What is the root cause of my depression & anxiety

Posted by ohnmar @ohnmar, May 21, 2023

I moved to overseas a year ago to take new job which is extremely stressful & I started having depression & severe anxiety two months after I arrived overseas & taken up my new job. I became totally different person since then. I am loosing interest on the things that I used to enjoy my whole life. I consulted with doctor & I was on antidepressants for six months & now i stopped taking as my mood is still down & not improved. It’s a big pain for me to wake up every morning & start my job. I don’t even want to get out of bed as I don’t want to face all the problems & stress at work. I don’t know what caused me depress & anxious. Is it chemical imbalance in my brain or is it my daily lifestyle with stressful job.

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It sounds to me like both the stressful job and being without your loved ones/family/friends in a strange place could be the root cause of your depression and anxiety. Other things like a lack of exercise and a change in diet can contribute to depression, too. Even just moving, (never mind to a different nation!), is recognized as a stressful life event.

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I moved to a different country. It is impossible to overestimate how hard that is.

The main mistake I made: not keeping in regular contact with all my family and real friends in my home country. Instead I made a "new start", like I was now going to be a better me, not have the flaws I had in my home country. Big mistake!

I doubt you're as misguided as I was. But I really underestimated how stressful it is to have to think while I speak, rather than just open my mouth and speak freely. Even when it's not a new language, it's a new culture. So it's not the same, it just isn't.

I moved for emotional reasons, so it wasn't exactly a mistake. But I really, really miss my home country even though I was miserable there, and have a fuller, more fulfilling life here.

All I'm saying, in other words, is that moving countries raises conflicts. Conflicts cause (in people who, like me, are predisposed) depression and anxiety.

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@ricm58

I moved to a different country. It is impossible to overestimate how hard that is.

The main mistake I made: not keeping in regular contact with all my family and real friends in my home country. Instead I made a "new start", like I was now going to be a better me, not have the flaws I had in my home country. Big mistake!

I doubt you're as misguided as I was. But I really underestimated how stressful it is to have to think while I speak, rather than just open my mouth and speak freely. Even when it's not a new language, it's a new culture. So it's not the same, it just isn't.

I moved for emotional reasons, so it wasn't exactly a mistake. But I really, really miss my home country even though I was miserable there, and have a fuller, more fulfilling life here.

All I'm saying, in other words, is that moving countries raises conflicts. Conflicts cause (in people who, like me, are predisposed) depression and anxiety.

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Are you seeing a therapist? Meds are one thing but can’t get to the cause of this. Find a therapist you can explore this with. Don’t get discouraged if you have to try more than one to connect. This is crucial. Gif bless and don’t hesitate with this!

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@scolio

It sounds to me like both the stressful job and being without your loved ones/family/friends in a strange place could be the root cause of your depression and anxiety. Other things like a lack of exercise and a change in diet can contribute to depression, too. Even just moving, (never mind to a different nation!), is recognized as a stressful life event.

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You are right. I miss my home country & family/friends so much no matter how life could be hardship there. I even tried regular exercise & it sometimes help my mood up, but doesn’t work all the time . I don’t know what to do. May be I should go back home. Besides there’s so much to adapt in new place, new working environment. It is too much & sometimes I feel like giving up & go back home

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@baa

Are you seeing a therapist? Meds are one thing but can’t get to the cause of this. Find a therapist you can explore this with. Don’t get discouraged if you have to try more than one to connect. This is crucial. Gif bless and don’t hesitate with this!

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Thanks for the suggestion. I will try finding therapist

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@ohnmar I feel for you as I know what depression and anxiety feels like. How do you get through every day?

