How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject? Now people talk about Botox and no one raises an eyebrow.

There was a Texan visiting Ireland on a business trip. One night he decided to visit a Pub to get the feel of a good ol’ Irish night out. Having heard of the ability of some Irishmen to really belt down Guinness without issue, he decided he’d put a wager on the counter. So the Texan yelled above the crowd, “I’ll give $500 to anyone who can drink 10 pints of Guinness in short order!”
There were no takers! In fact, one burly guy left the bar! Disappointed, the Texan nursed his Guinness and after about 30 minutes decided to leave. Just as he was about to head out the door, the burly man who had left 30 minutes earlier popped back into the Pub! “Hey Texan, is that bet still on?”, he asked.
The Texan answered, “ It sure is, partner!” “Barkeep, set up 10 pints of Guinness!”
With his fellow countrymen looking on and cheering, the Irishman drank one after the other without stopping!! The Texan was shocked and impressed! He handed over the $500 and congratulated the contestant.
Curiosity got the better of him so asked the winner why he left earlier and then came back. The Irishman answered, “Well, I left to go to the pub next door to see if I could do it first, before I took the bet!”

😜😂🤣

What did the truck driver say to the one-legged hitchhiker?

Hop in!

No joke in this post...(sorry) but many THANKS for the laughs!
Or should I say thanks for the groans!
Happy St. Paddy's Day!

"My husband just passed away."

"I am so sorry for your loss. Were you able to take care of him?"

"I told him I would do anything for him that he wanted. He told me his final wish was that he wanted to be buried with all of his money."

"What did you do?"

"I did as he asked."

"Then how are you living now?"

"I took all of his money and put it in my checking account. Then I wrote out a check to him and put it in his casket"

A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.
The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,
"You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.
It would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado.
When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.
So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.
He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.
All the regulars take notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains.

"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."

A man tells his wife: “When I get home from work, I expect you to be to be dressed sexy and have your hair done. I expect to be greeted with a hug and a cocktail. I then expect to be served a delicious dinner, then you will bathe me and take me to bed. And, in the morning, do you know who is going to dress me???”
Wife responds: “The coroner?”

😂😂 This was a great chuckle to start the day!!!

"I just got here to heaven."

"I recently arrived too."

"What did you die of?''

"I froze to death. How about you?"

"I died of joy."

"I've never heard of anyone dying of joy. Tell me how that happened."

"I thought my wife was being unfaithful. So, I came home early one day, when I thought she would be with someone else in our house. I tried to be quiet when I opened then closed the front door. I slowly tiptoed up the stairs and silently opened the bedroom door. I looked in and saw her laying on the bed. I looked under the bed and looked in the closet. There was no one there. I realized how much she loved me. I was filled with so much joy that I died."

"If you had looked in the refrigerator, we would both be alive."