waiting for natural speedy death - life ruined by ssri and benzos

i never feel sleepy. There was once i went 5 days without a wink of sleep, other than giddiness, i dont feel sleepy.
my CNS (like skyglider) has been ruined - i constantly have heart palpitations. Sleeping is torturous now as i will be confronted with endless images, music and "visual" hallucinations.

i tried to return to SSRI to induce some sleep but zoloft gave me bad headaches after 2 weeks of consumption. I have run out of solutions and am slowly deteriorating.

For you:🌻 and 💚.

@mojojojo84 I have experienced some of the symptoms that you described as I've had anxiety for most of my life. I have learned some skills that have helped me that I'm happy to share if you like.

I'm concerned about your past suicide attempts and that you are praying for a "speedy natural death". Do you have a counselor or therapist you can call when you feel like this? Are you located in the U.S.? If yes, then there is a suicide crisis line that is available 24/7 that you can call. Here is the website that explains this. Dial 988 on your phone. The call is free and confidential.

-- https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

Will you please come back here and let me know when you get through to someone for help?

I’m so sorry you’re going through all this, mojojo84. Have you tried meditation, acupuncture or Ketamine treatments? These are great tools to have when you want to get away from the damage of traditional medicine. I wish you the best.

@mojojo84 first of all I am so very sorry that you are going through all of this. Second of all I want you to know that you are not alone I hear your pain I see your words of pain I understand. I suffer with several chronic conditions and get up and fight my pain every day day in and day out and still try to function and be there for my family no matter how hard it is. Can it be overwhelming? Absolutely! To the point of what you mentioned suicide and I've been there trust me I have been there and there's probably one reason I have not gone through with my plan and that is because of my daughter. I'm 58 years old my son is married and I have two beautiful granddaughters and my daughter is going to get married in a couple years and hopefully have some babies so have a lot to live for a lot to live for and if I were to take my own life because of my pain and suffering my personal pain and suffering it would be selfish in my opinion because I know they would go through hell. So I came here today after seeing your post just to let you know that you are not alone and we hear you please feel free to reach out to me anytime. But I beg you beg you to become an advocate for yourself and you fight fight like hell to find a doctors and do what you need to do to get yourself some relief exhaust all possible options and I mean all options other than suicide you have to go on and you have to fight you have to dig deep and find that inner strength to keep going. Please forgive me for spelling and grammar errors as I'm using auto text LOL!

@mojojojo84 I totally believe in acupuncture. It has helped me tremendously, and is a whole body and mind solution. Finding a great one can be a challege, but if there is a slightest chance of relief, why not try? If you are just focused with one or two docs for treatment, can you seek another for a second opinion? It appears you have gone through much distress within the past year, so there is hope and trust that someone can relieve you of your pain. Just as there is Madonna for "Jump", there is also a David Lee Roth.

Same here until I got on Prestique

Same here until I tried Prestique

Can I ask how pristiq helped? I'm really struggling and am not against medication. I've been on effexor 75 mg for 11 years (I think I started higher but 75 mg worked for most of that time). I don’t remember any side effects to speak of. This summer I thought I could go down to 37.5 (tapered). I'm back at 75 and not doing well. It's been 6 weeks. I tried to increase by 37.5 (on pharmacist ok). The 4th day I felt great but on the 5th day the shaking, muscle tension, anxiety, strange thoughts started (they seemed to come from my upper back and neck). I don’t have a dr so I'll head back to emerg. I know medication can help and if I can get to feeling better, I won't try to get off. I think I'm just looking for encouragement.