How about a laugh, (hopefully)

Posted by Leonard @jakedduck1, Dec 31, 2018

I believe laughter is the best medicine. Laughter has actually been scientifically proven to help people with depression issues.
Let’s give it a try so we can all get happy and feel better. Many Epilepsy forums I’ve been on had joke sections. I was probably the biggest joke of all since I didn’t get a lot of the jokes. They said the jokes couldn’t be above 4th grade level for me to understand them so my jokes may be rather simplistic but let’s give it a try.
Have a lovely day everyone,
Jake

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

imallears | @imallears | Nov 8, 2021

In reply to @jakedduck1 ""I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." --..." + (show)

@jakedduck1
You are on a tootsie roll...love it!

FL Mary

Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Nov 9, 2021

huh?
Before was was was
was was is
Jake

imallears | @imallears | Nov 9, 2021

@jakedduck1

Oh, so that what was was before was was is. Was had has before had was had? Was gone go before gone was gone or did gone go before go left?
Makes perfect sense.

FL Mary

Lori, Volunteer Mentor | @loribmt | Nov 9, 2021

In reply to @imallears "@jakedduck1 Oh, so that what was was before was was is. Was had has before had..." + (show)

Mike drop! 🎤

Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Nov 11, 2021

An old guy was fed up of his wife not answering him when he spoke to her so he decides to try a quick hearing test. He took her into the garden and stood at the end with her back to him. He walk 10 yards back up the garden and then shouts ‘can you hear me’ - no response. He steps a yard closer and shouts ‘can you hear me’, again no response. He continues to do this until he is 1 yard behind and shouts ‘can you hear me’. she turns to him and says ‘for the tenth time yes’.

Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Nov 11, 2021

A woman tries getting on a bus but realizes her skirt is too tight.

As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the driver, she reached behind to unzip her skirt a little, thinking this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.

She tries to take the step, but only to discover that she could not.

With a little smile to the driver, she again reaches behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step.

After becoming quite frustrated and embarrassed, she once again attempted to unzip her skirt more in order to allow more legroom to get on the first step of the bus.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her, picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! ! I don't even know who you are!"

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well ma'am, normally I would agree with you but after you unzipped my fly three times I kinda figured we were friends."

Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Nov 11, 2021

Papa and Mama bear are filing for divorce.

The court is deciding custody and asks baby bear:

“Do you want to live with Mama bear?”

Baby bear, with a tear in his eye, says “No, Mama bear beats me!”

Aghast, the judge asks “Oh, we can’t have that, you will live with Papa bear.”

Baby bear says “Oh, no, Papa bear beats me, too!”

The judge says “Is there anyone else you can live with?”

Baby bear says “I want to live with the Chicago Bears….they don’t beat anybody!”

Leonard | @jakedduck1 | Nov 12, 2021

Two bowling teams, one from the city of Doofberg and one from the city of Brightsdale, hail a double decker bus for a tournament in Atlantic City. The Doofbergians take the upper tier of the bus while the Brightsdalians take the lower tier.

The Brightsdalians are having a lot of fun, talking and joking together, when they suddenly notice that hey don't hear anything from the Doofbegians upstairs. Concerned, one goes up to investigate and is surprised to see the Doofbergians frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, clinging to their chairs' arm rests for dear life.

"Say, what's wrong?" he inquires. "We're all having an excellent time downstairs. " One of the Doofbergians then turns to him and says, "Yeah, but you folks have a driver."

imallears | @imallears | Nov 12, 2021

@jakedduck1

Groan…….I think doofus is German for stupid but don’t know if that is the origin of how we use it today. Remember Hogan’s Heroes? Didn’t the funny German soldier use that term all the time? I rode on a double decker bus many times as a kid when visiting England…..windy up there.

FL Mary