1. < Just Want to Talk

How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

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janet7 | @janet7 | May 14, 2022
In reply to @jakedduck1 "One dark night in Dublin a fire started inside the local chemical plant. In a blink..." + (show)
@jakedduck1

One dark night in Dublin a fire started inside the local chemical plant.
In a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.

When the fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fireman in charge and said, “All our secret formulas are in the vault in the centre of the plant. They must be saved. I will give 50,000 euro to the fire department that brings them out intact.”

But the roaring flames held the fire-fighters off.

Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now 100,000 euro to the fire station who could bring out the company’s secret files.

But still the fire fighters could not get through.

From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby rural township volunteer fire brigade, composed mainly of old men over 65. To everyone’s amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant. Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno.

Outside, the other firemen watched as the old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire and fought it back on all sides.

It was a performance and effort never seen before.

Within a short time, the old timers had extinguished the fire and had saved the secret formulas.

The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to 200,000 euro and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters.

The local TV station caught the thank you on film and asked the chief, “What are you going to do with all that money?”

“Well,” said Paddy, the 70-year-old fire chief, “the first thing we’re gonna do is fix the brakes on that bloody fire truck.”
Jake

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Loved this joke!

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MGMolly | @Erinmfs | May 18, 2022

I need one of these apps too 🙂
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Mentor
Lori, Volunteer Mentor | @loribmt | May 26, 2022
In reply to @Erinmfs "Good Iowa corn joke…" + (show)
@Erinmfs

Good Iowa corn joke…

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😂🤣

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Mentor
Lori, Volunteer Mentor | @loribmt | Jun 3, 2022

My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days.
I dunno, I guess it’s my ‘weekend’ immune system. 😅

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Mentor
Sue, Volunteer Mentor | @sueinmn | Jun 6, 2022

Last evening we returned from a lovely weekend - our first post Covid Polka Fest, one we have been attending and helping with for almost 20 years (except 2020-21.) We were happy but exhausted, and went to sleep early.

About 1 am, I awoke to an insistent "beep, beep... beep, beep..." somewhere below me. Surprised and a little worried because our daughter had replaced all the "detector" batteries throughout the house on May 1st. Headed down to the lower level, where it seemed to be coming from the laundry room. Uh-oh - that's where the leaking water alarms are! Nope, no water leaking. Checked everything critical, thought oh, maybe it's just the backup battery on the computer network - it can wait. Stumbled back to bed and crashed, forgot all about it!

So this morning I heard it again, headed back down to the laundry room and unplugged everything that COULD beep. STILL beeping - sent hubby down to check - he came back and said "I think it's something of Andi's - seems to be coming from her sewing machine." Hmm, not possible - this is a 100 year-old antique Singer that doesn't even connect to electricity.

I went back down to the laundry room and it seemed to be coming from a tall steel shelving unit LOADED with extra supplies and tote boxes of things like toys, vases, craft supplies... So I begin removing the totes and going through them one-by-one, grumbling "this could take all morning."

Suddenly, as I bend to remove another basket, I see a flash of light BEHIND the shelves...and hear "beep, beep" - fortunately, my shelves are on casters, so I could pull them out. There in the wall outlet is a CO/Gas detector that was installed BEFORE the shelves - which have been there for 15 years! It was beeping to tell us it is expired and needs to be replaced. I unplugged the monitor - blessed silence.

Moral of the story - keep track of where you put those darn things!

Task for the day - put everything back where it belongs. Might as well clean and sort while I'm at it,
Sue

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lu91 | @lu91 | Jun 9, 2022

A woman went to her doctor for a bladder problem and he told her he needed a specimen from her. She didn't know what a specimen was and she didn't want to look dumb so she just went home to ask her husband.
"Hey, Sam, the doctor says I have to give him a specimen. Do you know what a specimen is?"
"Heck no. Go ask Mrs O'Reilly next door. She thinks she knows everything."
About 20 minutes later the wife came back all messed up, dress torn and hair all messed up.
"What the heck happened to you?" asked the shocked Sam.
"Well, I asked Mrs. O'Reilly what a specimen is and she told me to go pee in a bottle so I told her to go crap in the lake and the fight was on."

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2 replies
Mentor
Lori, Volunteer Mentor | @loribmt | Jun 12, 2022

I found out I can’t let my dog play in the lake anymore. The ducks keep attacking him!
I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog. 🦆

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imallears | @imallears | Jun 13, 2022

@loribmt

Oh that’s a dad joke for sure you funny lady.

FLMary

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1 reply
Mentor
Lori, Volunteer Mentor | @loribmt | Jun 13, 2022
In reply to @imallears "@loribmt Oh that’s a dad joke for sure you funny lady. FLMary" + (show)
@imallears

@loribmt

Oh that’s a dad joke for sure you funny lady.

FLMary

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I know!! Lol Almost embarrassed to post them.
I have more! 😂

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