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Long Covid & Relationship Strain
Covid 11/2020. I have a lot of the symptoms, head to toe. At home I try not to say them all out loud daily because I don’t want those things to have more power in a negative way. I quit working, with my spouse’s support, about one year ago. Is anyone on disability? I do not want to be on disability even if it would be approved. At home I am about 50% productive. However, all of it has put a strain on my marriage and normal daily life. Recently my spouse actually voiced that there is disbelief that “long covid” is really my problem. I’m very concerned about separation or divorce. I don’t know if I should be taking steps to protect myself or how can I help my spouse understand chronic illness? (Yes, I do have PTSD from trauma as a child and as an adult. That is another piece.)
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For me, I actually shot myself in the foot by being on a vegan diet. When I recently modified it and added back some meat and dairy, my long covid began to improve. I've seen that there's some documentation on the web to this effect. Pretty much all I've done for months has been spending hours each day researching this stuff from every angle.
I've now been improving significantly just in the past week after beginning guanfacine and NAC. My cacosmia and brain fog are almost gone. Just to be sure I'm being clear, I've been on this combo for 1 week and 1 day.
As far as the topic at hand, unfortunately, my wife has been almost completely unsupportive and doesn't believe I have long covid, but that I am imagining it. This stuff can break up families.
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3 ReactionsI have heard of families who have split apart due to "not believing" and thus not supporting family members with long covid symptoms. Life can be very difficult for long covid sufferers. And so many are affected.
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2 Reactionsi am so thankful for my husband, i know he too is sick of all my long covid symptoms....he has been there for me all the way!!!!! bless you spouses that are doing the same, it is not all in our heads!!
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2 ReactionsI bless my spouse every day for helping me with this awful long covid, etc.
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1 ReactionI'm very sorry to hear your wife has been unsupportive. It is confusing for family members (and medical professionals!) when a person appears to be totally normal, and bloodwork comes back normal (that doesn't help at all). I had the same questions from family... Only those who have been through long haul truly understand.
I'm also truly happy your long haul is improving. It's true, when I left many of my comments I was assuming that most people are eating a standard American diet (also known as SAD). Anti-inflammatory and low histamine diets seem to help the most... but of course every person's constitution is different.
I've never tried taking guanfacine, but NAC certainly helps! For me, it was B-3 and several amino acids that did the trick. One year later and I'm still heavily supplementing to keep my energy up and mental clarity... But I'm 90% better and back to work full time. Perhaps you needed the amino acids in animal protein to give your body more support. Many people do not do well on a vegan diet, as much as they want it to morally make sense. I've had a few friends that, after a number of years, had to admit they just weren't doing well in general -- and this is without Covid. All the best to you!
Hi, I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. I was recently at a family function where my spouse's sibling, who is a doctor, voiced disbelief about long covid and POTS (both of which my mother-in-law has), and I could see how much it hurt her. I'm interested in gathering stories of how long-covid is hurting relationships. Might you be interested in messaging?
Have you simply told him you want to be held sometimes? Do not blame him for being horny. It doesn't sound like he is blaming you for having the illness. Why did you ask him about an affair when there is no mention of any reason to do so? He has been married to you for 31 years and is probably doing the best he can, and if he were even tempted to an affair, that possibility would likely go way down without the resentments you are not easily hiding (you don't like him, you don't exist, etc.).
Please give this article to your Mother in law.
https://jamiekoufman.com/heart-problems-and-long-covid/?_kx=JPREHo7DzhcII8mmyKa316zjqpH_5Dy-ORfG62QM9rU%3D.WThP46
Thank you to those who continue to post and read these threads. It is reassuring to feel less alone. As far as my marriage is going, we are going to counseling. I believe it is helping. I’ve discovered that my husband lacks the understanding of empathy but feels helpless in ways he can make me feel better. Communicating in an open, gentle way is an improvement. Sex and intimacy is certainly an issue- he needs it to feel connected and I need to feel connected before being intimate. That’s an ongoing problem. He has to turn toward me even when we are not having sex vs distancing himself so I don’t feel the concern of him having an affair. If he does have an affair then I have to remember that it would be his decision and a change in person I thought he was. I am still the kind, caring, affectionate person that continues to try and be vulnerable to have a real relationship. Thankfully this has made our connection deeper even if not sexually at this time, I have hope.