Does anyone feel old and useless with age?

I'm 60 as well. My children have ghosted me for no reason. I work out to keep my brain in place. I do need medication for being bipolar. I went to jail for being manic and everything you wrote relates to my life. Thank you for sharing

Hi, I have a s on that the dr believes is bipolar. His life has been going downhill for a long time. I try to talk to him but get no where but anger. Could you possibly share with what you experience when your manic with me. To help me to understand better.

None of us are bipolar, we have bipolar disorder. If we are something we can never heal from it. I am a sixty year old biological male, I can't not change that.

If I have something I can change it.

I have a hard time being around people because I feel their feelings, especially the ones they are trying not to feel. The more self contained someone is the easier and more enjoyable it is to be with them.

I believe that many people with mental health disorders have a greater degree of empathy, perhaps as a result of their own trauma, that can make it hard to be around others.

For me it is most difficult with my family, for a variety of reasons.

Mania can express itself in different ways. I believe it is best described as energetic destruction. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder because I was fatigued and down while still accomplishing a great number of productive activities, I did not fit the mold.

Turns out I was and am just a very high functioning individual that had crappy self care habits. I worked too much, slept little (by choice) ate garbage and didn't exercise.

I do not believe that the first order of treatment for a suspected mental health disorder should be medication. Unless it is an emergency, an individual should first look at their diet, they amount they move and how much they sleep. Stress reduction is also criticl, but easier to accomplish when the first three are in order.

Changing ones lifestyle is a simple thing to do but very hard to accomplish.

Medications took everything from me except what life I have left. From that I have begun again. Better to not have not gone down that road to begin with.

As for concrete advice have your son meet with at least three other doctors but if he is stable enough see a dietitician first. I believe that the mental health care system has it wrong and increasingly so do the physicians who are at the forefront of healing.

When I thought about it what we eat, the environment we in live and what we do all day has the greatest impact on every area of our overall health. Why would mental health be any different.

This is my experience over decades of searching for answers and watching my life crumbly in front of my eyes, powerless to stop it. In three an a half months I have my life back.

I hope your son, and you, find peace and a path that leads you to joy.

Very revealing and I hope you can find peace and serenity very soon. Group support may help. My daughter has been given many dx’s of true clinical depression of varying degrees since a young child. She blames us now that she is in her early 50s for her mental predicaments and has cut us off.
We - my husband of 56 yrs- have had an unusually stressful life and marriage with family members including the loss of our youngest daughter in a car accident and a fire that burned our entire pre war apartment building including our apartment of 37 yrs to its foundation in 2019. We are trying to adapt at our ages in our mid 70s but at times my Lyme disease and my husband’s chronic heart disease has limits! I’m reaching out to an approved Lyme disease specialist for psychiatric help now. It’s not easy here in Florida. I miss my old routine outside and north of Manhattan in our beautiful village horribly. Good luck. My father used to say- getting older ain’t for sissies!!!!!

No kidding. I’m only sixty and I feel it already,

I hope you find peace.

While I can't help with the feeling old part, after having a stroke I felt not only useless but helpless.

After regaining some basic abilities, I began to think in terms of what I *could* do.

For example, I used to do professional narration. The stroke affected my speech for a while, but now I sound okay (if not great). Here's a sample of work I've done in the past (3 minutes):

It gives me something to do, and helps her out a lot. Not earth-shattering, but better than nothing.

Is there some ability that you have that someone else needs?

I am so sorry you are going through all this! Please don't let your daughter cause you to blame yourself for any of her psychological problems. I have always said, to many people, there comes a time in a young adult's life that they must stop blaming their parents and take responsibility for their own problems. I was raised in a completely dysfunctional family, full of stress and lacking in any joy. I was molested as a child. My first suicide attempt was at age 15. Yes, I blamed my parents for the home I grew up in. But, there came a time that I realized I must take responsibility for my reactions to that dysfunction, that continuing to blame my parents did nothing to help me progress in my life with happiness, with joy. As I became an adult and faced my own stresses, traumas, abusive treatment, my eyes were opened to the realities of Life and how it effects the home life. Of a family of four siblings, three of my siblings were alcoholics and two of those were drug addicts. My sister abandoned her small children in her alcoholism. And, my parents were blaming themselves for all of it. I could see and feel the pain. At one point, I took the opportunity to tell them "you did the best you could, with the knowledge you had, in such a stressful life, and you must stop blaming yourself. After my husband died, you took in my daughter and myself and became the best grandparents to my daughter that I could ever have hoped for. You were, through her, the best parents that I could have had, and all of that wiped out any blame, any regrets for me, so STOP!" I am so glad I took that opportunity to tell them that, to try to ease their pain, and to let them know what Life can do to you, and how it can affect your family. I knew that firsthand, by that time. They became not only great parents to me, but my best friends. They loved me completely for who I am, acknowledged every little good thing about me on a regular basis, and I miss them so. To every parent out there who is suffering pain from blaming yourself, or is experiencing estranged relationships with your children as adults [me, too!], remember, YOU DID THE BEST YOU COULD, WITH THE KNOWLEDGE YOU HAD, IN STRESSFUL AND PAINFUL TIMES. I know, from my own experience, I did not INTENTIONALLY ever do anything to hurt my daughter, to make her life more difficult. But, LIFE HAPPENS. I am certainly sorry for anything I have done or said to make her life more difficult, but will she ever really see what I was going through when I was trying to be a parent to her? It is no excuse, it is just a reality. She was my whole life after her father died, when she was just a baby, and she still is. I just, plain and simple, made some mistakes. Obviously, she wants to punish me for one of [don't have any idea which mistake], or all of those mistkes, for that for the rest of my life. She is now causing me the most pain I have ever had in my life, and I have had a lot, just like you, but I cannot change anything, and I certainly cannot ask and get any forgiveness for what I have done that makes her so angry, when she refuses to tell me the things she is so angry about. So, people tell me I need to let go, to back away from her, from the pain she inflicts. That is the hardest thing I have ever tried to do, but I am trying. But, I know in my heart that I tried very hard to be the best parent I could be, and what else could I do, if I was trying my hardest? Forgive my rambling and making this "all about ME", but I guess it touched on a very painful nerve. I stand by what I have said.
P

Please, Scott, do not underestimate the gift you are to your friend!
Imagine what a world this would be if every person, whether completely healthy or living with physical and/or mental health challenges, did one kindness or service for another person, without expecting anything in return.

I have been reading your posts since you joined us on Connect, and am awed at all you are doing to regain purpose in your life and to recover from your stroke.

Thank you,
Sue

Thank you, Sue.

It's a struggle every hour, but I remind myself that I'm a lucky guy. A loving wife, a happy and laughter-filled marriage, a debt-free situation, a peaceful home, and still in possession of my mental capacity.

I have been given much in life, so I try to give back, even in small ways. I can't build a house or even mow a lawn, but I can encourage others, or even just listen to someone who just needs someone to care. I can do at least that.

When I was hospitalized after the stroke, I was 300 miles from home and scared out of my wits. I reached out via text and email to friends and colleagues, and about half never responded at all, ever. That hurt, a lot. I try to ease that sort of isolation for others.

Thanks again for your kind comment.

I really like you, from your posts. You sound like a really nice guy with a lot of insight to offer others. I love your appreciation and gratitude for what you have. You are truly a blessed man, you know.
P