I am trying to deal with the loss of our only child.

@joraelliott there are no words. That’s what I told friends when my 45 year old daughter suddenly died. They stammered to console me with their words, but they didn’t know how. Nothing anyone said or did made the pain go away for anyone in the family. Her 3 children were spinning in disbelief.

I’m so sorry for the pain you and your husband are going through now. There are no words I can use to make it better.

My saving grace is my relationship with Jesus Christ. He is my strength and He comforts my soul. With my faith, I am able to have everything I need.
Three grandchildren lost their mother 5 years ago. I cry for them, not myself.
However, they have grown into wonderful people and their father is the very best.

The first Christmas she was gone, I bought a tall, red, candlestick holder with a fat white candle. I placed it in the middle of the dining table, and told her kids that it represented the spirit of mom. I let one light the candle, and another one extinguish it at the end of dinner. We continue the tradition every year.

Time. Give yourself all the time you need and don’t compare yourself to anyone else. He was your child, and you deserve to feel your feelings.

Blessings on you and your husband.

@joraelliott Your pain and other normal symptoms can be indescribable. Consider working with a psychology therapist and/or a spiritual director as as been suggested. I use both in addition to a grief group. We all process our losses differently. If you are interested in the science told in a compelling way, consider reading The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O'Connor published in February 2022. To get a feel for it you can download the introduction and more via Kindle. What you have done here, reaching out to others, is a good step,

My heart goes out to you and your husband. Blessings.

what a tragic loss. my sympathy and prayers.
Other people here have posted better replies. I think they have good advice.
so sorry

There is an old saying; we are supposed to lose our parents, we aren't suppose to lose a child. I can't imagine the pain and grief. The only thing close is having old dogs put down, one hurt so bad I simply couldn't take it. A child of thirty years, that I gave birth to, nursed, raised and watched grow? incomprehensible...Be careful with the marriage, the self-blame, loss, trauma, can divide even strong couples. Be and walk very, very, gentle, with your on self.

Lewis

@joraelliott, while I know this is a support group you never wanted to join, I'm glad you found us and welcome you with virtual open arms. I have moved your post to this existing discussion:
- I am trying to deal with the loss of our only child https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/i-am-trying-to-deal-with-the-loss-of-our-only-child-richard/

I did this so you can connect with other members like @dwlowrance @team4travis @rosez @georgette12 @holly56 @harriethodgson1 and more who know the pain of losing a child first hand. They can walk with you, guide you or offer a listening ear.

Jora, how are you doing today? What would you like to share about your dear momma's boy?

I'm so sorry for your loss.. reading your post just broke my heart ❤️.
I lost my only sister to cancer 3 years ago. She passed away in my parents home. My mom since then has declined quickly. I moved from Mukilteo to Wenatchee to be here for my parents. It was almost immediately that my mom showed signs of dementia. She sleeps alot and is depressed, but the dementia symptoms are heartbreaking... its been so hard on my dad and I. We do all we can to help her...my advice to you is to stay active, don't sleep alot, be social. Find a activity, try PICKLE BALL. Anything, just don't sleep your days away. My mom did, and still tries to do it. I see her just melting away. Keep your memories happy, he is with you everyday. He doesn't want to see you sad sweetheart.
Much love and hugs to you, and then a bigger hug.
God bless you.
Darlin Powell

Thank you. I've tried to stay busy. I do activities and we are planning on doing more travelling also this winter. I just feel like I'm stuck in a bad dream.

That will never go away. I cry every single time I think of my sister, hear her song, see someone who may look like her. But in time, the numbness, the bad dream will disappear to a degree. Grieve, cry, scream.. and you will slowly heal from the shock of loosing your son. The fact it was a sudden loss, in a accident, makes it even harder.
I lost my 2 aunt's, 2 uncle's, 3 cousins, and my sister...my big sister...all in a 4 year period. All I have left is my mom and dad. They are 82 and 81 now and I feel that there time is coming soon. This is the reason why I found this group. I'm scared and SCARED. I'm all that's left and I am hurting inside badly. When they are gone I don't know what I'm gonna do.......dear god...why?
But anyways, I'm sorry

I will create my post later.

I'm thinking of you.
Hugs.
Darlin