Spouse with cognitive problems and finances
Bill uses a computer everyday, and has nothing but problems with it. He blames his Dell and I'm pretty sure it is the user lol. He has decided to buy another one (second in a year) and going to very suspect sites. If he does get a new one it won't 'work' for him either! Once again he asked me for our address.
He still has enough memory to think he knows what he is doing. I've had to get us out of quite a few scams that he has fallen for (keeps buying hearing aids while having an excellent pair). I don't know how to protect our finances from him - at least not without major battles. So far in the past year he has bought two computers. One I could give our math teacher daughter for her school (non returnable). The other is his Dell. He also has a working Lenovo, which he says is bad - besides having a crack from his throwing it, it does work ok.
He wants to buy every ad he sees on TV - especially supplements that his doctor says are bad for him. I hid the credit card but some sites we use are auto pay and in spite of everything he remembers how to access those.
Any suggestions?
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Watch you finances. It took me a while to understand what was happening. My husband liked to buy anything someone was selling him. I think we were living off of credit cards. I realized what was happening when he was shuffling our papers while trying to get the taxes done. That’s when I took over to organize it for the accountant. He has one credit card (gas) & debit. The other cards our stacked away.
I've done our financial stuff, including taxes, for 37 years (he gladly gave it over to me). I've removed his credit cards and for the moment his computer is 'being fixed'! He has so much trouble using it.
Last night another 911 call as he fell into the bathtub while trying to close the bathroom door (I keep asking him not too - at least he has stopped locking it!). For 1 1/2 hours at least he insisted I try to get him out - no way could I manage it. He finally conceded and let me call 911. They got him out within minutes. During his fall he kicked the safety rail into the toilet, knocking it off it's wax ring. Also in thrashing in tub managed to get a leaky faucet. So now need to find a plumber. Yikes.
His home health occupational therapist is due this morning so maybe she can help with aids or suggestion.
Hello Julie
My name is Trisha, I've been following your posts for a while now. May I ask why Bill was in the hospital.
We showed up at Mayo for his appointment. When they took his vitals at check in his BP was 78/38 and 58 heart rate. They immediately called for help - who ended up calling 911 - who whisked us off to the Mayo Hospital in Phoenix (his appointment was at Scottsdale facility). I got to ride shotgun in the ambulance. Turns out he also had a UTI - blood and protein in his urine. They wanted to get him stabilized. So 4 days in the hospital and then about 3 weeks skilled nursing facility. They put him on Midodrine in order to get his blood pressure up - it might be the cause of his diarrhea. They also stopped his medication to lower his BP.
Last night he fell again - this time into the bathtub and couldn't get out. After 1 1/2 hours he finally allowed me to call 911 - who got him up and out within minutes.
He is currently receiving some home health. His sitting BP this morning was 105/58. That was after taking the Midodrine. If she had taken it again when I would stand up I'm sure that it would have been much lower (it was yesterday when I took it - dropped from 111/68 to 68/38 99 HR. He also lost 20 pounds during the time he was in the hospital and NH. He is terrible at eating - no apatite at all and when he does he only wants sweet things.
Julie — My husband also has dementia and has similar reactions to your husband — trouble swallowing pills, upset at tv, etc. I found it’s best never to disagree with him.
What is his new med?
It is Midodrine - to bring his BP up. They also put him a Seroquel for anger management, etc. Seroquel has been a life saver!
When he is down he will mention living by himself - which he couldn't do. Lately he has been acknowledging he needs Robin and me. Of course that is a day by day thing lol.
My husband’s doctor put him on risperidone, an atypical anti-psychotic, like Seroquel. It has also been a life saver. He is now calmer. The dose is extremely small, though.
What dose Seroquel does your husband take.
My husband Will has vascular Dementia and has angry fits always when he is driving! Swearing at almost every driver calling them dirty names! I’m grateful he keeps windows closed while he’s driving or we might have road rage going on.
He has some crabby days and some happy days. He does like to have something to do every day or he gets bored and falls asleep. We need to visit some friends but he doesn’t appear to be excited about seeing them.
He has his own language that no one, including me, understands. I tell him to enunciate and talk slower but of course he forgets to do that. His favorite hobby is Solitaire on his tablet and he has always been an excellent player, also likes playing Canasta and games with groups. There is a Senior center we have gone to before and I am gong to suggest we take a ride out there and play cards again. He really misses that.
He is on 50mg one time a day (night).
Bill fell last night around midnight - into the bathtub - about 1:30am he allowed me to call 911 - those men were good. Had him on his feet and back to bed within minutes. Today his back is black and blue with red spots and hurting. This morning nothing showed up then by noontime he turned into a rainbow. Now he says he should have let me call for help in the beginning. Due to his anger issues I let him decide he needed help. I knew he was going to be sore but he hadn't hurt himself enough to need a doctor. He said next time he would listen to me. Doubt it. LOL
We just went to an Eye/Ear/Nose & Throat doctor yesterday and Will is being tested Friday for hearing. He used to have a hearing aid and does need one.
Doctor examined his throat and thinks it could be Acid Reflux, and although Will is taking a pill for that, doctor suggested taking one in the morning and at night. We are glad this could be why he has difficulty swallowing.
He’s baking his famous banana bread today and it is one of his favorite hobbies.