Isolation and depression: Scared of the coming winter

Jamsie, I just wanted to let you know there are others out there who share some of your experiences. My cousin married a man who, although a very talented pianist and artist (he made a good living with these talents), was a drug addict and an alcoholic. He was verbally and physically (especially physically) abusive from the day they were married. He did horrible things to her; he beat her, he scrawled horrifying messages on her car; he ranted and raved; he went berserk and tore up the house, and on and on. My cousin was herself a very good pianist and had a piano her mother bought for her when she was six years old at a time when there was very little money in the kitty. The scumbag of a man she was married to took an ax to the piano, and she has never been financially able to replace it. She has a grown daughter, and she and her daughter both suffer from severe PTSD, especially her daughter. Her daughter was very young when her father was still in the picture, and all she remembers is the yelling, her mother crying, and the fear a little girl suffers when she doesn't know what's going on. She is 30 years old now and has a PhD in psychology with emphasis on PTSD suffered by soldiers. She works at the VA in Oklahoma City. She still suffers, as does my cousin, severe PTSD, but both women have persevered and with the love and support of family and mental health providers, have lived full, productive lives. The secret is getting out of the situation; with help from the police, my cousin managed to send her husband to prison for many years; she has received not one penny of support from the deadbeat, but has worked and supported herself and her daughter. She sent her daughter to college through obtaining her PhD, of which she is oh so proud. So, getting out IS possible. I would rather live peacefully in a studio apartment than live with the daily abuse, humiliation and fear. Easy to say, I know, harder to do. I wish you every good thing life has to offer, and I will keep you in my thoughts.

I can;t even compare myself to your dear cousin. Things can always be worse is proven by you. Thank you for giving me such a brave example of what can happen even in the worst circumstance. I will try to focus on an answer to my problem.

Hi there ..... you are not alone in this. I absolutely despise winter. If I had the finances I'd definitely move to a warm state like Florida. I live in VA and everyone here says, "oh it's so beautiful, you live right at the edge of the Blue Ridge Mountains." Yes, all that's true, but when Fall comes in, I feel like I want to crawl in a hole with a big bag of M&M's, a hot pot of tea, a stack of books, and just hide out till Spring.
abby

Thank you so very much for that! Please know you truly gave someone compassionate direction today!

I would love to stay in touch! Emotional abuse in a marriage is very very isolating! I have never told anyone but myntherapist and it is a big reason I am sitting with depression, anxiety and ptsd. I think it would be very helpful to be a support for each other. Thank you so much for reaching out!

Please stay in touch. We can be your outlet someone to chat with to help you get through. This is safe place, no one should have to feel alone. I have been there as a teenager abused by my boyfriend. My brother left for the service when I was 16yrs old. No one to stick up for me anymore. I was afraid to tell my parents (I wasn’t their favorite) Then one day I got the courage to walk away and strange as this must be but when I did that I became stronger and I haven’t let anyone bully me anymore. I am a nice person and I am grateful for all the abuse as I raised my daughter to not be bullied by anyone. So I feel your pain and hope you continue to reach out on Mayo Connect and continue to see your therapist. Hope to hear from you and stay Strong 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻😊Kim

@jamsie I thought I was reading about me when I read your post! I was married for 18 years and my ex was less than sympathetic even after I was hospitalized. In fact he told me " your the sick one"! So eventually I got the courage to divorce him. I still suffer from depression every day on what seems to me a grand scale. Every day I wake up and feel the same...no joy, no motivation, at times lack of sleep, and eat to have something to do or side effects from various psych meds that haven't worked in my case. Along with already self isolation prior to COVID this virus has made all my symptoms worse.
I'm not a fan of Facebook and most of current technology like Zoom, but forced myself to try one or two of these avenue to try and keep in touch with people. It's definitely a challenge and still not a fan but am trying something. I try to write in my journal to get negative thoughts out, but just found out about art journaling (a kind of collage)and bought a few art supplies to try this out. I have no grand expectations, but some time to focus on something better. Glad you posted here. Hope I've been of some help.

@marjou, @jamsie, What a great idea. I just read your information about art journaling. Please tell me more....can you show a picture or two? This is a wonderful solution to the situation we find ourselves in these days. Thank you.

May you be content and at ease.
Chris

@artscaping Hi Chris, I happened to run across this idea on YouTube under art journaling for beginners. They have all sorts of ideas, pictures and list of supplies. It reminded me of my collage days but also uses watercolors, micron pen, gesso, mixed media art pad, etc. I had half of the art supplies and ordered what I was missing. I haven't started yet but look forward to trying this method of journaling. Hope this info is helpful for I didn't know how to transfer link here. Let me know if you try this out. Enjoy!
Judy

Thank you for your kind words Kim. Do you find that some days are just unbearable? That was me today, and when I reach out to my husband he says " I've got nothing" . I read the posts, admire and file the ideas, and hope that tomorrow is a better day. My mind is on tailspin today. I fear the unknown more than anything, and rationally I know that life has always been about unknowns, but COVID is bigger than me today. Hopefully I will be a better friend tomorrow!