Ashamed: I think about (and plan for) dying. Do you?

I am not in a position to judge your actions.
It is easy to say what is "right" yet why would I?
My thoughts are:
Talk over your thoughts with someone you trust who has training and background to be of assistance.
Life IS easier for some than others. That is just a fact, neither fair or unfair.
I support to the position of dealing only with what your can have an effect on not what you can't. That is not to say that you shouldn't be concerned about your condition/s, and take the proper steps, but over attention to what you can't control will likely have a total negative impact on you and those around you!, especially those that you love, and love you.
Make the appropriate plans, if you would like, for your funeral, etc, and move on.
I've walked the walk, and feel better for it. It is easier for my family knowing where I stand.
I don't feel sorry for myself, I remain active, and seek to keep and add meaning in my life.
I'm lucky to be here, and appreciate that fact.
I was, as was my family, told that i would pass, and yet it wasn't my time. I still face my challenges as I suggest that you do, with an appreciation for what you have and those that you care about you.
This is all easy to say, but it requires freedom of will on your part.
Give a fair try, and enjoy what is ahead; it's your choice, make it.

@olgamarie Thinking about death is never shameful and it is actually healthy. I understand our culture places a taboo on death but it's an inevitable part of life.

Do your thoughts about death lead you to live a more fulfilling life and live in the hear and now, or are they a pattern of rumination that impedes connection and living a meaningful life?

Regardless of where you are in this broad spectrum, you may wish to look into the readings by Viktor Frankl. He is the father of Existential Therapy.

Viktor Frankl actually spent time in a concentration camp and lost most of his family members there during WWII. From this horrendous experience he learned that the people that accepted their unspeakable position, and the almost certainty of their death, were the individuals that were resilient and more likely to survive. After his escape Viktor Frankl went on to be one of the most inspiring people in psychology and modern philosophy.

If this is something that resonates with you, there are therapists that specialize in existential therapy. Psychology Today does have a nice search function that locates local therapists with any particular specialty. Online options are plentiful as well.

You and I think alike. I'm too young and have way too many things left to do in life so don't plan on going anywhere no matter how dreadful my diagnosis. Now we all have to outrun COVID while fighting cancer at the same time so it's a bit more difficult but I'm not letting it stop me. I mask up, double mask now with new variants spreading, wash my hands, and social distance. I stay out of bars and restaurants, etc but still enjoy life as much as possible, every chance I get.

You keep walking so your ready for that marathon with your wife this Fall. I'm not about to enter any marathons but certainly plan on visiting places I've never been and showing my husband places I have been to when I was a kid that he's never seen. Life is good 😎☮

I think more of the meaning of LIFE, and Living,

@waterboy- Hello, and good morning. Would you like to expand on your thoughts concerning the meaning of life and what living means to you?

@waterboy It's said that death is what brings life meaning. It sounds like you are in a good place.

@waterboy and @erikas There comes a time for most of us to think about death and life. I am 81, with many fatal disorders which could stop me at any moment. I think about death every day, but I am not afraid to die. When it comes, I will deal with it, assuming I can do anything about the next step.

Yes, I can do that. Being a 71 yr old male with severe COPD, Alpha one, ET's, an IPP for ED... and it seems almost every time I see a new Dr. they say "We can't cure it, but we can treat it", it brings out that question. I watched my over 90 yr old neighbor litterly wither away and die. I watched how he tried to do things he couldn't, and finally spent the most of his time sitting in his chair. THAT IS NOT LIVING (he loved working outside, or in the basement making things) that is adding one more day on earth and having life. I think of people on respirators that have almost zero chance of getting better.. that is why I wear a DNR bracelet. I don't want to die, nor would I take my own life, but at the same time, taking pills three four times a day, nebulizers four times a day, and having to wear an oxygen cannula to sleep begins to wear on you. Now I get to have cataract surgery in both eyes and get upper and lower dentures. I guess to put it to rest I would rather have 50 years of living, than 90 years of "LIFE."

I have thought about dying many times in this cancer journey. It’s been almost 4 years for me as well, but my children are all grown and have family’s and they are Christian and so am I so I do not fear my death at all I embrace it knowing that I will be with Jesus and loved one that are with him now! Also I will see my Children and grandchildren as well! 🙏🙏🙏 that you can find comfort and peace.

Feelings being alive with COPD

To me it is being alive, NOT living, really. Living is being able to do things that you want and to be unencumbered to any great extent. I live in a caved in tunnel with no escape, knowing that my oxygen, and life will eventually run out... extended only by a daily routine of modern medicines and great doctors. Yes, I smoked and have Alpha 1,,, why aren't people checked earlier, instead of waiting for the diagnosis too late to change your path to death.