Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

Same here. I sold my house in 2017 and since then have moved 4 times. I'm now in a 530 sq ft senior apartment and still ruthlessly downsizing. It's very hard to get rid of the last holdouts with their memories and traditions attached, but my kids don't want them and I'm a different person now. One by one, I put them out where I can see them and remember all the good things about them, then when I'm ready, I thank them for their use and the pleasure they gave me, and sometimes I take a photo. Then I donate them so they can serve someone else. The very few things that represent people or events that mean something only to me are put into a small box. My intention is to leave the bare minimum for my kids to deal with when I'm gone.

Good luck with everything, Mercer!

You're asking the right questions.

/LarryG

Downsizing was the best thing we've ever done. I down sized all my "stuff". Ir is freeing not to have so much stuff to take care of. Go for it!

Oh, yes definitely true. I spend my winters in a community of part-time and full-time wanderers and nomads, as well as people who move seasonally between RV's/tiny homes and other homes. They have encouraged me to shed "stuff" in favor of friends and experiences. It has been freeing and almost exhiliarating.

We are beginning to really assess each possession and acquisition. Every cupboard, shelf and box I empty frees me. Whenever we replace a possession, we give away or donate the item (and try to throw in a bit more!)

Today we visited an art fair, where many things caught our attention, but left with only greeting cards and tiny hand painted note pads to give as gifts.

When we give gifts to our kids/grands we focus on services they cannot afford or experiences. State park memberships, a housecleaner for a busy young family, trips to plays or concerts... This helps to avoid accumulation in their lives.
Sue

We downsized from 2800 square foot house to a 1300 square cabin on the lake. My mantra became, if there is not a place for it and a purpose for it, it has to go. But everytime I drive up to this cute little house I fall in love with it all over again. It truly is not stuff that makes you happy.

@sueinmn Like you, i have been downsizing possessions whenever possible. My neighbor seems to be just the opposite, bringing more and more things home. I do not access her home very often, but it is probably not my imagination it is full of "stuff". Last time it seemed full to me, and she has brought home at least two more china cabinets, and bought more purple glass!

Your idea of gifting services is great, and I bet much appreciated.
Ginger

At the age of seventy, my now deceased husband and I moved from our large 4500 sq ft home in MA to a small two bedroom two bath 1000 sq ft coop overlooking the Hudson River in NY. We wanted to live close to our children and grandkids so we could spend more time with them. But what to do with all those “things” after our two daughters chose what they wished to have? I decided “where” to put them is not the issue. Instead, I decided that if any one item did not bring me joy I would part with it. There’s always a home for no longer needed treasures. Also, if I presently buy something new for my home, it is an upgrade requiring that I need to simultaneously part with an item to make room for it. That concept works for me. I hope it works for others too. Bela Ruth

