Isolation and depression: Scared of the coming winter

Posted by jamsie @jamsie, Aug 22, 2020

I am in my 60’s and have suffered with depression and anxiety for many years. I find myself unable to cope with the loneliness that has come with COVID. Although married, it is one of convenience, and there is no help from my husband in that regard, or for that matter, in most everything. I have also gained about 25 pounds during this time and my self esteem is at a low. I eat and eat and am never full. I quilt and hand sew for hobbies, but have now lost the interaction of those friends due to COVID. I am scared to death of what a Minnesota winter will bring. I need someone to talk to.

Hi there ….. you are not alone in this. I absolutely despise winter. If I had the finances I'd definitely move to a warm state like Florida. I live in VA and everyone here says, "oh it's so beautiful, you live right at the edge of the Blue Ridge Mountains." Yes, all that's true, but when Fall comes in, I feel like I want to crawl in a hole with a big bag of M&M's, a hot pot of tea, a stack of books, and just hide out till Spring.
abby

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@buyearly

I know it's hard and winter is extra confining. I'm 70 and have that depression history. I make myself pick up my hobby and just accept the fact that I won't have a lot of communication with my husband. But my closest and best friend and communication is with Jesus through lots of time in His Word, reading and memorizing Scripture. Also a great way to get my mind off myself and my worries every day is to pick up a journal and pen and write down at least three things I am thankful for. A gratitude journal has been recommended by numerous people including my Psychiatrist!! You'll be glad you did!

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Thank you so very much for that! Please know you truly gave someone compassionate direction today!

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@jamsie

Laurry I don't wish this life on anyone, but it does help to know I am not alone in an emotionally abusive marriage. At our age it seems impossible to make a change, finances being a huge problem in my case. I feel like I try my best to be positive and keep busy, but every day is a struggle and I find myself getting lazier, taking naps, having pity parties I guess. I try to remember how lucky I am to have my beautiful children and grandchildren, and that so very many people have it worse than I do. It is so hard to stay positive when depression rules your life. I hope we can keep in touch here.

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I would love to stay in touch! Emotional abuse in a marriage is very very isolating! I have never told anyone but myntherapist and it is a big reason I am sitting with depression, anxiety and ptsd. I think it would be very helpful to be a support for each other. Thank you so much for reaching out!

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Please stay in touch. We can be your outlet someone to chat with to help you get through. This is safe place, no one should have to feel alone. I have been there as a teenager abused by my boyfriend. My brother left for the service when I was 16yrs old. No one to stick up for me anymore. I was afraid to tell my parents (I wasn’t their favorite) Then one day I got the courage to walk away and strange as this must be but when I did that I became stronger and I haven’t let anyone bully me anymore. I am a nice person and I am grateful for all the abuse as I raised my daughter to not be bullied by anyone. So I feel your pain and hope you continue to reach out on Mayo Connect and continue to see your therapist. Hope to hear from you and stay Strong 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻😊Kim

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@jamsie I thought I was reading about me when I read your post! I was married for 18 years and my ex was less than sympathetic even after I was hospitalized. In fact he told me " your the sick one"! So eventually I got the courage to divorce him. I still suffer from depression every day on what seems to me a grand scale. Every day I wake up and feel the same…no joy, no motivation, at times lack of sleep, and eat to have something to do or side effects from various psych meds that haven't worked in my case. Along with already self isolation prior to COVID this virus has made all my symptoms worse.
I'm not a fan of Facebook and most of current technology like Zoom, but forced myself to try one or two of these avenue to try and keep in touch with people. It's definitely a challenge and still not a fan but am trying something. I try to write in my journal to get negative thoughts out, but just found out about art journaling (a kind of collage)and bought a few art supplies to try this out. I have no grand expectations, but some time to focus on something better. Glad you posted here. Hope I've been of some help.

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@marjou

@jamsie I thought I was reading about me when I read your post! I was married for 18 years and my ex was less than sympathetic even after I was hospitalized. In fact he told me " your the sick one"! So eventually I got the courage to divorce him. I still suffer from depression every day on what seems to me a grand scale. Every day I wake up and feel the same…no joy, no motivation, at times lack of sleep, and eat to have something to do or side effects from various psych meds that haven't worked in my case. Along with already self isolation prior to COVID this virus has made all my symptoms worse.
I'm not a fan of Facebook and most of current technology like Zoom, but forced myself to try one or two of these avenue to try and keep in touch with people. It's definitely a challenge and still not a fan but am trying something. I try to write in my journal to get negative thoughts out, but just found out about art journaling (a kind of collage)and bought a few art supplies to try this out. I have no grand expectations, but some time to focus on something better. Glad you posted here. Hope I've been of some help.

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@marjou, @jamsie, What a great idea. I just read your information about art journaling. Please tell me more….can you show a picture or two? This is a wonderful solution to the situation we find ourselves in these days. Thank you.

May you be content and at ease.
Chris

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@artscaping

@marjou, @jamsie, What a great idea. I just read your information about art journaling. Please tell me more….can you show a picture or two? This is a wonderful solution to the situation we find ourselves in these days. Thank you.

