Ashamed: I think about (and plan for) dying. Do you?

@waterboy- You sound just miserable. How can I help you? I also have COPD but from smoking and I have lung cancer and other things as well. Over the past 23 years since my first lung cancer, I have questioned and questioned life, what it means and how miserable I was. I agree, living that way was not living, it was just life. In your profile info, you said that you had moderate COPD. Are you having a problem with your COPD? Maybe need a stronger inhaler or other meds? Or are you just having a lousy day and wanted to vent?

Merry, I am just being honest. I have severe COPD...almost little cough (sporadic), no phlegm, mainly just shortness of breath with exertion. I have a wonderful pulmonologist, Dr Niven, at MAYO, Rochester. He has me on three nebs... Bravana x2, duoneb x4, Budesinde x2, arythamyacin tab x2, and albuteral as a rescue inhaler. I will be in Rochester 5/27... lung function test and a nitric oxide exhaler test. I just had cataract surgery both eyes. Along with my Alpha 1.

Dear @waterboy The one thing that been a literal life-saver is Primatene Mist. The product is truly a gift from God how well it opens up everything. It is expensive..approx $30.00. Of course, you must be careful, but it's that way with everything.

@waterboy- Good morning. Of course, you are being honest, and this is the place to vent and to be honest! Ah, so it's severe COPD. Well, I'm glad that you have some upcoming tests to see what needs to be changed to help keep you comfortable and maybe live more fully. I hope that you will let me know the test results and any changes that are made on your behalf.

I had cataract surgery years ago. What a difference, eh?

@waterboy You have lost a lot and it's understandable that you grieve that loss.

You'll notice that I moved your question to an existing discussion where members like @olgamarie @miriam57 @sunnygirl @ta52 @marshall8318 @spudmato @happyhippie68 @oldkarl @richcolleen, and you, are already discussing this topic. I did this so you could connect with members in a central location.

May I ask if you are currently seeing a therapist?

Yes when I was told the cancer was terminal I updated will, made funeral arrangements, planned my funeral mass.all in place. When someone said they wanted something in my home started a list who got what. Health directive in hospitals,Drs offices and one in cabinet at home so it’s handy. Outlived my expected time so rest is all a plus.God will take me when he’s ready for me.

@richcolleen- You are one brave lady. What is your activity level? Are you involved with palliative care? (not hospice)

I am not involved with hospice yet. Not on palliative either. Cared for my husband for 5 years who was a quadriplegic because of a fall off later. He never complained once and he could not even move his head. That’s why I am excepting whatever comes along. I try walking at least one mile a day and do 1/2 of my house cleaning. Have a cleaning lady do my bathrooms, kitchen and whipping down cabinets. Some days are good some not so good. Going to Mayo Monday and Tuesday for test to see if it’s spread (which small cells keep showing up) more. Right lung has tumor, kidneys, stomach and left long have cells. Prayers have been working miracles.

Hi there fellow copder. Yep it's a pia but it is what it is.
I have severe copd and if that's not enough, my poor decrepit lungs also have bronchiectasis and pseudomonas (a nasty drug resistant bacteria)
I have lots of sputum and spend an hour every morning and another one every evening doing airway clearance . Don't ask.
You don't want to know!
But with all that I don't desaturate and consequently am not on supp O2. I just helped my housekeeper put the laundry away and am sitting here recovering my breath. O2 96% on room air. Sometimes I wish I could turn it up and breathe better.
( housekeeper? Yes. I started saving for home health care when I was diagnosed with severe copd in 2010. No nursing home for me. Without being able to travel or eat out or spend much money there's plenty in that account. I live alone and no way could clean this place)

I also have had two cancers, the second one caused by extensive radiation for the first one and have terrible digestive issues as a result .

But with all that and a clearly limited quality of life, I do have pleasure in my life. There is so much to watch and to read . And so many interesting people to meet on support groups .

And silly optimist that I am I always hope it will get better. Summer is almost here.

@richcolleen- AM thinking of you. You are certainly an incredible lady. Keep walking. Your attitude is your angel! I hope that you aren't in any pain! xxoo