Aging and Hearing Loss: Can You Talk About It?

Oh, my goodness @willie23 I hope the OTC hearing aids do help!
I wish I could get my husband to try them. I have a severe to profound loss but he, as he has aged, is not hearing very well and he knows his hearing has diminished. He just brushes me off though when I suggest he try some OTC hearing aids. I guess I need to try harder but knowing my husband I doubt he will change his mind.
JK

@contentandwell

One thing I have learned over the years is that family members generally have little or no influence when it comes to someone who could benefit from hearing aids. Personally I would stop trying to convince your husband. It will take someone outside your family or some event that will wake him up. The same goes for any life changing choice…..like weight loss….they will do it when they decide…not you. Whatever you say is literally falling on deaf ears.

Case in point…my son has a mild loss..I suggested a hearing test, as did my daughter in law, to no avail. It took one of his clients (who wore hearing aids) to tell him…..Hey Jim you need hearing aids…I am giving you my old ones…try them. He did and had then reprogrammed by the Audi his client recommended. He was amazed at some of the sounds he was missing. But, guess what? Many months down the line I noticed he wasn’t wearing them. He said they were not working as well and didn’t really need them. I gently suggested he get retested and go back to the Audi as they may need adjustments. Also mentioned that untreated loss gets worse etc. Did he? Nope. I told my lovely daughter in law not to mention it anymore….he’ll find out. I also think men in general are more reluctant to change. That’s just the way males and females are different…no offense guys.

FL Mary

So agree! My dad had hearing loss and it was so stressful since he wouldn’t acknowledge it. If you weren’t looking right at him talking loudly he couldn’t hear you. I worried about him driving. We’d be out to eat and friends would go by and speak to him but it was the old “nod and smile” answer. After a couple years of ignoring the family he one day decided he needed hearing aids 🤷🏼‍♀️

Sorry, offense taken by this male. I was at a play and could only get 10% of what one of the actors was saying. Other people behind us heard perfectly well - I knew because they were laughing. I made an appointment to the Costco hearing center for a test. I failed miserably. The lady set up the aids to address my shortcomings and I walked around the store eavesdropping on everyone. I was missing SO much to be heard! I needed no encouragement. Plus, the lady said dementia sets in earlier for people with hearing issues. The aids are on order.

Recommendations: Purchase the book "Hear and Beyond" by Eberts and Hannen. Let the family members read it so they have a better understanding of many things related to hearing loss, especially that of adult onset. Hopefully, the person with hearing loss will pick it up and everyone's attitude will change.

It's such a shame there is so much stigma about hearing loss, but the reality is...there is. No one wants to get 'old', and so many associate hearing loss with aging. Sure, it's more common after age 65, but it affects people of all ages, including children who have to learn to live with it from childhood. Do we look at those kids and make fun of them because they are 'deaf and dumb'. Sorry folks, that's a horribly negative politically incorrect term, but many older people grew up with that ugly phrase. They also heard jokes about 'the absent minded professor' who couldn't hear and did stupid things that people laughed at. No one wants to be laughed at for any reason. Those of us with hearing loss sometimes need to relax and learn laugh at ourselves...as we accept and explain what just happened; what we may have misunderstood and responded to out of context.

The other choice people make is to become angry and reclusive. That doesn't work well as isolation from reclusiveness usually ends up with depression, and that can lead to cognitive decline.

I know it's hard to have 'the discussion' with someone who doesn't want to listen. So again, pick up that book and read all about it.

I've also published a book that shares my granddaughter's experiences living with my hearing loss. We collaborated on this book with our art and dialogue. It's a story of a child adjusting to an adult's hearing loss without stigmatizing it. It was just the way it was with Grandma. Watch for: "Can She HEAR This Cat's Meow? Living with Grandma's Hearing Loss from a Kids Perspective". It should be available on Amazon by the end of the month, perhaps even sooner! It's a children's book with an adult message and lots of excellent resources.

Julia M Olson

@rfherald

So happy to hear about your decision. You are one of the smart ones. They say the average person waits 7 years before acknowledging hearing loss or getting aids.
It’s absolutely correct that dementia can set in earlier if the loss goes unaided. Much luck with your new “life”.

Happy hearing
FL Mary

@hawkssr

That’s a happy ending. As for driving, Deaf people drive all the time. Those of us who have certain degrees of loss and the culturally Deaf are probably the most careful drivers around. We use our eyes more and are habitually looking for emergency vehicles and generally don’t have music blasting. I have a profound loss but I do hear emergency sirens when they are closer rather than afar. I bet I can spot them before a normal hearing person can. I can hear certain sounds on my dashboard like the turn signals and seatbelt reminders. All these sounds seem to be within my very narrow range of hearing.
I would be more worried about dad’s eyesight as he ages. As for speaking loudly…that’s usually not the way to address someone who has a hearing loss. It’s better to face that person and speak directly and not too fast. And we generally can’t hear if you whisper in our ear.
There are many free speech to text apps that he can use to help him along in his daily interactions and also the cell phone app Innocaption+.

FL Mary

Well I rode with him when he was driving and it was not safe. Yes I had to face him and speak loudly, it did no good to talk to him from another room or with my back to him. I live in Arizona and when the snowbirds arrive you watch out for them they don’t look for you. My dad’s eyesight actually got better, he lived in his own home until he died at 91.

Thanks; that's good information from you. 7 years of additional declining mental ability is more than I can afford to lose. Unavoidable "natural" aging dementia is frustrating enough.

I want 2 Cochlear Implants