May you be content and at ease.
Chris

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@artscaping Hi Chris, I happened to run across this idea on YouTube under art journaling for beginners. They have all sorts of ideas, pictures and list of supplies. It reminded me of my collage days but also uses watercolors, micron pen, gesso, mixed media art pad, etc. I had half of the art supplies and ordered what I was missing. I haven't started yet but look forward to trying this method of journaling. Hope this info is helpful for I didn't know how to transfer link here. Let me know if you try this out. Enjoy!
Judy

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@kimcvi

Please stay in touch. We can be your outlet someone to chat with to help you get through. This is safe place, no one should have to feel alone. I have been there as a teenager abused by my boyfriend. My brother left for the service when I was 16yrs old. No one to stick up for me anymore. I was afraid to tell my parents (I wasn’t their favorite) Then one day I got the courage to walk away and strange as this must be but when I did that I became stronger and I haven’t let anyone bully me anymore. I am a nice person and I am grateful for all the abuse as I raised my daughter to not be bullied by anyone. So I feel your pain and hope you continue to reach out on Mayo Connect and continue to see your therapist. Hope to hear from you and stay Strong 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻😊Kim

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Thank you for your kind words Kim. Do you find that some days are just unbearable? That was me today, and when I reach out to my husband he says " I've got nothing" . I read the posts, admire and file the ideas, and hope that tomorrow is a better day. My mind is on tailspin today. I fear the unknown more than anything, and rationally I know that life has always been about unknowns, but COVID is bigger than me today. Hopefully I will be a better friend tomorrow!

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@marjou

@jamsie I thought I was reading about me when I read your post! I was married for 18 years and my ex was less than sympathetic even after I was hospitalized. In fact he told me " your the sick one"! So eventually I got the courage to divorce him. I still suffer from depression every day on what seems to me a grand scale. Every day I wake up and feel the same…no joy, no motivation, at times lack of sleep, and eat to have something to do or side effects from various psych meds that haven't worked in my case. Along with already self isolation prior to COVID this virus has made all my symptoms worse.
I'm not a fan of Facebook and most of current technology like Zoom, but forced myself to try one or two of these avenue to try and keep in touch with people. It's definitely a challenge and still not a fan but am trying something. I try to write in my journal to get negative thoughts out, but just found out about art journaling (a kind of collage)and bought a few art supplies to try this out. I have no grand expectations, but some time to focus on something better. Glad you posted here. Hope I've been of some help.

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Marjou, thank you so much for reaching out. I just told Kim that i was having a horrible day today, mind tailspinning, feeling tired and useless. I truly keep all of the suggestions in my journal, and will try them as I can. I asked my husband for help today, and he just says "I've got nothing". I am ashamed of the feelings of pity I display and want to be strong for my children and grandchildren, but I look in the mirror and really don't like what I see. I hope tomorrow will be a more positive day. I apologize for this post.

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@jamsie

Marjou, thank you so much for reaching out. I just told Kim that i was having a horrible day today, mind tailspinning, feeling tired and useless. I truly keep all of the suggestions in my journal, and will try them as I can. I asked my husband for help today, and he just says "I've got nothing". I am ashamed of the feelings of pity I display and want to be strong for my children and grandchildren, but I look in the mirror and really don't like what I see. I hope tomorrow will be a more positive day. I apologize for this post.

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@jamsie I can so relate to what you've written. I wonder if your husband and my ex are related (just a little joke)!
No apologies are needed here. I think part of depression for me is shame for what I feel or don't feel or for not being/feeling "normal". The positive side of COVID is that "normal" people are getting to somewhat experience what we deal with every day. I have found this to be a safe place to express oneself. So please keep posting for that is a good thing you are doing for yourself.

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@marjou

@jamsie I can so relate to what you've written. I wonder if your husband and my ex are related (just a little joke)!
No apologies are needed here. I think part of depression for me is shame for what I feel or don't feel or for not being/feeling "normal". The positive side of COVID is that "normal" people are getting to somewhat experience what we deal with every day. I have found this to be a safe place to express oneself. So please keep posting for that is a good thing you are doing for yourself.

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Sending a hug your way.

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@jamsie

Thank you for your kind words Kim. Do you find that some days are just unbearable? That was me today, and when I reach out to my husband he says " I've got nothing" . I read the posts, admire and file the ideas, and hope that tomorrow is a better day. My mind is on tailspin today. I fear the unknown more than anything, and rationally I know that life has always been about unknowns, but COVID is bigger than me today. Hopefully I will be a better friend tomorrow!

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I do find some days worse then others. I also have a rare muscle disease that makes it hard to move. I have to keep moving or it hurts to get up, then I have to start all over again to make then move. If I do too much then I can’t move. So I am struggling with this along with OCD, Germaphobic, panic attacks and anxiety. I am not lying when I say I know what your going through (I know you didn’t say that but sometimes people say it and they really don’t have any idea what the person is going through). I have learned that Life is short and I need to be able to function. I say things to myself to keep me going like… Kim your ok, Kim you can do this, Kim don’t be a wimp there are people worse then me. So these and others sayings I say when days are tough. I hope you can find your strength whether it be sayings, writing, or doing it just for you💕. I don’t know if any of this makes sense but hope you at least know you are not alone and that you are Strong 💪🏻💪🏻. Hang in there we are here for you.

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