1. < Just Want to Talk

How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

lu91 | @lu91 | Jul 23, 2022

Loved the one where the husband walks in the room wearing a gun belt, carrying a rifle and pistol with a bag of bullets hanging from his pants.
"I'm revolting" he says to his wife sitting in the living room reading a magazine.
"I know that" says the wife "but what are the guns for?

REPLY
thisismarilynb | @thisismarilynb | Jul 24, 2022

My joke is not really a joke but an event. I was shopping at Albertson's and my last stop was the deli. I arrived with my shopping cart full and there was a gentleman there with his shopping cart. We started to chit chat while we were waiting for the lone clerk to serve us. He was wearing short pants and I could see that his knee looked awful. He told me it was recently replaced and was still swollen, but he was getting around and could hardly wait to get the other one replaced. He noticed the cane in my cart and asked me about it. I explained that I was recovering from a complete hip replacement. So here's the thing = the same surgeon did us both. We certainly got a good laugh out of it and so did the surgeon when I shared this story with him at my six-month checkup.

REPLY
Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Aug 6, 2022

Why English is
so hard to learn

YOU think English
is easy? Check out
the following.

1. The bandage
was wound around
the wound.
2. The farm was cultivated to produce
produce.
3. The dump was so full that the
workers had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture
shown at the store.
5. He could lead if he would get the
lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his
tasty dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the pres-
ent, he thought it was time to present the
present to his girlfriend.
8. A bass was painted on the head of
the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into
the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object
which he showed me,
11. The insurance was invalid for the
invalid in his hospital bed.
12. There was a row among the
oarsmen about who would row.
13. They were too close to the door
to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when
the does (females) are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell
down into a sewer line,
16. To help with planting, the farmer
taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind
the sail around the mast.
18. Upon seeing the tear in her
painting she shed a tear.
19,1 had to subject the subject to a
series of tests.
20. How can I intimate this to my
most intimate friend?
Heteronyms
These are brilliant. Homonyms
or homographs are words of like
spelling, but with more than one
meaning and sound.
When pronounced differently,
they are known as heteronyms.

REPLY
3 replies
imallears | @imallears | Aug 6, 2022
In reply to @jakedduck1 "Why English is so hard to learn YOU think English is easy? Check out the following...." + (show)
@jakedduck1

Why English is
so hard to learn

YOU think English
is easy? Check out
the following.

1. The bandage
was wound around
the wound.
2. The farm was cultivated to produce
produce.
3. The dump was so full that the
workers had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture
shown at the store.
5. He could lead if he would get the
lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his
tasty dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the pres-
ent, he thought it was time to present the
present to his girlfriend.
8. A bass was painted on the head of
the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into
the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object
which he showed me,
11. The insurance was invalid for the
invalid in his hospital bed.
12. There was a row among the
oarsmen about who would row.
13. They were too close to the door
to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when
the does (females) are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell
down into a sewer line,
16. To help with planting, the farmer
taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind
the sail around the mast.
18. Upon seeing the tear in her
painting she shed a tear.
19,1 had to subject the subject to a
series of tests.
20. How can I intimate this to my
most intimate friend?
Heteronyms
These are brilliant. Homonyms
or homographs are words of like
spelling, but with more than one
meaning and sound.
When pronounced differently,
they are known as heteronyms.

Jump to this post

@jakedduck1

Awesome Leonard! I don't remember if I ever knew they were called heteronyms but I remembered what a homonym was. Hohum, I'll try to fit that into a conversation this weekend lol.

FL Mary

REPLY
Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Aug 6, 2022

@imallears
Are you going out this weekend to devour another cute innocent octopus?
I thought you walked 3 miles a day. What happened?
Jake

REPLY
1 reply
Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Aug 6, 2022
In reply to @jakedduck1 "Why English is so hard to learn YOU think English is easy? Check out the following...." + (show)
@jakedduck1

Why English is
so hard to learn

YOU think English
is easy? Check out
the following.

