Isolation as diagnosis

I agree with Ginger. That’s a silly diagnosis.

Thank you for your advice. I have come to realize that the previous counselor diagnosed me as isolated based upon my childhood years.

@lsittll
I just read the posts in this discussion. I am glad you are here, interacting with people, a lot of whom have some basic common sense. As far as being diagnosed as "isolated" I can tell you, from my experience of life and people, I choose to be a bit isolated. It can work for some people, like my wife and myself. I lead a happy and fulfilled life for the most part, and being isolated does not detract from that. Do I FEEL isolated? Not really. Interacting on Mayo Connect is a perfectly valid way of having contact with others. I like the fact that you can say as much or as little as you like, if you want to chat, fine, if you want to skip the chat, fine. If you want to enter only when you have something you feel is important to say, fine. Whatever. To me it's an ideal way to be involved with others.

Let me tell you the reality about real life among other people as I experience it. I live in a condo, in a multiple unit dwelling. I have noticed that most of my neighbors prefer to come and go from their homes and NOT run into anyone else. If they exit their until and hear someone on the stairs or wherever, they will go back inside until the person has moved on (that said, they ARE pleasant if they do run into another, i.e. they aren't sociopaths). I think most folks these days prefer NOT to chitchat. I certainly would avoid a senior center to discuss weather or needlepointing or someone's favorite tv show. On the other hand, I'd love to go if I could do something there to be of service to another, if somebody has a genuine need that I can help fulfill. Now that kind of interacting turns me on!

Best to you, Hank

I've known isolation and emotional abuse all my life. Being born with ocd and major depression is like a curse. No contact with my family of origin and married 6 years to a room-mate. No close friends from Church. Priests tell me they don't know how to help me. I do love to walk outside and cook. Can't wait 'till I recover from bunion surgery! I don't blame myself anymore. People just don't want to understand. Does anyone else have problems making a friend and keeping them? I'm also expressing lots of anger these last couple years. Has all the rejection turned me into a bad person who really isn't me? I'm a good person. Maria.

I understand in a remote way what you are going through. My friend had OCD and many in my family had rejected her. She was a good person. I also feel that her church did not help her. I wish I could extend to you the feelings I have for your loneliness and rejection. Have you considered going to another church? My friend who did not receive any consolation from her former church decided to attend a different church and found people who understood her and is now receiving friendship and understanding. Good luck and God Bless.

I've been a Catholic all my life. I don't drive due to anxiety and meds. So I have to go to Church where my husband chooses. Nobody wants to get in the middle of our problems either! I have been talking to retired priests though. They are very wise and special to me. Thanks for caring. Maria.

Hello... I’ve always had trouble finding and keeping friends. I’ve never had a group of friends. Still today I’m 50 years old, and only have one friend. We usually text once a day, but lately we’ve been going a few days between checking in with each other. We live about 45 minutes from each other. So we don’t see each other very often.
I’m on disability and have several serious medical issues (Severe scoliosis, type 1 diabetic, major depression, ADD, sleep issues, restless legs, chronic pain and others) and had to move in with my mom after my husband of 24 years left me. I don’t feel at home with my mom. All my stuff is in a storage unit that I can’t afford. I’m very very sad, lonely and depressed. Always. I no longer find joy in the things I used to like doing, like making beaded jewelry. I’m always wishing I was no longer here. That I’m no longer a burden to anyone. I’m so tired of being alone. This is the first time I’ve ever been alone. My diet is very poor, because I never want to cook for just me.
All I’ve ever wanted was for people to like me... and yet, here I am alone and very, very lonely.

Thank-You to everyone who takes a moment out of their day to read this.

- Trish

@trish70 It sounds like you have numerous health and mental health concerns. My condolences on your marriage ending. That must be extremely difficult.

You feel isolated and alone but you have reached out to peers on Mayo Clinic Connect. You want to be connected and widen your social circle.

May I ask what kind of formal supports you have? I'm wondering if you attend one-on-one and/or group therapy, have an adult mental health case manager, or a social worker that coordinates your medical appointments, etc.?

@trish70
Trish, one additional point for you would be to explore some of the other groups/discussions on the Mayo Connect forum.
There are groups on issues you have mentioned having yourself, such as:

sleep issues: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/sleep-health/
diabetes: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/diabetes-and-endocrine-problems/
spine health: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/spine-health/
chronic pain: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/pain/
and others.

You might find others in some of the discussions there who might be able to share their issues with you and how they are dealing with them. I have found that being a Connect member since January I have made several friends who have become as close as many "real" friends I have made in the past. In fact I have shared more with some people here than I have with most of the people in my own family! Hank

I have had problems making and keeping close friends myself. I do not or cannot drive to get to places where I could easily meet friends. Not everywhere that I could find friends is accessible by public transportation. The friends I do make are "phonies." They put their phones on answering machine only and do not respond to my messages. They all are engrossed in their families only. The nice thing is that they accept me for who I am. From second to ninth grade I was a total outcast to my classmates. I started having seizures at 6. With all the stigma about that and living in a small town made it worse. I was isolated from my peers. That was me then. Now I live in the city and have lots of casual friends I interact on Mayo Connect. I must get out every day, otherwise I get cabin fever that soars very high