Anyone feel devasted about how you look & feel? And guilty too?

You got his❣️

I am so sorry you are experiencing these feelings of sadness over how your body has changed. This issue is something not spoken about much. Outsiders inadvertently can cause guilt feelings for that loss of vanity feelings. I think we struggle with seeing the glass half full rather than half empty. You are going through a period of grieving. Your body that holds your life has changed drastically for so many reasons. You will go through all stages of grief... " through" is the keyword. There is a light of self-acceptance you will feel at some point in your journey. Yes, of course, you should always count your blessings but these experiences are so normal. I wish you good health and healing.

Sadness and or grief whether it's about being sick or something else that life has thrown us is nothing to feel guilty about in my humble opinion. There is a fair amount of "toxic positivity" in our world that really is toxic! There is this sense that you have to consider what you have to be thankful for, but at the end of the day sometimes you just come up empty And that's OK! Life is not a bowl of strawberries, sometimes it's a bowl of pits!! We all need to feel safe in wrapping ourselves up in a robe of sadness, it's actually healthy and you have to deal with that sadness before you can really get through it all. It's OK to cry and be sad and ask why me, it's not OK to feel guilty about it, at least to me it isn't.

Hi there. I had my right mastectomy grade 3 IDC close to the chest wall. It was at the start of covid and I wanted a bilateral at the time. They couldn’t because they had cancelled all elective surgeries. I have to say looking at myself with 1 breast hanging was very sad and in your face every morning and left me with a lot of anxiety. Fast forward 3 years and the surgeon agreed that it was time and I am now 6 weeks post op and I am now in the company of all of the beautiful Flat Warriors ❤️❤️❤️ out there. That is how I feel. I have lots of options of prothesis’s. I found the best at Athleta’s and a good price. Went from D cup to B cup. And if I want to be flat which is most of the time at home, I do. Good luck🥰

In a post a few months ago, I stated I miss the old me before cancer. I decided to start trying to remake me! I have lost 28 pounds since my surgery. I’m finally having my reconstruction almost three years after my initial partial mastectomy. I’m hoping that will help me to feel like the Debbie I was before cancer maybe better!!

This new song (2023) may be sort of relevant here, since we are taught to invest so much in our physical appearance.
It's so hard to get over a lifetime of programming tying self-image, value, self-worth to how well we can fit into a very specific and strict image/shape.

Some lyrics quoted on the wikipedia page:

"I know Victoria's secret/And girl, you wouldn't believe/She's an old man who lives in Ohio/Making money off of girls like me/Cashing in on body issues/Selling skin and bones with big boobs".[8]

I’m still a one boob wonder. There are times I wish that I was fully flat. My one is a DD cup so the difference is obvious. My reconstruction would be arduous, at least 3 surgeries with the first being 10 hours. I have decided that’s a no go. Wearing a prosthetic has been painful, so the surgeon just did a revision to my mastectomy. I now have a 13 inch scar that starts at the middle of my chest and winds around to my back. I’m hoping this makes it possible to comfortably wear a prosthesis. Thanks for the idea for where to find affordable options. I’m glad you and your doctor have worked things out for you.

I am so glad you brought this topic up. I had a double mastectomy in December. The plastic surgeon left so much extra skin even though I told him to go flat…I look like a freak with rippled skin… mostly on the sides. It’s horrible. I used to be self conscious because my breasts were too big. Now I am self conscious about the bumpiness. I feel like I should make love to my husband with a shirt on. 😞

I admire your strength and warrior woman attitude. Yet we are all different in disposition. Not being able to do the things I love, prone and nauseous in bed, no appetite for even something as delicious as you describe I personally find it hard to fight. If it was a temporary treatment with an end in sight: yes, sure. But at stage 4 with lots of liver mets, I imagine this is as good as it gets. And somehow the Amazon spirit must have been doled out sparingly to me. So some of us will have to find other ways to cope. Reading is great.

Of course we are all wonderful in our own way, there is no doubt. But the question is how to get there to actually feel it.