1. < Depression & Anxiety

desperate for help

Posted by paparaines @paparaines, May 17, 2021

Hello, I am new to this website and I am not sure where to start, so here is my background. I have been diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety and have had this for many years. The last 3 years have really been the worst. I wake up each day dreading to face the day of anxiety and stress, finding myself often paralyzed to do anything. I stress out over things that are not real or that I just can not face like mowing or going on an errand by myself. I have lost all joy and desire to do things I used to like working outside on our property, doing my hobby of target shooting, etc. I am so sad and often dark all the time. I find my memory is sketchy both long and short term. I feel isolated from family and friends except for my wife and occasionally our son’s family for special events. I really just want to stay inside, on the couch, doing nothing, where it feels safe and I do not have to face my anxiety. I feel lonely, even though my wife is here and is really supportive of me. In fact, I have become very dependent on her for doing everything, which makes me feel bad/ashamed/guilty for not doing my share. I have had problems going to and staying asleep, though in the last 2 weeks that has improved some with low dose Serequel. I had major picnic attacks, which seem to have subsided with the addition of Rexulti. I have a psychiatrist who has been working with me to find the right med balance- it has only had limited success- I was told I may have a medication resistant form of depression I started seeing a psychologist for cognitive therapy ( only about 6 times), but she moved her practice and I have had no success in finding someone- most of them are not taking any more patients- still looking. What I really was hoping for was a med that would just work and turn off this depression and let me live my life. My wife tells me this is not realistic and that it needs to be a multipronged treatment,. Just writing this has been stressful. I came here because she suggested I might connect with others who are or have experienced what I am going through and perhaps I might find more strategies to help me deal with this daily fear and anxiety and depression that has robed me of my life, because right now I fear it will never go away.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Depression & Anxiety Support Group.

help4meandu | @help4meandu | Jul 2, 2021

I completely relate to your situation. Please don’t give up hope. I have suffered from depression most of my life and tried different meds. Have been on Lexapro for years along with klonopin for anxiety and Lunesta for sleep. Still my sleep is problematic but I try to push myself to get up early and take care of my cats. I’m completely alone except for disabled brother in nursing home and couple friends but tend to stay isolated. The pandemic worsened my situation but got vaccinated and rejoined a gym. I do an early class each morning which is helping just being around others. Try to do some type of exercise each day. Be thankful for your loving family. I also do devotionals using app Lectio most days. Keep fighting.
Sending best thoughts.

REPLY
1 reply
Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Jul 5, 2021
In reply to @help4meandu "I completely relate to your situation. Please don’t give up hope. I have suffered from depression..." + (show)
@help4meandu

I completely relate to your situation. Please don’t give up hope. I have suffered from depression most of my life and tried different meds. Have been on Lexapro for years along with klonopin for anxiety and Lunesta for sleep. Still my sleep is problematic but I try to push myself to get up early and take care of my cats. I’m completely alone except for disabled brother in nursing home and couple friends but tend to stay isolated. The pandemic worsened my situation but got vaccinated and rejoined a gym. I do an early class each morning which is helping just being around others. Try to do some type of exercise each day. Be thankful for your loving family. I also do devotionals using app Lectio most days. Keep fighting.
Sending best thoughts.

Jump to this post

Kudos to you @help4meandu for finding the will and motivation to join a gym. Yes, it's a good social outlet, gets you out each morning and you get to enjoy the benefits of exercise. I love making exercise a habit so that I don't even question whether to do it or not. When I get up, I put on my workout clothes and that's have the battle. Once I'm dressed, I figure I might as well exercise or at least go for a walk. Has it become habit for you and you just do it?

REPLY
1 reply
help4meandu | @help4meandu | Jul 5, 2021
In reply to @colleenyoung "Kudos to you @help4meandu for finding the will and motivation to join a gym. Yes, it's..." + (show)
@colleenyoung

Kudos to you @help4meandu for finding the will and motivation to join a gym. Yes, it's a good social outlet, gets you out each morning and you get to enjoy the benefits of exercise. I love making exercise a habit so that I don't even question whether to do it or not. When I get up, I put on my workout clothes and that's have the battle. Once I'm dressed, I figure I might as well exercise or at least go for a walk. Has it become habit for you and you just do it?

Jump to this post

Yes exercise has been part of my morning routine after I stopped working (due to a merger was downsized) and helped with stress of being caregiver to mother, husband and brother. I really missed it during pandemic and tried to use a fitness app but I benefit from the encouragement of group classes.
I divide my time between 2 locations and now back in NY I need to get the momentum to join a local gym here.
Otherwise I roll out the yoga mat and at least try to stretch.
My sleep is a big problem for me and I know how important it is especially when fighting depression. Lifestyle -diet, exercise and sleep all so vital to our wellbeing. Also social connections that unfortunately I have too few of. So much to work on. Then I get overwhelmed so just tackle small incremental goals.

REPLY
1 reply
Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Jul 5, 2021
In reply to @help4meandu "Yes exercise has been part of my morning routine after I stopped working (due to a..." + (show)
@help4meandu

Yes exercise has been part of my morning routine after I stopped working (due to a merger was downsized) and helped with stress of being caregiver to mother, husband and brother. I really missed it during pandemic and tried to use a fitness app but I benefit from the encouragement of group classes.
I divide my time between 2 locations and now back in NY I need to get the momentum to join a local gym here.
Otherwise I roll out the yoga mat and at least try to stretch.
My sleep is a big problem for me and I know how important it is especially when fighting depression. Lifestyle -diet, exercise and sleep all so vital to our wellbeing. Also social connections that unfortunately I have too few of. So much to work on. Then I get overwhelmed so just tackle small incremental goals.

Jump to this post

Small incremental goals are the way to go. One step at a time. You may wish to join the discussion in the Sleep Health group here: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/sleep-health/

REPLY
mseldridge37 | @mseldridge37 | Aug 20, 2021

I’m sorry to hear you’re dealing with this. I am also having these issues. I’m looking for advice or help as well.

REPLY
1 reply
Mentor
Lori, Volunteer Mentor | @loribmt | Aug 21, 2021
In reply to @mseldridge37 "I’m sorry to hear you’re dealing with this. I am also having these issues. I’m looking..." + (show)
@mseldridge37

I’m sorry to hear you’re dealing with this. I am also having these issues. I’m looking for advice or help as well.

Jump to this post

Hello @mseldridge37, First, let me welcome you to Mayo Connect. While we’re backed by Mayo Clinic we are a community forum comprised of members such as yourself who “connect” with each other to help find answers though we cannot diagnose health problems.

I just realized that you posted in 3 conversations yesterday and haven’t had any replies. Reading your bio, my goodness, you’re going through quite a few health issues and looking for some help and guidance.

At 37 you are so young to be facing Congestive heart failure. No wonder you’re feeling depressed and helpless. Any time we get news that jars our confidence in our body, it’s alarming. You posted in a discussion about Ectasia CAE with coronary artery disease. This is a rather rare heart condition. Was this diagnosed as the cause congestive heart failure?

Have you been working with a Cardiologist since your diagnosis to help improve your health? Have they given you any information on diet changes, exercise or anything that can help reverse the condition?

I’ve posted a little link to our Mayo Clinic site that discusses what heart failure is and possible treatments.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/heart-failure/symptoms-causes/syc-20373142
You also mentioned having degenerative disc disease. Again, you are so young!! I’m just really sad you’re having to deal with all of these issues! Have you been diagnosed with osteoporosis, or any arthritis in other parts of your body besides your spine?
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/osteoarthritis/expert-answers/arthritis/faq-20058457
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/degenerative-disc-disease
What can I do to help you?

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