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Alzheimer's with Hallucinations
What has been your experience with a loved one who has Alzheimer's with hallucinations?
I have been married for 55 years and for several years my husband has had memory problems. However, six weeks ago he started getting confused about who I was. He has now been diagnosed with Alzheimer's.
Examples:
- I was talking about our son and he asked me who he was.
- He said to me "Whoever you are I am glad that you said "I will take
care of you forever. "
- He asked me if I still can draw and I said that I have never been able
to draw. Then he said he thought that I was his cousin. She was a
very talented artist.
- Often he thinks other people are in the house.
- He is sad that he can't drive anymore and he thinks it is my fault.
I can be with him and I think everything is normal and then I realize that he doesn't even know who I am. It is difficult to put into words how heartbreaking and horrifying this is. I am losing my husband in the most awful manner.
I have cried more in a month than I have in 50 years.
Katrina
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Here is the poem. Frank
https://pivottohappy.com/alz-poem/
Thank You FWW for the poem.
10 years is such a long time. I can't imagine.
There are sure a lot of people on this site who are courageous!!
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1 ReactionHello Katrina,
Your paragraph about realizing your husband doesn't know you, hit home for me. It's hard to describe how I feels when I realize my husband doesn't know who I am. It then make me wonder how long it had been going on before I realized it! Breaks my heart every time!
Trisha
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1 ReactionHi @trishaanderson Your post struck a chord with me. The constant changes of dementia in our loved ones' abilities was one of the harder aspects of this disease for me for certain.
I had to constantly remind myself that it was my wife who was changing (or her love for me, etc.) but it was her broken brain that was interfering with what we had been experiencing for decades before. It was always a challenge!
Wishing you continued Strength, Courage, & Peace
Yesterday my husband asked me if he has ever been married. (My heart sank!) We have been married for 55 years. Then a couple of hours later he said " I love you so much. You have been a wonderful wife." He can change so quickly. At times minute by minute. Sometimes I think that he is O.K. but if he is not speaking I really don't know for sure.
Scott....Thank you for your wishes.
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1 ReactionMy husband is fighting Alz's; one moment he knows who I am, then doesn't know me in the next. I am sure he 'sees' things I don't see also. The only time he seems disturbed is when he sundowns and thinks people are out to kill him (career Navy). I assure him, calmly the staff is here to protect us.
I try to focus on "glass half full". My husband may not know who I am but each time he does choose me!! He is so thankful when I tell him I love him and I am married to him!! We can be happy together in that moment. In everyday life we do actually choose to be married to our loved one
Eventually as AD progresses, the whole body may be impacted. Vision may change. Your person may loose ability to speak, hold silverware, forget how to swallow, hands may curl up, forget how to walk. There's no time table to guide if/when these things may happen.
I try to keep my focus on what we can do today. I may have an idea or two for tomorrow. I have a big overarching view of the future but not long range specific plans because that takes too much effort and emotion especially if something doesn't pan out!! My plate is so full I have to be careful not to overextend myself so I have energy to enjoy and appreciate today.
Love, hugs & prayers for all on this bizarre journey!! Keep your nose above water!!
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4 ReactionsOooops.... I forgot to finish line 6.... In everyday life we do actually do choose to be married/committed to our loved one each day, which is not so different with the way things are right now with dealing with dementia.
My perspective of time changes as I have to deal with right now right now, and that is about all the energy I have. I am on call 24/7 so I have to pace myself!! Dementia does not take a day off so neither can I!!
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3 ReactionsHugs. My 86 yo parents are going through this. My mom hasn’t recognized my father in 3-4 years off and on She is now in hospice at home and it is so hard my dad wanted her home but I am now a full time caregiver in their home and miss my hubby and dogs and work full time. The decision might need to be made for a home. I think it’s easier on them than what we want to think. I think that is most likely the right decision honestly
Katrina, I am a retired speech-language pathologist that worked with people with dementia. I empathize with you going through this heartbreak.
You said the hardest thing was not knowing if he knew who you were. The important thing is that he feels you are someone that he feels safe with. It would help both of you if you just tell him before every interaction who you are and what you are there for and what you are doing next.
An example:”Hi John, I am your wife Katrina. We are partners. I am here to help you ——It is time to ——.
One thing that many family members have told me is that they have a schedule that is the same routine everyday. It helps the person to feel secure. And then the caregiver can remind them, “next we go for a walk, then after that we stop for coffee.”
Please don’t ask him to tell you who you are or who is visiting. Just state it as a matter of fact. Actually asking a lot of questions is stressful and not helpful.
I hope my suggestions will relieve some of your anxiety.
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