Depression and Anxiety at an older age

I am at my last attempt to get some help. I take 100 mg og seldane, and it helps, it keeps me from crying all the time, but inside I just want to quit breathing and simply not exist anymore. I am 79 female, lost my first husband 25 years ago, just recently my sweetheart John died of a massive heartattack. His family will no longer talk to me, don't know why. They said they loved me, but so did my three sons,, but until I left John they would not speak or respond to me in any way. Know I am living with my middle son, and I cnnot drive anymore, and I have trouble doing things by myself. Recently he and I had a disagreement and I really want to quit being alive. I beleive in God, in eternal life, andI think I am ready to just go on. I am tired of fighting, being in pain,unable to function the way I would like to. I'm too much of a coward to purposely hurt myself, so I stay miserable. I simply do not know what to do. I desperately need someone to talk with....JJ

I'm new too. I have depression and anxiety problems, as wrl as serious arthritis in my knees back and bone spur in my shoulder. It's frustrating to know what medicine is the best. Today I'm feeling like I don't have much reason for living, not knowing what to do. I haven't done much. I'm trying to work up to taking a shower.

Hi JJ, I hope you are feeling better today and the responses you’ve received helped! I totally understand feeling like it would be a relief if I wasn’t here. I’ve had those thoughts and feelings myself. Speaking for myself, I try to remember I’m here for a reason. My faith tells me that God has a plan for me I may not understand. I’m also pretty isolated, having had chronic pain for many years. I’ve had a hard time getting out, maintaining friendships and simply being able to take care of myself. I’ve had times when I was shunned by family and it was very painful emotionally. I lost my father and older brother in the past 10 years and some close friends as well. I understand loss and limitations from health issues. Not to mention the challenges we face as we age! Throughout my life I’ve hung onto my faith and I’ve found contentment in the simple things in life. I try not to let my challenges overwhelm me by finding enjoyment in a morning cup of coffee, a short walk or a good movie. I have a dog who offers me unconditional love! I now have a relationship with my mother that I cherish. I’ve found pleasure in a few interest’s like a small garden, made an attempt at drawing and painting! I practice meditation and make smoothies with my favorite fruit. I try to eat good. I take small steps every day to benefit myself in some way. It’s not always easy for sure! I have depression and when I’m feeling down, it’s not easy to get through the day. I try to remember those feelings will pass. I live alone so it’s up to me to stay focused on the positive things in my life! We face many challenges in our world today! I hope you continue to reach out to find support and hope for yourself. I think you’ve made a great step coming here, there are wonderful caring people to offer tools and information to help. Have you talked to a therapist or general practitioner about how you’re feeling? I have both and they can help!

Hi JJ, I hope you are feeling better today and the responses you’ve received helped! I totally understand feeling like it would be a relief if I wasn’t here. I’ve had those thoughts and feelings myself. Speaking for myself, I try to remember I’m here for a reason. My faith tells me that God has a plan for me I may not understand. I’m also pretty isolated, having had chronic pain for many years. I’ve had a hard time getting out, maintaining friendships and simply being able to take care of myself. I’ve had times when I was shunned by family and it was very painful emotionally. I lost my father and older brother in the past 10 years and some close friends as well. I understand loss and limitations from health issues. Not to mention the challenges we face as we age! Throughout my life I’ve hung onto my faith and I’ve found contentment in the simple things in life. I try not to let my challenges overwhelm me by finding enjoyment in a morning cup of coffee, a short walk or a good movie. I have a dog who offers me unconditional love! I now have a relationship with my mother that I cherish. I’ve found pleasure in a few interest’s like a small garden, made an attempt at drawing and painting! I practice meditation and make smoothies with my favorite fruit. I try to eat good. I take small steps every day to benefit myself in some way. It’s not always easy for sure! I have depression and when I’m feeling down, it’s not easy to get through the day. I try to remember those feelings will pass. I live alone so it’s up to me to stay focused on the positive things in my life! We face many challenges in our world today! I hope you continue to reach out to find support and hope for yourself. I think you’ve made a great step coming here, there are wonderful caring people to offer tools and information to help. Have you talked to a therapist or general practitioner about how you’re feeling? I have both and they can help!

