Feeling lonely and crying

Hi Rusty,

I just Posted about my own personal hell that I am going through but in the spirit of this forum where I feel we should give as well as receive I wanted to comment. Loneliness seems to compound the mental challenges as you don't have a warm body whose eyes you can look into and connect with. I force myself to get out of the house and sometimes that helps but it can also serve to make you feel more alone as you see so many people together laughing, talking etc. and it accentuates rather than diminishes the sense of being on a deserted island. I was even thinking, on the basis that I know I am not the only lonely person, of doing a billboard stating I am lonely are you, let's talk over coffee or similar and just sitting down in a high pedestrian traffic area and seeing if anyone stops to talk to me other than a policeman. I don't want to go to a bar or a cafe and try to strike up a conversation because I know I can't at the moment which is very sad because in a normal state of mind I am very gregarious. I guess my point is we have to try to think outside the box because the in person options to meet people particularly at my age 65 are very limited

I was sitting here this morning, grieving for my depression, my son who has no time for me, my lost friends, the death of my sister two years ago, and at 71 developing seizures. After reading your posts, it is evident as humans we all have similar problems. We are suffer. It is inevitable as long as we breathe. I think Dr. Edith Eger, the Holocaust survivor and author said ‘suffering is inevitable; what we do with it is a choice.’ I’m trying hard to serve again. Helping others is a good path. God bless you all.

I'm glad you've found church to be a positive experience. I've been considering trying that myself.

Families can be surprising. In mine we're not close, it's all a bit formal. I've never been called needy, but my brother once said helping me was "like pushing water uphill" which, though probably true, and maybe funny, is still sad.

I did move geographically,a long way, and the effects of that cannot be underestimated. It's frustrating when even nice, friendly people don't feel culturally familiar. But I'm sure with time things will improve!

For those who have mentioned church I wanted to share what it has done for me. I have made it through the darkest moments because of faith. I have issues of not feeling loved and abandonment even though I am married and have a great son. Isolation and perception feed my depression. I have the constant knowledge that I have a God who loves me and will never abandon me. Whatever you feel about this I would encourage you to find a group of people who have similar interests and or
beliefs. Isolation is something that often drags the depressed further down.

You might want to listen to the journey of Wim Hof. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ame5F9MaGJA
It is a story that starts with depression. The cold is a powerful tool. And then about the science of cold at Hubermanlab.com. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3MgDtZovks&t=409s

@mayome99 If you look at the first responses to rusty, you will see that indeed there were posts. I am glad you are concerned enough to ask your question. What are your ideas to address loneliness and crying?
Ginger

Hi all I’m Liz. I’ve suffered from depression it seems all my life. It was never super hard except for a couple of times in Jr. High. My kdsand their friends kept me alive and going ! Now is a different story. I’m lonely and I live in a home with “husband “ roommate basically and my youngest that is on the spectrum and recently found out bipolar. Neither one gives me the time of day. She’s 28 and my oldest at 33 is in Portland. I bought us a house and finally am moving in August. I’m excited to spend time with her. Getting out of a toxic environment I’m hoping will help. My anxiety is off the charts ! My soulmate, longest love of my life passed away during Covid. That person was my brother and best friend. I’ve been so lost since he passed away. Do you think my move will help ?

Hello Liz,
Sounds as though you have been to Hell and back. Sometimes I feel that way. I am not a trained therapist so I don't know if moving will help. I think it all depends on you. If you can leave the baggage at the old address, it will. But if you bring all the baggage with you it will not. I hope you know what I mean. Good luck to you.

I’m hoping I can leave it behind. It won’t happen right away I’m sure I’ll be getting a lot of questions about how everything runs here. I’m looking forward to moving and in time living my best life. Just having someone to talk with, eat with and travel with will be night and day from where I am now

I can only speak for myself. Moving helped, maybe even saved me. At the same time, I miss familiar places from before, though I am honest with myself and remember I was unhappy in those places.