Is yelling and over-talking a part of dementia?
His doctor said he has early onset dementia. Normally he is very pleasant, but about once a month, he answers a my question (not an angry one) with a tirade of "explanation" which is loud and overtalking me, lasting for maybe 10 min. Sometimes I leave, but I can't always if it is late at night. This last time I got angry back, which is scary and not part of my personality. We live far from our children so I have no one nearby. My question is: is yelling and overtalking a part of dementia?
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Such an amazing post, Larry. Thank you.
This bears repeating, and dare I say yelling from the roof top.
"What we do, how we act or react are many times things that we don't have full control over anymore. Please know it is the disease. Deep down – even if we can't express it - our love, caring and feelings are still there – if nowhere but in our hearts."
@larryh123 Hello Larry,
I can only say, "Amen," to what Colleen (@colleenyoung) has already posted. I so appreciate your post from someone living with dementia. As I'm now 73, I find several of my friends, who are younger than myself, dealing with a dementia diagnosis.
You are a great spokesperson for this unique and growing community of intelligent people. Both of my newly diagnosed friends have advanced degrees and have had careers in very well-respected professions. They feel frustrated by their new limitations as well as their future.
I hope that your message can be shared far and wide with this lovely community of people and their caregivers. You've inspired me to communicate even more kindly and cautiously than I have previously.
I thank you for that.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your input.
Larry, I appreciate your “long road” answer. Very helpful to hear “other side” described by someone not ones own spouse 😉 Impressed with the tips. hearing how it feels helps put me it in the other persons perspective. Also first time I’ve heard about Mayo program.
A really wonderful post @larryh123 I’m so glad Colleen asked you to be a mentor! Becky
Becky
A humble thank you
Peace
Larry H
@maryflorida i wonder how you’ve been doing. Have things improved since you started this post?
Not much.
It is very difficult for all parties involved. I (as a patient) am not in control of some of these things. I as well mistake what is being said as confrontational and will either lash out or go to my room. I feel stupid after. Sometimes it will linger with me for days. I cant let it go because I didnt want to hurt my wife’s (my blessing of a caregiver) feelings.
We are starting to notice this more and are working through it best we can. We know it isn’t going to get better.
We do know that we love each other.
I always tell her that it isn’t anything she did or said. It is the disease.
Shaking you up is definitely a normal response to this. It shakes me up as well and I’m not on the receiving end.
Have you worked with your neurologist and / or psych doc on this?
They were able to give us some advice we are pouting into play daily.
They might be able to help you too.
Peace
Larry H.
Being stressed or surprised by unexpected responses to behaviors is a pretty common part of life, and just exacerbated by MCI or dementia. As a caregiver, I just have to stop and breathe. Personal safety does not always transfer into physical safety. It's a continuous balancing job for me.