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Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question
At some point as we age, we will have to make a decision about leaving our homes and downsizing. Maybe in our own town or to another town. Maybe to smaller home, condo, apartment, or assisted living/senior community.
When the time comes to downsize, seniors can struggle with a multitude of emotional, physical, and financial challenges.
How do you make an informed decision about when to downsize?
What tips do you have to share?
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@thisismarilynb You're absolutely correct, there is no way to forecast what we might need in the future. Good for you for thinking about it now, when you have less pressure to make decisions. Looking at all your options, writing down the pros and cons if you need to, may help make things even clearer.
Do you have access to a senior services office that might help you with critical questions you have?
Ginger
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1 ReactionMarilyn, my Mom was able to choose a residence with a "continuum of care" from independent to minimal assistance to full assistance. They had a related full care skilled nursing home, but she never needed that. We were able to add services as she needed (she wouldn't live with either my sister or me.) It was the best solution for our family. She started in a 2br apartment, and when she no longer cooked or did her own laundry, moved to a 1br. (This was after she and my Dad gradually downsized from 2story to 1story to an accessible mobile home, shedding stuff at every step. ) My in-laws stayed in their own home until they each needed skilled care - 7 years apart. There is a different path for each of us.
Sue
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4 ReactionsYes, that is true - there is a different path for each of us. I did not like the smallness of the rooms. I have mild claustrophobia and am afraid I will feel too closed in. I enjoy being quiet. I like to read and work on jigsaw puzzles. My guess is that they want the residents not to stay in their small rooms, but to be out playing their games. This is not for me at this time. I am still having a very difficult time with my husband's death, especially at night. Sometimes the anguish is so severe I can't even cry - just scream. I can do this in my own home, but not there. I am still cooking and doing laundry. In fact I went grocery shopping today as I am having a couple of friends over for dinner on Wednesday. I will be making everything myself. My fervent hope is that I can continue this way until the one morning I don't wake up.
Happy New Year to you all.
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2 ReactionsNo I don't. In fact I am not sure I even know what a senior services office is. I am so used to do things on my own and not asking questions. Just google. I find that most of those facilities are for people who have very low incomes. In addition to my Social Security I have a small income from my husband's employer. The two combined means I can manage on my own if I am careful.
This is Bela. I can identify with you, Marilyn! We’re similar in age, and both widows in a long marriage.
I am 85 years of age and my dear husband died eight years ago from an accident in elective surgery. I was devastated for three years. After having been happily married for 51 1/2 years, I decided that living alone in a rambling house was not my cup of tea. I now live in a coop that I own with 100 other resident unit owners, and I have downsized from owning a big house to a two bedroom two bath 1000 sq. foot dwelling. I gave away anything that did not bring me joy, or did not fit into my new space. As you already mentioned, we cannot predict our health conditions over time. But what I can say is that I enjoy my smaller space, and it’s river view, and if the time comes that I need assistance, my plan is to have a caretaker sleep in the other bedroom, and finally make use of my long-term care for payment. That’s the plan for my future health care. That’s the best plan that I can come up with at this time. Our future health is a big question mark, so we can only plan up to a point.
I would go by your instincts, and not move to an assisted living space if your heart is not happy with that choice.
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6 ReactionsYou certainly brought up some eye opening points about assistant living lifestyle. While volunteering in Florida working at a shelter assisting the Hurricane Ian survivors my husband and I did crisis management and many of the older people straight out refused to consider Assistant Living.
At first we were confused why they turned down what seemed to be the idea option but after finding out how assistant living worked we understood.
It’s a very expensive option and similar to nursing home arrangements. Basically, all your money goes to the faculty with a small amount allocated to you.
Those who turned down the offer stated they can find an apartment cheaper and still budget to live within their income. Lastly, they wanted to live their lives independently as best they could and as long as their health allowed.
That experience certainly gave us more to reflect on as we age regarding our co-dependent care. Hopefully, our children will be able to help.
Thanks for sharing and wishing you a healthier New Year.
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2 ReactionsMy next step is to find out how much it will cost to have caregivers come to me. There are also some facilities where you can buy your own condo. I get emails from them although I do not know how I got on the list. They are located on Hilton Head, S.C. That is not a place where I want to live.
Happy New Year to you.
My house is not rambling. We bought it 11 years ago and it is in a 55 plus community. So size is not an issue. But it is an issue in assisted living. I have mild claustrophobia. I just could not see me in those small rooms. I have not heard about anything where I live that sounds remotely like where you are now. Pity. My hip is not completely healed yet. My fault. I am not good at doing my exercises. But investigating independent caregivers will be my next thing to do.
Happy New Year to you.
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1 ReactionLoved your note, M!
So many of us ponder the same questions... whether we're younger, the same age as you, or even older, I'm sure.
Thank you for sharing what you're going through. It unites all of us seniors... because we'll all have to consider how to proceed from where we are.
Think you're on the right track... weighing what appear to be the current options, but knowing that of some decisions will need to be made at the time that they're ripe... when circumstances are clearer.
And congrats on your status... you're sharp and clear, and are an excellent communicator!
All the best.
/LarryG
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2 ReactionsThank you. Just reading your post makes me feel a lot better.