Due to violent circumstance & the bone burning cold of Lake Erie winters, I packed the barest things I could put in an extra long duffle bag & got on a train to WA. I knew no one there. Was invited to come stay til I could find a place, so I ran for my life. I took my 12 yr old son, but the 4 grown children stayed there. They had their own lives. I was healthy then, but didn't know a thing of the world, & it ate me. That was 97. It was also the last time my 5 children spoke to me. They were angry I left. But there is much they don't know I had to do to make sure they didn't do without. They will never know. I've been here in WA, had to move to ever smaller places, then I was accepted to Section 8 just as it closed. Otherwise I'd still be sleeping in a Camry with my service dog on Post where the MPs would pass by to check on us as we were parked in front of the laundrette, because the landlord of the cottage I was in he would enter while I slept or was gone to work. It was not safe. But I knew we'd be safe on Post. It was Feb. It took 3 legal aid lawyers to get free of the contractof that person that sent pictures of inside my cottage while I was gone to work. I felt violated. I lost all my deposit, give things away to soldiers families, but a friend I worked for paid for a truck, got help to move, & a deposit to get out of there as soon as the voyeur who demanded I obey him, agreed to the terms of the lawyers. I had already had everything I had left packed. With their help I was gone in 4hrs to where I safely am now. But still, only 1 daughter would talk with me, & one day she died. 25 yrs old in another state & I had no funds to go there. There was no point. My children's dad is very well off. My son that came with me left me because his dad had no ey & I didn't. The other 4 still would not speak to me. I have never understood the reason. I would try at birthdays to send at least an I love you message. silence. It finally shattered me when I read what someone wrote in a book, "Are you thinking more of them than they are if you?" I remember my hands falling from the book & staring at nothing. Then I thought of the boxes of memory things I still had from 97 that I brought with me of my children & took less clothes to make space for them. It was very painful, but with a friend's help, I slowly began going thru every box, giving so much to her to give to anyone who was in need, that she made trips. I asked the now 3 remaining children if they at least wanted the box if photos. no. So I put some on walls, but the rest is in the last box. I live bareboned as I can. Physically it is easier for me now at 68 & dealing with so many health things from being a laborer all the yrs I've been here. SS & a small L&I pension, a different service pup, thank you Lord for the Section 8 still, but I have more space here without the memory boxes, & with Time, less heartache. Was easier giving away kitchen & other things than things they had given me when they were small children. But I kept telling myself it will help or give a smile to a child somewhere. Many of the things have did. I am greatly blessed. God has watched over me & just when I thought at times I was going to have to live in the 96 Ford Explorer with my service pup on Post somewhere again, He made a way we could stay here. & we are safe. My retired military friend I worked all this yrs for, he & his family are still here for me. There not much here now, enough though. I am content. My oldest daughter started sending me msgs one day & I abide by the rule I can write back when she writes first & no talking Past things. I can do that gladly if it means hearing her. So pup & I are doing well, we are safe, we go to Base or Post so she can run while snail walk with my hiking pole. Two days ago I walked the whole perimeter of the hidden pond! Yesterday only half, but I still did it! Be grateful for every blessing no matter if it's just a few steps. I get to watch the C-17s every day & the CH-47s. My blood is ARMY green. Thank you Dad who served in N. Africa & Italy, thank you my brother who came back in body from Nam then vanished, & I pray for every soldiers & their fa6i see every day. I stop for VETS & welcome them home. I will NEVER forget. All I've been thru, nothing compared to my soldiers, The Boots. They kept me safe as my pup & I slept cold in a car on Post. I have the honor of watching them every day & watch in awe as another C-17 lifts off. My Boots have been my encouragement to "keep movin". I have fought with fear & tears, but I'm still standing. I have a 1 bedroom apt with a washer/dryer, my truck is still working, my retired 1st Sergeant & his family still help, the other friend still hauls off more I downsize though there's not much left. But I enjoy the open space. & my last memory box of photos. I was welcomed to volunteer to help my VETS as an honorary RANGERS VET, (even though the recruiter wouldn't accept me when I was 18), at a VA golf course. HOOYAH! My heart near breaks with pride & honor for each one I'm getting to know. & I'm learning to truly smile & laugh. So the bottom line of all this? downsizing has been a blessing though at times a painful one, I keep asking 'Is this a need or a want & will I use it this week?' If the answer it's a want & no it won't get used, it goes into the Give Box. I enjoy filling those kinds of boxes. I'm free.💜🐕‍🦺

Please forgive my PS.

PS: I hear our Lord ask me what have I learned from the fraction of my 24 loooong yrs here starting new? To be thankful, to give grace, to look people in the eyes & see their silent hurting & loneliness & reach out my hand, to NEVER walk passed a VET with a Vietnam cap or any military cap on without stopping to say Welcome Home, I will NEVER forget.
To not judge the homeless or anyone with a sign, I give if I can. What they do with it is between them & God. It's none of my business. To pray that those in tents are warm, safe & that the Lord would bless them with their needs, for but for Him, I too might have had a cart with my downsized needs & a box of photos. He watches over me. He make a way for me to give back even if it is but a thank you & a smile. My heart means every word. & He has taught me what it truly means to be humbled. To see what is truly important. Things aren't. People are. I love you Boots.

Just finished reading all the interesting feedbacks on this subject. I am 88 years old. At this point I am alone. My husband passed away. We were married for 59 years. Shortly after that I had to have a full hip replacement. So I had to go through this alone. 2022 for me will be the year that goes down in infamy. Have no idea what 2023 will bring. I am not a year out of surgery and almost healed. Have an appointment with my surgeon next month. My husband and I have been (and I still am) living in a 55 plus community so we do not have a large home. So far in spite of my advanced age I am doing okay. With the help of a cleaning person I do everything myself. But the big question is for how long? I decided to look at some assisted living options while I still can. What I found is that while the people are friendly, the accommodations are small and the rents go up every year. Very little about them appeals to me. Next I will have to explore the cost of having someone come in to care for me. But the biggest problem is that no one can predict what will happen next. Will I even need assisted living? If so what kind will I need? The questions are endless and there are no answers until something actually happens.