How about a laugh, (hopefully)

@Erinmfs
“I’m feeling a bit nutty today”
Just today?
Jake

I don't think I've seen this joke here:

A guy comes to work Monday morning with two black eyes. A co-worker horrified, asks, "What happened to you?"

"I went to church yesterday. I was in the pew behind an older woman wearing a dress with one of those puffy skirts. When we all got up to sing a hymn along with the choir, I noticed that her skirt was caught in her underwear. I thought she might be embarrassed by her skirt being stuck like that, so I leaned forward and pulled on her skirt. She turned around and slugged me."

"Okay," said the co-worker, "That explains one shiner, but what about the second one?"

The first guy pantomined leaning forward, put his hand out like he was going to shake hands and said, "Well, I thought she must have wanted it like that."

A man walked 15 min to get to the bar. He walked 30 min to get home. The difference was staggering.

My great-grandson loves to visit me (I live in the Ozarks); he began calling me "Grandma in the mountains" when he was about 3. He's in college now and still addresses communications with me that way!! I love it!

@dorisjeanne Aww that is so precious! Treasure that forever <3 I just lost my Grandma recently and those are the kinds of things I hold onto and remember most. Lovely 🙂

I saw this one while shopping :

Due to worker shortage and increased deliveries, FedEx and UPS have decided to join together and now Fed-Up.

I have 9 grandchildren...I gave myself my granddad's name====BIG GUY. Some of their first words (infants) were BIG GUY. To this day they all call me BIG GUY. When I talk to the oldest one (Haynes, age 19), a freshman @ Oklahoma [gooooo Sooners]...he always closes our chats==="I love you, BIG GUY!"

Well, hi there, Big Guy! That's a great nickname. I have 6 great-grands from a different granddaughter than the above one, and they have several grandparents. So they call me Grandma Granny, I guess because I'm their grandmother's mother! One of them has a birthday today; she's 24! She is the eldest. And my mother just passed away in 2017, so they knew their great-great grandmother. She was almost 103.

80,000 blondes are gathered for a “Blondes Are Not Stupid” convention. The leader

says, “We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I

have a volunteer?”

A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

The leader asks her, “What is 15 plus 15?” After 15 or 20 seconds she says, “18!”

Obviously, everyone is a little disappointed. Then, 80,000 blondes start cheering,

“Give her another chance! Give her another chance!” The leader says, “Well, since

we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the

world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her

another chance.”

So he asks, “What is 5 plus 5?” After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, “90?”

The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh. Everyone

is disheartened. The blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave

their hands shouting, “Give her another chance! Give her another chance!”

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than good, eventually

says, “OK! OK! Just one more chance. What is 2 plus 2?” The girl closes her eyes,

and after a whole minute eventually says, “4?”. Throughout the stadium,

pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms,

stomp their feet and scream … Give her another chance! Give her another chance!

This is funny!