Shifting

Hi @alison0, change is hard. I especially get how hard it must be to leave behind the wonderful trees. You made a big decision and a step forward. Good for you.

I wonder if you might like to join one or both of these discussions in the Aging Well group (https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/aging-well/):
- Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/to-move-or-not-to-move-that-is-the-question/
- Lonely and Just want to talk with virtual friends here https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/very-lonely/

How are you doing today? Has the anxiety about your decision calmed somewhat?

Yes please all three. I feel as if I have the wrong decision in going and I have cried all afternoon. Apart from not wanting to leave I feel as if I have chosen the wrong villa so there is no joy in moving

See below. At first I was proud of myself for making the decision. Now my anxiety is sky and I feel I’ve got it wrong

Are there trees where you are moving to? I love my Trees as well, I recognize the importance, especially when moving to a new place. Thinking of you in your transition. Nothing is set in Stone.

You can click in the hyperlinks Colleen so kindly provided and add yourself to the groups, I believe.

🌳 🌲🙏

Few trees. That’s part of the problem

It’s Sunday morning and I woke up feeling terrible with my heart beating loudly and my anxiety 100 %. I am alone and apart from deep breathing there is nothing I can do. I have had some biscuits and a drink which calmed me down a bit and my pills, candesartan for bp, escapalipram and Lorezapam, light dose. I’ve turned the radio on but it’s local body elections! Not very inspiring.
It’s this shifting that is upsetting me. It could take months to sell and them what? Bad case of what if,,!

Good morning @alison0, we’re on opposite sides of the planet. You just got up and my day is winding down.
We are both shifting from day to night and night to day. Our entire lives are filled with shifting patterns and it’s how we accept, adapt and roll with these changes that can help us work through things that bother us.

You caught my attention with your having a “bad case of what ifs”.
‘What IF’ is one of my pet peeves. It allows the imagination to conjure up all sorts of unpleasantness. I’d like to see you turn that around. Your thoughts are, “What if everything goes wrong!! What if I hate this new place? What if I made the wrong decision? What if I can’t sell my house?”

Try saying, What if everything goes right? ☺️
What if I absolutely love my new home? What if I have the opportunity to meet new friends and can socialize? What if I meet a new friend to share my joy, my sadness, my memories and even make new memories? What if I won’t feel so alone anymore?

We have that ability in ourselves to shift to positive thoughts, away from the negative.
I know you’re facing a new challenge in your life with moving to a retirement village. And as a confirmed tree lover, my heart aches for you moving from your beloved home with all the trees. How about taking some really great photos of your trees and had them framed to take with you?

On the positive side, you have the presence of mind to simplify your life right now, to prepare for the future when maybe you won’t have the energy to downsize, making the move difficult. You’ve also realized you may not feel comfortable climbing stairs in the future. There’s a reason you have decided now is the time…

Being able to do this now, when you have the opportunity and ability, instead of waiting until perhaps a time when it would be more challenging, is giving YOU control over your life. That’s a huge plus!

What you might consider doing soon, is to talk with a real estate agent. Get a feel for when and for how much to list your home. Agents often have a good handle on the market and can let you know what to anticipate with your move.

Tour the retirement village/house and speak with someone in charge there for how to handle securing the unit and selling your home at the same time. People do that all the time! I know it can be stressful but if you have the advice of professionals from both ends, it will help you feel a little more confident with your decision.

Do you have any relatives or friends nearby with whom you can talk this over?

It was a beautiful day yesterday and my son came and took photos. He will come back when the wisteria is out.

You’re right about what if? It may be lovely but what if I can’t sell my house? That’s the one that is bugging me, I have bad anxiety and the psychologist warned me it might be bad. Everyone says of course it will sell but the market is not good. But it’s in a good area, why shouldn’t someone want it?
There I’m trying
Thanks
Cushla

I love the suggestion to take pictures of your favorite trees. 🌳🌲

How wonderful that your Son came over and helped you to do this! Excellent to hear that he will come back when the Wisteria are in bloom!

There were so many wonderful thoughts and suggestions in Lori’s post. And I loved reading your salutation, I’m trying! That’s more than half the battle right there I think!

You’re not alone in your worry, in the anxiety, in the what-ifs. I’m making a big change and transition and well! There are a lot of unknowns for me right now, but there is also a lot of potential for wonderful and exciting new change!

I find that walking in Nature, stilling my Mind and meditating, remembering to Breathe, are all helping me in the process of Uncertainty.

Wishing you Well!