1. The bandage
was wound around
the wound.
2. The farm was cultivated to produce
produce.
3. The dump was so full that the
workers had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture
shown at the store.
5. He could lead if he would get the
lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his
tasty dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the pres-
ent, he thought it was time to present the
present to his girlfriend.
8. A bass was painted on the head of
the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into
the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object
which he showed me,
11. The insurance was invalid for the
invalid in his hospital bed.
12. There was a row among the
oarsmen about who would row.
13. They were too close to the door
to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when
the does (females) are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell
down into a sewer line,
16. To help with planting, the farmer
taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind
the sail around the mast.
18. Upon seeing the tear in her
painting she shed a tear.
19,1 had to subject the subject to a
series of tests.
20. How can I intimate this to my
most intimate friend?
Heteronyms
These are brilliant. Homonyms
or homographs are words of like
spelling, but with more than one
meaning and sound.
When pronounced differently,
they are known as heteronyms.

Jump to this post

@jakedduck1 Leonard, when I was teaching English as a second language, it was really a struggle for the student to look at the same word, pronounce it differently, and understand what a sentence was truly saying! We developed little tricks to remember things.!
Ginger

REPLY
callalloo | @callalloo | Aug 6, 2022

I heard two elder comedians on NPR. The man is, I think, in his late 80s or early 90s and a retired psychologist.

His gag was that he was telling everyone that today is one of the most important days in his life. People assumed it was a milestone birthday until he added, 'I just paid off my student loans!' [He told it better and a barrump-bump on a kettle drum wouldn't hurt.]

REPLY
imallears | @imallears | Aug 7, 2022
In reply to @jakedduck1 "@imallears Are you going out this weekend to devour another cute innocent octopus? I thought you..." + (show)
@jakedduck1

@imallears
Are you going out this weekend to devour another cute innocent octopus?
I thought you walked 3 miles a day. What happened?
Jake

Jump to this post

@jakedduck1

Hi,
I can’t do 3 miles in Florida summer…gotta wait until the fall….barely get the 2 miles done before my eyelashes start to sweat. We are going to Longboat Key on Friday through Sunday with family. Lots of walking in and out of places but, more important, lots of good places to eat.
I’m sure I will come across an octopus entree. Will take pictures for ya.

FL Mary

REPLY
EllAmster | @ellamster | Aug 7, 2022
In reply to @kudzu "Great! Love the far side. Wish it was still going. My favorite is one from the..." + (show)
@kudzu

Great! Love the far side. Wish it was still going.
My favorite is one from the 1980’s. Shows a newspaper headline “Storm Rips Cemetary-Hundreds Found Dead” Sounds sad until you think for a second.

Jump to this post

There you go!
https://www.thefarside.com/
Still going strong after coming back a few years ago 💖

REPLY
EllAmster | @ellamster | Aug 7, 2022
In reply to @jakedduck1 "Why English is so hard to learn YOU think English is easy? Check out the following...." + (show)
@jakedduck1

Why English is
so hard to learn

YOU think English
is easy? Check out
the following.

1. The bandage
was wound around
the wound.
2. The farm was cultivated to produce
produce.
3. The dump was so full that the
workers had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture
shown at the store.
5. He could lead if he would get the
lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his
tasty dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the pres-
ent, he thought it was time to present the
present to his girlfriend.
8. A bass was painted on the head of
the bass drum.
9. When shot at, the dove dove into
the bushes.
10. I did not object to the object
which he showed me,
11. The insurance was invalid for the
invalid in his hospital bed.
12. There was a row among the
oarsmen about who would row.
13. They were too close to the door
to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when
the does (females) are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell
down into a sewer line,
16. To help with planting, the farmer
taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind
the sail around the mast.
18. Upon seeing the tear in her
painting she shed a tear.
19,1 had to subject the subject to a
series of tests.
20. How can I intimate this to my
most intimate friend?
Heteronyms
These are brilliant. Homonyms
or homographs are words of like
spelling, but with more than one
meaning and sound.
When pronounced differently,
they are known as heteronyms.

Jump to this post

Funny and such a great list!

REPLY
View MoreView Less
Please sign in or register to post a reply.