Long Covid & Relationship Strain
Covid 11/2020. I have a lot of the symptoms, head to toe. At home I try not to say them all out loud daily because I don’t want those things to have more power in a negative way. I quit working, with my spouse’s support, about one year ago. Is anyone on disability? I do not want to be on disability even if it would be approved. At home I am about 50% productive. However, all of it has put a strain on my marriage and normal daily life. Recently my spouse actually voiced that there is disbelief that “long covid” is really my problem. I’m very concerned about separation or divorce. I don’t know if I should be taking steps to protect myself or how can I help my spouse understand chronic illness? (Yes, I do have PTSD from trauma as a child and as an adult. That is another piece.)
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wow, so much for marriage vows–for better and worse in sickness and health!! hang in there, you are worth it!
I’m sorry to hear how much long Covid is affecting you! I haven’t had Covid, but I had leukemia and was disabled for two years and can share how my husband and I navigated that. First of all, my husband was with me at the hospital and came to all of my doctor’s appointments. He heard everything from the doctors and was able to ask his questions. I did apply and received disability since I was bedridden and couldn’t work for a long time. My husband and I openly discussed my disease and how it was affecting us individually and as a couple.
Do you have a doctor who can talk to your husband about your disease? I read about a few long Covid clinics being set up. That may be a good source of information and educational for both you and your husband. Another idea would be for both of you to speak to a therapist who works with patients who have chronic diseases.
Long covid (and other post viral syndromes) stink! It’s real and I believe you. Can he go with yo-yo to a doc appointment? Maybe gear for himself? Would he be willing to read articles about it? ME (also called chronic fatigue syndrome) has been doing a lot of advocacy for the long covid world. I jokingly call myself a housewife that can’t cook or clean. It’s been a huge adjustment and counseling helps. I don’t know what resources you have available but there is free help online. Sending a gentle hug.
I think I would go to a pain management doctor and see if you can have more tests to see if you have something else going on. It took me 6 months to have a diagnosis called PMR that hurt from head to toe. The blood tests showed my inflammation ESR and CRT levels were high. Sorry for your pain.
Hi, I’m so sorry to hear about your situation!
I live in Norway. Here we strongly believe in long-Covid symptoms. So much so that the state funds long-Covid rehabilitation when needed, and especially for those who have had to leave the workforce due to the illness.
Because of certain similarities to ME/cfs, both knowledge and understanding has increased in these two “non-visible” illnesses.
I have ME/cfs, and am familiar with your concerns.
Hopefully, you can manage to stay strong through the illness and the impact it has on your daily life and marriage.
-Warm hugs across the Atlantic ocean-
I feel you. My family understands, but the reality is I can’t participate in family activities, chores, etc. I feel very alone in my house. Everyone carries on with their normal life and adjust to do just fine without me. I’m just kind of like roommates with my family at this point. And i’m so sick of this all that I’m really starting to not even care.
Just wondering if you realize the key to treating long-haul Covid IS to lower inflammation in the body as much as possible? It sounds like you just got an additional diagnosis of "high inflammation", but you have not actually treated the root cause of long haul. An anti-inflammatory diet (no dairy, no sugar, lots of veggies, lean meats), as well as a low histamine diet (very specific foods–you can look this up), works wonders for long haul. It IS treatable and it is curable, though typical doctors don't have that information because they are treating symptoms one by one… Also, taking histamine blockers for a time also works well, so your body can "reset" and "recover" rather than being in an inflamed status all the time. All the best to you!
I'm so very sorry to hear this. Long haul is real and it is absolutely no joke. I'm not sure how to handle your husband but I can tell you what helps for long-haulers… There's a Facebook Long Haul Covid group with 90,000+ people around the world, sharing their stories and experiences and what actually HELPS. This is one excellent resource and many people have healed themselves completely with the information being shared.
I can tell you that proper supplementation is REALLY KEY to getting your body back into balance again. Blood work will come back normal, but there is something missing about the absorption or the body being able to use these nutrients at a cellular level (unfortunately, I don't know the exact scientific explanation for it, but most everyone has the same experience). What you should NOT do is deplete your body or over-extend in any way, including exercise, cleaning, chores etc. This may be a hard one for your family, but even ONE week of pure rest is useful. Continuing to force exercise will prolong the depletion.
You should absolutely take B-3 (niacinamide form, non-flushing, 500mg, 2-3x per day) as well as glutathione (500mg) and taurine (500mg) — both single amino acids. These 3 things alone will help you. If you have mental health issues, depression or anxiety caused from long haul, you can also take tryptophan. I have taken all of these supplements and continue to, on some limited basis, even though I cured my long-haul many months ago. I wish you ALL THE VERY BEST, truly!! (And maybe you should re-think your marriage to the guy who is not supporting you fully…)
I’ve felt the same and found a post covid therapist who has helped me tremendously along with our online post covid support group. You really have to be an advocate for yourself to get the help and guidance because when I started to be proactive is when I started to heal a little bit at a time and am able to navigate my feelings better about this annoying situation. Hope that helps and you can find some support
I understand completely! I love my husband of 31 years but don’t always like him. I put on 30+ pounds in less than 3 months. I have no sex drive & the only time that he touches me is to have sex otherwise I don’t exist. Just spent a month in MN with family as it’s only 4 hrs from Mayo instead of 10 hours from our place in Kansas. I know that he’s horny but it would be nice just to be held. Came right out and asked him if he was having an affair. I’m 63 & he’s 60. We’re empty nesters