Should we find a new provider??

Lee, You are a Saint for taking this on for your children. Yes, you do need to find another provider, preferably a neurologist that specializes in MCI/ Dementia related diseases. Big applause to you for checking out the Xanax. You are a wonderful advocate for your children's father. God bless and good luck finding a great doctor. For us, it was like finding the needle in the haystack.....and I quickly realized that I have to question just about everything and speak up with respect but with determination.
Jan

Hi @lctpdc, my husband has moderate Alzheimer's, diagnosed about five years ago. I told the neurologist that he was anxious and compulsive at the time, and often would engage in laborious ritualized behaviors. It would take him a whole day to get the garbage ready to put out because he had to break everything down. The doctor prescribed Citalopram, 20 mg a day, which my husband has been taking for a couple of years now, with no ill effects. When I asked him how he felt, after he was taking it a while, he said that he didn't feel like so many things were pressing down on him anymore.
You are a generous person, taking on the responsibility of caregiver for your former husband. I hope your children appreciate you.

Hi, my husband Will has Vascular Dementia and he sounds like your husband, having to do a million little things before he can proceed towards his goal. He will find many things to do just as dinner is ready and in the meantime, our dinner is getting cold. I remember his mother was like that as well. After cooking a big meal, she just had to wash all the dishes, pots and pans, and clean the kitchen before joining us in the front room. By the time she was done, we had been relaxing and socializing for at least half an hour or more. When he is driving, he is constantly changing all the controls and not paying attention to how fast he is driving and sways back and forth on the road. His behavior seems to be compulsive and reminds me of Jack Nicholson in “As Good as it Gets”, having to lock the doors three or four times. I try to get used to his nitpicking but it takes a lot of patience to wait for him to start and finish something in a timely manner. His judgment regarding priorities and decisions is not good. He changes his mind about something but forgets to tell me and then gets angry because I didn’t remember and swears he told me. He is on a schedule which I understand is good for him to have. And forget playing cards. He is so slow that I can check my emails, go to the bathroom or read a book while he is figuring out how he wants to play - but he is great at it. He is also great with puzzles, Solitaire and Sudoko. And sometimes he remembers something I forgot! He helps me with cooking and dishes and even makes the bed, so I am grateful for his help and he
likes feeling productive.

@lctpdc, how are you doing?

And besides all of Will’s chores, he empties the garbage, gets the mail, and washes clothes and vacuums!
Sorry, he only works for me!

We are in the process of moving, which is hectic enough, nothing is working smoothly so I am completely stressed out. Now our phones are giving us trouble because we changed carriers so we can only message now. Trying to find nd help activating the phones is taking away time for packing! I’m at the height of my frustration!

Thank you for your hugs and concern.
Got our phones fixed so it is a better day. Packing away for our move.
God’s blessings to you both!

Janet

Where are you moving? Downsizing or assisted living?

Thanks all for your support and encouragement!
As it turns out, somehow I confused "xanax" with "zoloft" -- he's actually taking the latter, which is logical and appropriate. I don't know how the confusion happened; perhaps my own age-related memory lapses are to blame.
Anyway, we are all trying to make the best of a tragic situation. We are eager to learn the findings of the neuro-psychologic assessment. Hopefully it will shed light on his condition and give us a path to follow.