~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~

Yes, I do a lot of "coulda', woulda', shoulda' which doesn't help. Once I get connected with a church and have friends outside of here, I think that will help a good bit. I live in a "senior's apartment" but very few are healthy. It's more like an Assisted Living place, or for some even a Nursing Home. The ambulance is here almost everyday, we have about 2 people die every month, and it seems everyone likes to sit around and gripe about their kids. I rarely sit on the porch when it's warm because of that. One day last summer, I did sit out there for a bit listening to how "awful" their kids, grandkids, etc. were. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I said, "you know? a lot of people can't even have kids." Silence. I never used to speak up like that before, but after many years of therapy, as my therapist said, "good Susie is gone and her sassy sister is here now." He's right. Other senior facilities which are actually for healthy or fairly healthy seniors are way more expensive than I can afford. Even though money is tight I think I'd rather volunteer or help at a Vet's. office than work for one of the regular type agencies. I wouldn't want to do a lot of the things some of them require ..... like clean up "messy" bedsheets, give their client showers, etc. To me that is more something an LPN would do, but it's what my neighbor where I used to live does.
Barb

Hi Barb, Good to see you have returned. Its great to hear your doing well and found a Church home. Maybe not perfect but at least a place to enjoy meeting new friends. I too was away from Church for a year or so doing it via livestream. But still kept in touch with my Church family. I'm back attending services now and sure am glad to be back. I don't think we as humans like being isolated so we need some form of human contact. But with precautions still doable. Have a great day and keep in touch. I myself just celibate 4 years post Heart Transplant and doing great.

Hello Barb, @amberpep

I would like to join @colleenyoung, Dana, and others in welcoming you back to Connect. I've thought of you often. It is good to hear from you!

If your “girls” hounded you so much to move, why if you’re not happy? What was their motivation for you to be closer to them? Was it to care for their kids? Then they should pay you for it. Was it to watch over you as you age? Then let them do so and help you out. It’s their time to step up like your son did!

You aren't grumbling. You have every reason to be concerned. Don't worry about how it comes out.

Don’t feel alone. I’m 72. A few tears ago when I retired I went into a deep depression. My grandson lives with my husband and I and I adore him but even that did not keep me from becoming clinically depressed. It was several years before I recovered. Looking back I feel like the change of retiring set me off. Your extreme change of moving because your daughters wanted you to and with it not being financially safe would make most anyone depressed ( in my opinion of course). Hoping you have found activities that help you and all is better with you.
This is my first time using Connect Mayo so if I did something wrong everyone please let me know.

Such wise advice, @crohr. Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. I'm sure @amberpep will appreciate that your first post to the community was to connect with her and her story.

Life changes can be hard to adjust to even when they are expected (like retirement) or planned (like moving to another city). Would you mind sharing what helped you along the road to recovery?

I had many thing that helped me along my road to recovery, a very supportive family, a great group therapy facilitator, an amazing psychiatrist who was part of the group therapy program. He also recommended that I have Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). Now that last part is very personal and hard to share, but in my case the depression was so deep and was resistant to so many different medications. This psychiatrist strongly believed in vitamin supplements as well. He treated the whole person. I still take all of the supplements he recommended. So, in my case, many things contributed to me being lifted out of the depression and several years have passed since the darkness, which I am so thankful for.

If your depression is mild and has specific causes such as financial stress, your needs are of course very different from mine. If I had had financial or family stress along with my depression I don’t know what would have happened. Barb, it seems like you know things that you need to tackle but you mentioned seeing a therapist in the past? Are you now without a therapist due to moving? You have an extraordinary amount of things on your shoulders. If you’re not seeing a therapist now maybe you should look for one? I hope you are finding your way out of the depression. I can truly empathize.