What is Self-acceptance?

@merpreb Yes, growing up can be hard. I had a loving Christian family, but my mom was sick with mental illness. I cried a lot when my boyfriend I loved would break up with me. Many times. But he did up marrying me only to get killed in a car accident only 11 days after we were married. Also, a good friend of 18 was killed with him. Now that it has been 50 years they are still in my heart, but don't run my life. I am positive and try to live my live the best I can and I love myself. Accepting that bad things happen and sometimes it makes you stronger. You have to let them go and Let God take over. We have no connection with his family and they have an 8 year old daughter that was born on my birthday. If she's at her grandma's in Chicago she can skype with us. My son lives in NYC and is bipolar 1. Hi's a professor but cannot teach because of it. His wife is a very successful professor Too. I pray for him to come home and go ahead and live my life.

To me, the gifts come, first because God gave them to me/us -usually without my awareness. I sorta of discover they are present when I reflect at how I did something that got me through the "crisis" - something "beyond me" that unfolds. I may have read that something might work ( like how to handle stress" info etc.) But in those "Truck Coming FAST-Just Hit Me" moments, yes reading an practicing what I learned helps alot - but putting it together right in a crisis, or in looking at lifelong patterns all lie in core parental exampe and teaching, and that "walk with God" (as you understand God) sets the tone. The gumption i have in large measure is that I know from God that I am no junk and with God, everything is possible, however hard it is. And so, even with TBI, watch out world- I make differences happen -for/in myself, and for/with other people.

Merry, I think you are spot-on. Thanks,

I was asked about TBI - Traumatic Brain Injury... Here are some things I suggest for anyone dealing with it in their lives - a sure issue in Self Acceptance
Here are some TBI -Specific recommendations I can make to others who are asking. It is also a tool for my current lining up of resources and ideas I need to pursue for myself after a recent new TBI event in my life:

1. Have someone to go to who will listen, knows what TBI is, and has mental health counseling skills (don’t assume – check them out.

2. Shop around. NOT every hospital that says they work with TBI does it the same way Some are clinical/medical, “getting the facts” through testing (this is good to do even with them. But the difference with who you want to go to is what comes next.

3. Look for institutions known for their work with TBI – and people who will or can:
a. have a history of working with people as people, not just patients- and are known to be willing to involve other services that are “TBI sensitive” that they may not have themselves;
b. quickly respond to the physical exam - who check for physical brain anomalies (e.g.blood floating around, brain chemistry issues);
c. identify and help with behaviors distinguishable in TBI (not just in psychological testing but also motor movement, thought processes, speech, I. Q. changes, and physical capacity strengthening or support ;
d. teach on site TBI-specific home/workspace reorganization e.g. to manage/maintain go beyond the mess (refreshers are needed from time to time)
e. get you community help - when they cannot do it themselves e.g. home cleaning, personal hygiene, away-from-home transportation, etc.
f. offer time management training – and occasional followup reviews/refreshers;
g. provide nutrition ed/ensure that a healthy diet is actually self-happening– or is provided by a food service. (A lot of people think that telling you what to do – means it is on you to do it. With TBI, these folks know that is not what happens without repeated intervention+ retraining to”GLUE it into your routine)
h. provide in-home full-body-bathing/just washing the back & hard to reach places
i. do toe nail clipping
j. give in-home/office occasional checks for moles/anomalies in hard-impossible places to see/reach. (Docs just don’t do these things any more – and yet this prevents cancer and more)

You see all the challenges to self-acceptance. What are your challenges and how have you (perhaps) met them?

Teresa, I believe your words are very wise. Thank you.

@merpreb , Exhausting as all of it is to try to cope with things now, I am not getting the good sleep that I need to have mental energy to cope well. I have Crohn's Disease, and it has gotten worse over the past few weeks because of the stress, and that just makes things harder to deal with. I don't want to whine, because many people are going through similar alterations in their health, and a lot of people don't want to go to the doctor these days, me included. I will get by fine, as I am still in relatively good mental health and physical well-being, despite the changes. I just have to do the little things to try to keep myself in order, like everyone else. 🙂

@guener- Connect is the place where we welcome whining. You should feel safe here to vent! I agree that these last few weeks have seemed a bit tenser and I think that rings true for most everyone. All the turmoil that we are experiencing in our country has not helped at all. We are all dealing with so much at once that it's really hard to prioritize what we need to take care of first. It's very confusing. Please do take care of those little things to help yourself balance your life. It's a good idea for everyone.

Hi @zep,
Would you be comfortable sharing your thoughts on self-acceptance and/or changing thought patterns about yourself?

Teresa, I agree with what you said about seeds of change being planted and growth happening gradually over time, sometimes imperceptibly. My experience with becoming more self-accepting has been largely a two steps forward, one step back kind of pattern. It takes as much time as it takes, and there are no shortcuts.

Here's a hopeful thought, though, for those on that path - it seems the older you get, the easier it gets in a way, because one becomes too tired to do anything but self-accept! Patience with the way you are comes along with all the other stuff you have to accept because there is no choice. As Popeye said, "I yam what I yam, and that's all that I yam!" And as Willie Nelson sings, "There's nothing I can do about it now..."

If I can accept my goofy husband the way he is (and I do) well then, I can certainly cut myself some slack, too. Humor is mandatory.

carleeuits You got it all right. God is there and so is the spirit. The spirit guides me and my faith in Jesus. I can now accept myself for who I am and live with myself, even the wrong I do, I know I will be forgiven, which helps me to have self-acceptance.