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Depressed caregiver
My spouse has metastatic kidney cancer which they don't think will end her life, lots of comorbidities and is disabled. Most recently she has severe sternal pain from a fracture, so is mostly housebound. I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel and am really down. Deek
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Yeah I only had two steps also, but they were scarey. I was talking to my son on email one day, and I just said casually that I was going to call someone to get an estimate on a ramp. it was just a statement. By the end of the day I had many pictures sent to me by him. He had pulled up designs, and said that he would make me a ramp. By the end of the week I had designs sent to me by his engineers, and voila the ramp. His company plans intricate designs for heating, air conditioning and ventilating systems for huge hospitals, and large buildings all over the country. I didn't even know he could build a ramp. I had no idea. So funny. So yesterday a great big truck arrived, with a ramp built for a queen. Me. I was so amused. What a sweet thing from a boy with a single Mom, who went to a local college. After my divorce I had no job, no money, and a high school education. I discovered that I could go to college under the G. I. Bill. So I would cry all the way to my college classes, and rush home to get the kids off of the school bus. They were in elementary school. It was rough. I had a determination that somehow, someway I would get an education, and I became a social worker. I would educate my kids, they all three got a college degrees. So did I. I would do whatever it took to put orange juice, eggs and milk in the fridge, and bread on the table. That was my goal. So here I am an old lady with PMR, GCA, and failing eye site. But I will not give up easy. My husband just came into the room and said he's going outside to move some rocks. He's 85. Hysterically funny. Enjoy the grandkids. I just found you yesterday, so I don't know your back story. Tell me again what your situation is. There are so many messages, that I can't read them all, but I find one that pulls on me. Oh yeah during all of this I met my husband, my life partner.
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2 ReactionsDo you have a wheelchair so your spouse can go to the park, too?
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2 ReactionsI love how this discussion has turned from sadness and despair to one of such hope! Each one of you has contributed so much! I feel such pride in the Mayo Connect community and the wonderful members!
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4 ReactionsYeah. that was a thing that I missed. Then I thought about it later. Glad Becky thought of it. Our small town has a 'closet' where you can borrow things like wheel chairs, hospital beds, walkers, etc. I understand they can be expensive, but someone on this site must know where to locate something like that. Also it depends on the conditionsof your spouse, and if she is capable of using a wheel chair. I'm guessing that she could since you said that she can do her own personal care. enjoy the grands.
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2 ReactionsWOW. She did the dishes! I am so excited for both of you. My hubby is a great dish washer also. A master of all trades. It's sunny today in the Northeast after weeks of dismal rainy days. The light at the end of the tunnel. I love hearing from everyone. Love is a Many Splendid Thing (an old movie and an old song). Oh that reminds me. I watched an amazing, kind of old movie, on Netflix the other day. It's only going to be on until the 22nd. I didn't know that they time limited those movies. But this movie was a gem with the multi-talented Vanessa Redgrave. The name of it is Unfinished Song. I bawled through the whole thing, but it was so delightful, and so poignant. I told all of my friends about it, and everyone called just to thank me for the movie tip. Such a sweet gentle, and at times uproariously funny movie. I can cry at parades however, but this movie could make a rock cry. it was a delight. One of my all time favorites. Even my friends told friends, and everyone loves this movie. I found it by dumb luck. Watch it if you have time.
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1 ReactionWe don't have a wheelchair, but that's an idea. She has a walker with a seat, but hasn't the strength to go farther than 20 or 30 feet. She might go to the park though...
Thanks for the feedback and movie suggestion. It sounds good, but we don't have Netflix.
Yes, all good ideas. Thanks
I am not familiar with PMR and GCA. Thanks for sharing.
My spouse and I have been best friends since age 15 and partners 24 years. She has RA, lymphedema, large kidney stone not removable and metastatic kidney cancer diagnosed last fall after an awful summer of fatigue and feeling crappy, pardon my language. Excruciating sternal pain for 3 months now from mets, but pain is being controlled by palliative care. PT might be strengthening her legs, as she can now usually get out of chairs herself. She lives in her recliner though and hasn't slept in our bed for 12 weeks. Traveling to see friends is hardly an option because they all have stairs and no recliners, so I'm having a hard time with giving that up. Also, I get tired if loading the walker in and out.
Enough whining for now. Have to get something constructive done before the grandkids come!
I am so sorry you are going through this. I am now caregiver for the second person close to me with cancer. The first one died and then I found out about the second one. I hear you about what you are saying. My heart goes out to you. Being a caregiver is something that happens to so many people and it seems like it is really overlooked and not discussed enough and there is very little practical help to be found