I'm just tired. . .so tired of this everyday battle

First, good for you you[re still not giving up!
As dfb has said down a few posts -- and what I (in my 8th decade) practice daily -- that just taking care of oneself what is In Your Control: nutritious food (unfortunately too much of what we eat is Not going to give you the needed ENERGY, because it's made up Ultra Processed Food ingredients. CDC or pehaps even Mayo might have reliable info on it.

dfb also mentioned daily strenuous-according-to-YOUR level exercise, something also in Your Control. A variety of stamina, strengthening and flexiblity moves are critical to give a boost tour "tired" feeling.

Finally, you say, you do do "projects" but still do not feel good enough about yourself. I'm at a loss -- unless it's work that you don't Like or has little meaning for you. Even when I used to work for sometime because I couldn't get work in my field, I felt good-enough because I was doing what was still a work helping me stay toward my larger goal: Finding "purpose" as dfb says. This is in fact the most important factor in getting a sense of meaning and fulfillment from work.
Good luck my friend...and i hope you'll reap rewards no less than mine: no doc visits for years, no tests, no surgeries, no meds.

You are loved, and this group is here for you.

Amen and amen! Eph. 3:20

My heart goes out to you! It is a struggle everyday, but don't lose hope. Keep in touch with us please and let us know how you are doing. Much love ❤

I am so sorry you are having to deal with all this! I have suffered from depression and PTSD since I was 17, and have probably been on at least ten medications. The good news is that the tenth one worked! I now see the world in a whole new light!

Please continue to fight for your right to feel better. There are new drugs and therapies coming out right now. Have you looked into TMS? It has helped a lot of people. Other up and coming treatments include ketamine therapy snd microdosing with psilocybin (mushrooms.)

Do you have any pets? My emotional support cat has helped me tremendously.

In addition to the depression and PTSD, I struggle with some serious abdominal and digestive problems. Like you, I have lost both parents, and had to care for each of them in their final illnesses.

Keep that fighting spirit, and know that we are here to support and listen.

@silverfox1455 I'm so sorry that life has become so very difficult for you. I find that what works best for me is having two dogs who joyfully wake me every morning and prompt me to take that early morning walk and notice, as they do, every little sight, sound and smell we encounter. The other thing that has always helped me is getting out of my own head by helping others as a volunteer which I do in a number of different capacities. There is always someone worse off who needs you.

@stephcarney Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. You're right that having pets, a critter or two who are depending on you for their daily needs, can be quite a lift. Isn't it amazing how many little details you might not notice if it wasn't for them!?

I really love that we all seem to have different things that can help us along, and we freely share them with fellow members here! It gives us ideas and choices, and helps us see there are several pathways to feeling better about ourselves. Volunteering in some capacity, using our unique skillsets, is definitely a win-win situation!
Ginger

Cardinal by James Crews

Be someone’s cardinal
glimpsed between leaf-shadows,
flit of brightness so startling
they have to blink to believe their eyes.
Be the reason someone looks up
from the cracked blankness of concrete
and remembers the world
is so much larger than what’s locked
inside head and heart. Be the red
swoop from tree to tree, the thread
that stitches one uncertain
moment to the next.

You say you keep busy. I feel if you would volunteer at possibly a children home, or a women's home. You be busy plus you would feel that you are contributing to someone's welfare. Possibly an office situation if you feel you couldn't handle other situations. But I strongly feel you would feel you are worth something if you were helping others in this setting. Good Luck and God Bless !

@silverfox1455 I'm really glad you reached out here, and I want you to know that you're not alone. It takes courage to share your struggles, and I appreciate you opening up about what you've been going through. It's tough dealing with depression and PTSD, but remember that you are stronger than you might think, and there are people who care about you and want to support you through this journey. Seeking help and trying different medications show that you're taking proactive steps, and that's commendable. Keep holding on, and remember that healing takes time, but it is possible. Don't hesitate to lean on others for support, and consider reaching out to a mental health professional who can provide the understanding and guidance you need. You deserve to feel better and find joy in life. Take it one step at a time, and remember that there's hope for a brighter future ahead.