I can relate to your experience and I didn't even move overseas. I'm in the US and we (my husband at the time) moved to Montréal in Canada. I had a fellowship in a lab where I was the only anglophone. I knew some French before we moved but certainly not enough for any kind of conversation. I took French classes in Montréal. It was exciting at first and then I became very anxious and depressed. This was before cell phones, texting, and fast internet so communicating with family and friends was more difficult. I found it difficult to make new friends in Montréal. . I felt isolated where I was working. In retrospect I now realize that the anxiety and depression was more related to my marriage and my husband's loss of interest in the marriage. So when I became more depressed he became more emotionally remote and eventually began having affairs. What did I do at the time? I had to care of myself. I found a psychiatrist to work with who prescribed medications that worked well enough for me to function better. I never did find a therapist in Montréal that I connected with although I admit I gave up after about 6 months of trying. I managed to accomplish a lot in my fellowship despite all this but it wasn't until I moved back to the US and then got a divorce that I began to feel better.

Personal relationships and close friends really matter. So does therapy. I hope you will work with your doctor on your medication and find a therapist you feel connection to. You are living presumably in a new country and trying to get used to the culture without the benefit of close friends or family with you. Is that accurate? Are you fluent in the language of this country?

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It can sometimes be expensive to stay in touch with family back home. Do you have options for contacting them more often?
A common reason for taking a foreign job is to send money back home to help out. If that's the case, I can see why it would be difficult for you to decide whether to stay or return home.

I am also curious, as @naturegirl15 already asked, whether you can communicate easily with people in the new country. This makes a difference because it could be helpful for you to find someone there who you trust and feel comfortable talking to.

Very often companies don't treat their employees well at all, especially those who come from overseas. So sadly the problem you have is shared by many.

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@scolio

It can sometimes be expensive to stay in touch with family back home. Do you have options for contacting them more often?
A common reason for taking a foreign job is to send money back home to help out. If that's the case, I can see why it would be difficult for you to decide whether to stay or return home.

I am also curious, as @naturegirl15 already asked, whether you can communicate easily with people in the new country. This makes a difference because it could be helpful for you to find someone there who you trust and feel comfortable talking to.

Very often companies don't treat their employees well at all, especially those who come from overseas. So sadly the problem you have is shared by many.

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I can easily communicate with people here. Language is not a problem for me. But I don’t have anyone who I can openly speak especially at work. It’s a corporate culture that can get people superficial & office politics is one of the miserable factors for me.

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@naturegirl5

@ohnmar I feel for you as I know what depression and anxiety feels like. How do you get through every day?

I can relate to your experience and I didn't even move overseas. I'm in the US and we (my husband at the time) moved to Montréal in Canada. I had a fellowship in a lab where I was the only anglophone. I knew some French before we moved but certainly not enough for any kind of conversation. I took French classes in Montréal. It was exciting at first and then I became very anxious and depressed. This was before cell phones, texting, and fast internet so communicating with family and friends was more difficult. I found it difficult to make new friends in Montréal. . I felt isolated where I was working. In retrospect I now realize that the anxiety and depression was more related to my marriage and my husband's loss of interest in the marriage. So when I became more depressed he became more emotionally remote and eventually began having affairs. What did I do at the time? I had to care of myself. I found a psychiatrist to work with who prescribed medications that worked well enough for me to function better. I never did find a therapist in Montréal that I connected with although I admit I gave up after about 6 months of trying. I managed to accomplish a lot in my fellowship despite all this but it wasn't until I moved back to the US and then got a divorce that I began to feel better.

Personal relationships and close friends really matter. So does therapy. I hope you will work with your doctor on your medication and find a therapist you feel connection to. You are living presumably in a new country and trying to get used to the culture without the benefit of close friends or family with you. Is that accurate? Are you fluent in the language of this country?

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What you said is very right. It’s only me & my husband here & there’s no none. I also can’t tell my husband frankly all about my feelings & how I am suffering being here because I don’t want him to depress like me. He resigned his job to accompany me to support my career & he may also has guilty conscience for not being able to earn income at this point of time. If he knows I am suffering here, I am afraid it will hurt his feelings.

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If you moved to further your career, and you are so very unhappy in your present job, would you have any options to work for a different company? Are there any comparable options open to you back home?

Is there anything good about your current work situation?

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