Depression and Anxiety at an older age

@dmho It's hard to be away from loved ones when they are in need of our help. I like @fiesty76's suggestion of teleconferencing with the provider. It must be alarming and unsettling that your father is making comments about despair and death. It's normal to talk about death and to have fleeting suicidal thoughts. However it should always take them seriously.

Has he made these kinds of comments in the past? Has he recently been prescribed medication that has a suicide warning? I might suggest calling for a welfare check if you feel he is in imminent danger. If you feel that he is not in imminent danger then I'd suggest calling his provider directly.

If your father has signed a release of information you should be able to ask them questions about your father's care and medication. If your father has not signed a release then you would still be able to give the provider information. Do you think your father would be open to your calling his provider regarding his comments about death?

Im a veteran.. va has protocals and my dr just wants me to keep on the same SSRI ..which after years doesnt do a thing. Im near 66, and totally done. What if i dont need seratonin.. no one will discuss "new" options.. i feel like im being shined on..and on.

@pjss48 ... sorry to hear you are suffering, some similarities with you; and had depression and anxiety over the years and always bounced back but 4 yrs ago after having C,Diff from too many antibiotics; 4 friends dying and I do not have a lot of friends, and diagnosis of Glaucoma, it was a turning point as you had 3 yrs ago; then 2019 a dr took me off meds i had beeb on 15 or so years and story goes on and on... but like you, I stopped driving as didn't trust myself which further cut me off from the outside world; and husband had triple bypass surgery..... and again like you have other medical problems; it all adds up and up and up especially as we are ageing; also in to-day's world of bad news just about every day, locally, provincially, nationally, overseas and Covid took its toll on us with fear, isolation and worry; and some families losing their loved ones.. 'continued stress' seems to be a way of life for many these days. I too have ibs-D and fecal incontinence and some days its hard to go on.... yes when we have had a comfortable routine in our lives and it changes and not for the better, it can turn our personal world upside down . Maybe I should not comment but, although of course am not a dr., seems you are on a fair amount of medication...at my worst years ago i was on zoloft and clonazepam... after I had a bad experience with a prescribed med, I was afraid to try any others even though offered... and took myself off zoloft 2018 when told it would make my glaucoma worse - no help - but stayed on clonazepam and still take it but really don't feel it, like taking candy, but if try to get off its horrid. I now spend most of my time in my house in my bedroom, with a tv, ipad, books etc., and unfortunately have become use to this life...for me one big mistake was cutting myself off from the few friends and family i have/had even neighbours, so may I gently suggest, if you are able, to try and keep in touch with others in your previous circles .. I regret not doing so but felt so ill... social worker reminded me last week of a famous phrase from a book called The Four Agreements; ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST (and your best will be different from day to day, depending on how you feel, if you are ill, if you feel better etc,) And if you best is making a piece of toast ... that counts. I truly feel for you because I am still living it and soon will be 79 and never thought my life would be like this but as my husband says... take it day by day - and I reply... can I take it minute by minutes. Best of luck to you, hugs, and I hope sooner than later you see some light at the end of the tunnel..... J. 🌷🌷🌷

Hello @cinzis ... I was on zoloft for over 15 years and my gp just kept refilling prescription every 3 months; also on Rivotril/Clonazepam same amount of time , like giving me candy... and I did read 'somewhere' over the years that some doctors, not saying yours is doing this, but some doctors are not taking patients off long term meds because the patient will/might go into withrawal and that means extra support, etc. getting off the drug. I didnt feel any different while taking those meds, but when i came off one at a time i sure felt it..horrible, so if you do go off, please think about having something in place for withdrawal symptoms, lets face it even people who have had coffee for years get withdrawal symptoms when go off, or smoking....just trying to be helpful. I am a little surprises that your dr isnt discussing other meds with you as so many these days....but I have read that new meds can have a stronger impact on those of us over 65.... have you ever asked your dr what is he reason/ Anyway, just trying to help as I have no medical expertise... but hope you can have another chat with your doctor and tell him how you feel? Best of luck, it's a bumpy road isn't it? J.

Yes, indeed, the VA has protocols, as do many providers and insurance companies. But...you DO have a right to appropriate health care, and if you are not getting at the VA you can request community care.

Are you feeling more hopeless, anxious or depressed than in the past? Contact your state or county veterans' assistance group for help. Google [Your state] Veterans' Services (or Affairs)
Do you have anyone who can help navigate the whole VA process?
Sue

WOW! You all seem to be taking so many drugs. It seems mind boggling to me. Next month I will be 88. Have just gone through a most terrible year. My husband of 59 years died. Then shortly thereafter I had to have a complete hip replacement. Then shortly after that I was informed by my son that I was not welcome to attend my granddaughter's wedding. I can tell you I was not in a good place. At one time I even considered suicide. I called the suicide number and after talking with a very nice person that feeling has gone away permanently. I am not out of the woods yet. I still have five more weeks of physical therapy for my hip. But I can drive the car, and while I am definitely not planning any extended driving trips, I can get myself to the grocery store and the library. I only need blood pressure medication. It is tough being on my own but the alternative is even tougher. At my age it is difficult to make any plans because you just never know. But if I have a plan, it is just to keep going on slowly.

I am at my last attempt to get some help. I take 100 mg og seldane, and it helps, it keeps me from crying all the time, but inside I just want to quit breathing and simply not exist anymore. I am 79 female, lost my first husband 25 years ago, just recently my sweetheart John died of a massive heartattack. His family will no longer talk to me, don't know why. They said they loved me, but so did my three sons,, but until I left John they would not speak or respond to me in any way. Know I am living with my middle son, and I cnnot drive anymore, and I have trouble doing things by myself. Recently he and I had a disagreement and I really want to quit being alive. I beleive in God, in eternal life, andI think I am ready to just go on. I am tired of fighting, being in pain,unable to function the way I would like to. I'm too much of a coward to purposely hurt myself, so I stay miserable. I simply do not know what to do. I desperately need someone to talk with....JJ

@jjwest It is never easy when we feel hopeless, and alone, is it? Have you spoken to your prescribing doctor about the way you are feeling? Your son may be aware of your struggles and is waiting for you to talk to him, tell him you need more help. If you are part of a faith community, there may be a group there for you to associate with. Check the Senior Services in your county and get some resources. No one should have to go day-to-day and feel like there is no way out.

Please let me know what you decide to do?
Ginger

@jjwest your faith will sustain you. God does not promise us an easy time in this life, however He has promised to take care of us when we look to Him for help. I have to keep reminding myself to keep my eyes on Jesus instead of running around in a tizzy trying to find answers from others. I have to wait with courage for God to go before me and straighten my path.

I’m almost 73. I live alone. Married and divorced 3 times…I have 2 sons, one of which can’t help himself get out of a box. My daughter died 4 years ago at age 45 from an overdose of fentanyl. She has 3 children. My grandchildren are blessed to have a wonderful father to care for them.
Without my faith in the Lord, I would be a total train wreck.
Praying for you and your family. 🙏🏻🌻

JJ, You were in a really hard place last night. I'm so grateful that you chose to write frankly about how you were feeling and that @gingerw and @SusanEllen66 were there.

Sometimes writing on a forum like this one may not be enough. If you ever feel like you need to talk to someone, you have options:

Call 988

The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in the United States. You will be connected to a trained counselor. who will listen and provide support, and connect you to resources if necessary.

NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Helpline https://www.nami.org/help
The NAMI HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m., ET.
Call 1-800-950-NAMI (6264), text "HelpLine" to 62640 or email at helpline@nami.org

JJ, how are you doing this morning?