Incredibly lonely, shutting down: Suffering with Anhedonia

@lacy2 Many of us can nod our collective heads and relate to your experiences. The dates or medication or length of time might be different, but there are a lot of similarities! I know for me, having a place to share, to "get it off my chest or out of my mind" helps. Remember we are all in this life experience together, even if separated by miles. It truly does help to know others can relate!

If you would like to use journaling or writing as a tool, try this discussion thread: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/journaling-the-write-stuff-for-you/. Also, we have the Aging Well group where you will find many different topics being discussed:https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/aging-well/ Come back and tell me what you think of these, please?

I hope you are able to turn to your daughter and express your thoughts. I liked your analogy of the tightrope and the challenges, it sure gave me a visual that I agreed with! Things that works for me are: writing and journaling, finding small things to be grateful for [and writing them down!], noticing the natural world around me, walking outside to refresh my body and mind. Being your own advocate for body and mind health is empowering.
Ginger

Thank you Ginger. I was glad to find this site but to be honest, and at my age of 77, I have a "laundry list" of physical and mental issues intertwined with working, raising two children, etc. and seeking help and offering to share things that have worked or not worked for me... but so many I don't know where to begin. Right now I am at the end of my rope... told my daughter yesterday its been and is like walking on a tightrope over a ravine and every time the wind blows, almost fall off, but steady myself with or without help and then it rains, or attacked by birds, then back standing on the rope and inch forward and there comes a time one wonders should I just jump off
Mental health treatment? which started when given wrong medication when in hospital many years ago... and first visit to psychiatrist and he said ptsd depression at that time - 1985 - over the wrongs meds and cancer treatment; only on meds 6 weeks in those days and back to work; but then saw him again 5 years later and its been on again off again since then. Would have 5 or more years in between but sadly last few years its been hard to shake.
I was on Zoloft and Rivotril, I think in USA called Klonapin.. and family doctors continued to give it to me without question for almost 20 years...and I did see "social workers" during that time. Two years ago diagnosed with Glaucoma so took MYSELF off zoloft and stayed on Rivotril ....for six months. But then Had to go to emerge as so "down" and young psychiatrist took me OFF RIVOTRIL after last 5 piills (after almost 20 yrs) and put me back on Zoloft even though I had been told by Eye Specialist not to take it as raises eye pressure)narrow angle glaucoma.
Long story short (sorry its long) I went into withdrawal from Rivotril which I had been given as a sleeping pill and thought it was; yet after taking Zoloft many years, after being off it six months, when went back on had heart racing through the night and even went to emerge in ambulance! This Zoloft reaction (weird) was daily and I took MYSELF off again and honestly within 3 days the heart pounding stopped as did the daily shakes. I remained and remain on the Rivotril but have to beg for it. Imagine being called a drug seeker at 77 and doctor discharged me from his practice and I dont even drink or smoke etc. etc. Now I have more physcal problems and spouse just had open heart surgery... it is what it is and every one of us has this "beast" to deal with.
So you see, this is why I am hesitant to join the site and comment becauce I coulld write pages......and thats not really fair. Maybe there is a section here for older people who talk too much, like me ..... sorry

Thank you! I will try the 2 threads and let you know.... I do feel "selfish" knowing so many have as many issues and many a lot more to deal with than I.... ..it amazes me also when I see how others cope.... as they say I think my "get up and go" "got up and went"... take care, J.S.

@lacy2
Hi, I have read your posts and I do not think you are talking too much. This is a place for you to express how you are feeling, and it takes the time and the words that it takes. I am sorry to know that you are relegated to the national health in Canada and waited ten months to see a psychiatrist. I have heard similar stories from people in other countries. My Norwegian friend (lives in Arizona) said his brother in Norway had to wait close to a year to get an important procedure done. Another lady here on Connect had some very choice words for the British health system. She was disgusted with it. I really hope the US does not end up like that but I fear it might.

I am sorry to hear that things are so bad for you and that you have a just-in-case "plan", by which you mean (correct me if I misunderstood) a leave-the-planet plan if things get unbearable. I hate to hear that, but I do understand. The pain (of all kinds) that some experience in life can seem completely unbearable and pointless. I have no answer to that for you, I just hope enough strength comes to you to bear through it. You have touched my heart and I hope good and joy come to you eventually. Best, Hank

@lacy2 I can relate with so much of your story, but am single, mid 60's, and no children...so some differences. Have a long list of medications which haven't worked and still struggle with depression, PTSD and anxiety which COVID-19 hasn't helped. Have had a couple of psychiatrists suddenly and unprofessionally drop me as a client...with no back up plan. I encourage you to continue to write here for I have found it helpful. I also journal when I can put thoughts together. Please take care.

@lacy2 I can relate with so much of your story, but am single, mid 60's, and no children...so some differences. Have a long list of medications which haven't worked and still struggle with depression, PTSD and anxiety which COVID-19 hasn't helped. Have had a couple of psychiatrists suddenly and unprofessionally drop me as a client...with no back up plan. I encourage you to continue to write here for I have found it helpful. I also journal when I can put thoughts together. Please take care.

Hi,
Im a 26 year old student from Wales . I have been hearing voices for the past couple of years . They are loud derogatory unpleasant and nasty.
I have also been suffering from unbearable anhedonia . This has intensified in the last couple of days . It is an unbearable burning discomfort in my head and underneath my scalp everytime I do something that would bring me pleasure or comfort for example lying in bed , drinking a cup of tea or having a shower.
I no longer feel hungry and the food turns to ash in my mouth - I don’t want to eat
I also struggle to sleep as the discomfort makes it difficult for me to lie down and relax . Does anyone have any advice on how to relieve this unbearable absence of pleasure

Hi,
Im a 26 year old student from Wales . I have been hearing voices for the past couple of years . They are loud derogatory unpleasant and nasty.
I have also been suffering from unbearable anhedonia . This has intensified in the last couple of days . It is an unbearable burning discomfort in my head and underneath my scalp everytime I do something that would bring me pleasure or comfort for example lying in bed , drinking a cup of tea or having a shower.
I no longer feel hungry and the food turns to ash in my mouth - I don’t want to eat
I also struggle to sleep as the discomfort makes it difficult for me to lie down and relax . Does anyone have any advice on how to relieve this unbearable absence of pleasure