Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

This is Bela. I can identify with you, Marilyn! We’re similar in age, and both widows in a long marriage.
I am 85 years of age and my dear husband died eight years ago from an accident in elective surgery. I was devastated for three years. After having been happily married for 51 1/2 years, I decided that living alone in a rambling house was not my cup of tea. I now live in a coop that I own with 100 other resident unit owners, and I have downsized from owning a big house to a two bedroom two bath 1000 sq. foot dwelling. I gave away anything that did not bring me joy, or did not fit into my new space. As you already mentioned, we cannot predict our health conditions over time. But what I can say is that I enjoy my smaller space, and it’s river view, and if the time comes that I need assistance, my plan is to have a caretaker sleep in the other bedroom, and finally make use of my long-term care for payment. That’s the plan for my future health care. That’s the best plan that I can come up with at this time. Our future health is a big question mark, so we can only plan up to a point.
I would go by your instincts, and not move to an assisted living space if your heart is not happy with that choice.

Loved your note, M!

So many of us ponder the same questions... whether we're younger, the same age as you, or even older, I'm sure.

Thank you for sharing what you're going through. It unites all of us seniors... because we'll all have to consider how to proceed from where we are.

Think you're on the right track... weighing what appear to be the current options, but knowing that of some decisions will need to be made at the time that they're ripe... when circumstances are clearer.

And congrats on your status... you're sharp and clear, and are an excellent communicator!

All the best.

/LarryG

@rosemary, Thanks for this link for guide to downsizing. Something that takes a great deal of thought. At present, I am just so thankful that I have "stayed in place" and not hurried into an independent sr. living establishment.

My wife and I recently downsized by going from two homes to one. One was a second home. This move has been a good one for us: closer to children and grandchildren.
e decided that in our seventies we were not ready to go into a continuing care retirement center,(CCRC) where we had been on the waiting list for several years. When it became available, we decided we were just not ready for it. It seemed too confining. and maybe more than we wanted right now. Some people want all the activities. and socializing. That is not what ww want right now.

What did we do? We found a senior care coordinating care company in our local area. Through them we now have concierge physicians, home help, and a second set of
eyes of nurses eyes for hospitalizations.

My wife had a 6 day hospital stay last month. The visiting nurses(both very experienced)came daily. They monitored my wife's care and read the hospital charts daily. They talked with the hospitalist as needed.

Yes, this is an expensive service. But we have help at home as needed.

We like having our own home.

This still costs less than going into a CCRC

Thank you, @rosemary for raising this important question. Like, Dana, I've been exploring for the past 2 yrs, the concept of downsizing and moving into an independent sr living estbl. near my daughter and family out-of-state. I also own a spacious home and while I can still manage the upkeep and regular maintenance required, more of my circle of close aging friends are facing similar deliberations and several already have moved, some to be closer to immediate family and others because of the need for more supervised care.

The question for me is timing. Would it be better to sell and move while I still have some wits about me and can take care of the decisions required in listing the house, arranging an estate sale, selecting the next residence or do I wait because my cost of living, maintenance and lack of state inc. tax makes it financially more feasible to stay put awhile longer. I bought long-term care ins. yrs ago and have been so fortunate that the premium has only gone up once and that to a small degree.

If I wait until I have fewer wits about me...which might not be long! vbg...my daughter would be ever so capable in handling what had to be done. However, I still vividly remember the difficulties I lived when handling my mom's later daily care and medical needs, home maintenance & repairs and later estate issues while living out-of-town. Living out-of-state would have only compounded the issues requiring action.

My longest divorced friend here of 40+ yrs recently began building a new home out-of-town to be near her children and grands. The new house is under construction; most of her belongings and furnishings for the new house have been moved and and placed in storage in the new location. Having completed her estate sale with her house listed for sale, she now is finding that there is almost a freeze on residential house sales in this area.

Now, with the spread of the virus especially hitting the senior living and nursing home establishments, I can only be thankful that I have waited on my decision. However, time does not stand still and my mental debate over timing continues.

I would really like to hear how others are thinking about downsizing and starting to plan ahead.

My wife and I recently downsized by going from two homes to one. One was a second home. This move has been a good one for us: closer to children and grandchildren.
e decided that in our seventies we were not ready to go into a continuing care retirement center,(CCRC) where we had been on the waiting list for several years. When it became available, we decided we were just not ready for it. It seemed too confining. and maybe more than we wanted right now. Some people want all the activities. and socializing. That is not what ww want right now.

What did we do? We found a senior care coordinating care company in our local area. Through them we now have concierge physicians, home help, and a second set of
eyes of nurses eyes for hospitalizations.

My wife had a 6 day hospital stay last month. The visiting nurses(both very experienced)came daily. They monitored my wife's care and read the hospital charts daily. They talked with the hospitalist as needed.

Yes, this is an expensive service. But we have help at home as needed.

We like having our own home.

This still costs less than going into a CCRC