Going back to work after cancer: Is this exhaustion normal?

I saw my FNP yesterday and we discussed all the things… well she did agree to refer me for a PT consult. I have an appt on the 19th. She told me not to lift more than 20 lbs, no twisting or bending. I don’t know how I will be able to work with these restrictions. I am emotional with all the changes happening in my life.

@fieryrn I don't know how you could not be emotional, given all that's going on in your life. Things do get scary, for sure. I hope that you will stay aware of what your body tells you, especially at work. Add to your own medical history being in what is now an even more stressful vocation, pacing yourself and asking for help with the heavy lifting is pretty important. Take care of yourself.

If you haven't already talked with a counselor, this might be a good time to do so. I can vouch for the benefit of talking through things. It's been a huge part of my mental health progress. Being in a caring profession is more stressful than many people imagine, and a danger of caring for others is ignoring one's own wellbeing.

If you're comfortable with sharing what emotions are being stirred up, we are here to listen.

Jim

A new diagnosis, with an unknown final outcome, is very scary. After all you have recently been through, the very thought that you might not be able to return to your chosen career would also be very difficult.

I see that you work in Labor & Delivery - one of the most strenuous nursing positions. You surely need a complete workplace assessment to see if your job meets the restrictions you have. I know it sounds like life is "piling it on" right now, but you may want to start thinking about less physical alternative nursing career choices...

I second @jimhd in his suggestion that it might be time for some help to sort this out. There are a lot of people here who can be a sounding board for you as you work your way through this - just ask!
Sue

I hope you are able to work with others in your unit to do the heavy lifting until you get this all figured out. Have they discussed bone strengthener medications with you? How are you feeling about this?

@jimhd I appreciate your insight. I currently have a therapist and have been participating in teletherapy during covid. I began therapy with her 4 yrs ago after a home invasion sexual assault. So it has been super helpful that I had this outlet already in place when I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
I think my biggest stressor is letting my nursing team down because I can't carry my load anymore. We are short staffed and everyone is going above and beyond during this time. I was out of work about 4 months and feel like they had to work short because of me. I am also feeling that I dont want breast cancer or osteoporosis to take me out of work. I want to do that on my own terms. I dont know really....I am just so tired of being tired.

@fieryrn Boy, do I know about being tired of being tired! I'm glad to know that you have a good therapist. I've seen a string of them for 15 years. Because we live in a rural community, mental health care isn't the greatest, especially for Medicare clients. I've had 13 therapists in 15 years. I've been able to have therapy through the county mental health and through the hospital's behavioral health, and every one of them has moved on to greener pastures after a year. A number of them were doing their internship requirement. The man I'm seeing now is in private practice and accepts Medicare - the only one I know of in central Oregon, and like you and many others, our sessions are on telemed. I've adjusted to the format, which is better than a phone call, but not quite the same as in person.

Are there changes you've been able to make to continue your work? I was in the hospital for 18 days recently, and I could see how hard everyone worked. One nurse had a student with her, learning on live people how to do all of the little things that have to be done. The nurse stood back and only intervened if she had to. She was a good teacher. I thought of her as I thought of you. You might have to be creative in how you move forward. Change is fun for some people (I'm not part of that group). Sometimes it's trial and error in finding the right groove.

I'm sure that the other staff members understand that you have new limitations, and most of them will want to do what they can to help you. I know that it can be hard to accept help, but their concern for you is a gift. It was a lesson I had to learn, so that I wouldn't rob a person of the joy of giving, and to do that I had to learn to be grateful and gracious.

Have you had fruitful conversation with HR or other entities about what your job description will look like? I trust that they will work with you.

Do you sleep well? That's, as you of course know, an important component of our self care. I have sleep apnea and use a BiPap machine. What a difference it has made in my life.

I pray that you will have a peace filled day tomorrow, and will have a week to remember.

Jim

@jimhd While I have anticipated changes were coming since I received my osteoporosis diagnosis about a month ago, I had not actually talked to my Primary Care about what that may look like. Maybe too....a little denial on my part. On thursday was my first conversation about all this. In fact, she said she had never cared for someone with osteoporosis as bad as mine that was still actively working....and as a bedside nurse. So....all this feels horrifically overwhelming and I'm trying to navigate the information and do what I need to do. If that means light duty and my unit can accommodate that, I'd like to try that. I CAN retire but that was not what I had planned to do at this time. So, saying all this, I'm not sure what my work place can/will do. I've not had any real conversation with my manager and not any with HR.
No, I don't sleep well....not for the last 4 yrs. And my hubs has a CPAP which help him greatly but often wakes me in the night. :p
This year has been overwhelming with each month since January bringing its own dreadful news. So to say I'm feeling "piled upon" is an understatement! I am having trouble even with small changes in my lifestyle right now.....I've got to make myself workout! I know I do, but I cannot seem to start....
I have a big trip planned in Jan with my sister and I've got to get as physically ready as I can!! UGH!!!!!

@jimhd While I have anticipated changes were coming since I received my osteoporosis diagnosis about a month ago, I had not actually talked to my Primary Care about what that may look like. Maybe too....a little denial on my part. On thursday was my first conversation about all this. In fact, she said she had never cared for someone with osteoporosis as bad as mine that was still actively working....and as a bedside nurse. So....all this feels horrifically overwhelming and I'm trying to navigate the information and do what I need to do. If that means light duty and my unit can accommodate that, I'd like to try that. I CAN retire but that was not what I had planned to do at this time. So, saying all this, I'm not sure what my work place can/will do. I've not had any real conversation with my manager and not any with HR.
No, I don't sleep well....not for the last 4 yrs. And my hubs has a CPAP which help him greatly but often wakes me in the night. :p
This year has been overwhelming with each month since January bringing its own dreadful news. So to say I'm feeling "piled upon" is an understatement! I am having trouble even with small changes in my lifestyle right now.....I've got to make myself workout! I know I do, but I cannot seem to start....
I have a big trip planned in Jan with my sister and I've got to get as physically ready as I can!! UGH!!!!!

A doctor who was speaking at a myeloma conference I attended said “the very best thing you can do for your bones is walk.” This in the context of very weak bones, vitaminD deficiency and osteoporosis. The act of putting your weight down over and over stimulated your bones natural strengthening process. He said take your bone strengtheners if you need them, make sure you have enough vitamin D, especially if you live in the northwest, and walk, walk, walk.
My husband found that walking was the best medicine for a lot of things. I find that I have a lot less bone pain if I can get out and walk a bit. When I read your comment about getting some exercise, it made me remember how beneficial it is for people who cannot lift, push, or pull anything.
I also find it helps my mental health to just get in the habit. It certainly has helped us in dealing with life threatening illness.
I am thinking about you, please keep me posted.

I do have an elliptical machine at home I can use. Walking is more difficult for me as I cannot walk in my neighborhood. I suppose I could try mall walking… hoping I can begin a weight training routine soon.