Hi anneu4,
Thank you for responding. I seem so desperate to talk to someone who also just need to talk. I am not easily offended so as, or say anthing to me. I guess after living independently for so many years, it's frustrating to have my slfe so rejumented.
I too am a christian who believes God has a purpose for us, and csnnot always understand what it is. My favorite book in bible is Eccalistes, that everything has it's time and purpose. not sure of correct spelling, so there ya go. I have heart challenges, spine challenges that effect my walking, other things. I guess I am experiencing loss and not concentrating on what I can do. I know I limit myself. I just am aunable to motivate myself.
what do you do to motiate yourself? Please keep reaching out.
PEACE &LOVE....JJ

Anne, I just wanted to say your story is very inspiring and I am sure it has helped several people. God does have a plan for us. We just need to be patient and listen. And in the meantime try to remain as positive as one can. So important to think positive and make ourselves get up, move, and create a space for us to thrive.
I also have depression and other problems, but we have to be thankful for what the Lord gives us even if we do not always understand.
God bless you.

Hi JJ,
I’m sorry you’re going through such a difficult time. It can take time to work through grief. I wonder if grief counseling might help you? I went through it when I lost my father and it was very helpful. I have a therapist I see twice a month and that’s very helpful also. It would be someone to talk to who could offer you constructive suggestions about how to handle what’s going on in your life. We all need that throughout our lives! Even with depression, I’ve always been a person who looks at the glass as half full! I’ve always felt things will get better if I do what I can for myself and put one foot in front of the other. Some days that simply means getting out of bed! I have back problems myself and just started treatment. I’ve had some injections that have helped tremendously! I also have fibromyalgia. I’ve done a lot to watch my diet and get a little exercise to help with pain and fatigue. That’s why I asked if you have a primary physician, and if you’ve shared some of the things your experiencing? Mine was able to refer me to a pain doctor as well as my therapist. If you’re having challenges motivating yourself, sometimes it helps to have someone to point you in helpful directions!
Meditation was difficult for me at first. My mind would wonder and I’d forget to breath! But I stuck with it and have found it has many benefits. It calms my mind and body. I use the Calm app but there are many to choose from. Also, finding something you enjoy doing whether it’s reading, drawing, cooking, etc. helps pass the time.
Just remember that we’re all doing the best we can to manage life on life’s terms!
Try to remember you’re in a tough place right now. Be good to yourself and give yourself time. That can be one of the most difficult things to do! Please think about getting the help you need, it could make all the difference! Finding contentment is within your reach! I just feel we all need a hand finding it sometimes! I have faith in you!

of pissed 48 do you mind telling me how old you are? I recently turned 79, always been a female. Widowed, have heart challlenges, spine, creating walking challenges. Just recently moved into my son and family's home. They have fixed a room up for me which I stay in most of the time.
What caught my attention is what you said about working up to take a shower. I used to be very independent, I co habitated with for 15 years. He recently died of a recent heart attack.
I desperately just need someone to talk with. If you are willing please respond... I live in Austin, Texas
PEACE & LOVE ...JJ

Hi JJ, I need someone to talk with, desperately. I have had depression for many, many years, I am 79. I had two episodes of depression when my doctor was trying to switch my meds and I was close to suicide. My doctor is the best and I am okay now. I am taking Welbutrin, Seroquel, and Trintellix.
I was in a relationship for 16 years, he died and I have been alone for 2 years. My daughter lives near by, but that is not the same. I have such a hard time really, really telling my daughter how I feel. My daughter is on a cruise right now she will be back in 10 more days. I have not been outside for 6 days.
I am sorry to go on like this. Thanks for listening