I was able to pick and choose. I ended up working (still there) as an instructor for a day program for adults with mental and physical disabilities. I haven't had time to suffer from anything but TB -- tired butt from running it off! So the answer to the question, "who hired old white guys these days?" is ... just about everyone. No, you may not find the exact same job you had in your prime or earn the same money, but you will find an outlet that will send depression and anxiety out the window.

Jump to this post

I agree and was wondering the same thing. Everyone has help needed signs where I’m at. A job would be great. Meet new people and keep you and your mind busy

REPLY
Please sign in or register to post a reply.