Major Health Anxiety: GI issues

@sarah60 I am so sorry you suffer from a Depressive Disorder. PTSD and GAD, yes panic attacks are the pits. I know I use to have them too. I'm more stable now. But we have mental illness in our family and my mom took her life at age 69 and I'm 67. My poor son got her disease and is Bipolar 1. We have no contact with him or the family. I feel his wife is controlling him. Haven't seen my 8 year old granddaughter since she was 3. Do skype with her, but only at her other grandmother's and she lives in Chicago and they live in NYC. She does send me pictures of her too. All I can do is pray that my son would come home. What caused your PTSD? Forgot to tell you many of my family also has mental disease.

@sarah60 - Hi! I am another one who has waded through life with various health problems. I’m not going to talk about your anxiety- you have gotten very good advice. I’ll just focus on your symptoms and test findings.

The bright red blood is very scary. However, it usually means the source of bleeding is very close to anus, like hemorrhoids you have had. An anal fissure is also very common. You have IBS- many have periods of constipation and this causes straining etc causing a crack in the lining of anus.

I think it is very good that nothing was found in the intestines on CT.
You already have an appointment at Stanford to evaluate the pancreatic cyst and the liver hemangioma I suppose. If something is precancerous- they will deal with it! Hemangioma are not that uncommon , but they have to nail down more information.

Regarding lower back and groin pain- could be muscular. Have you had bone density testing yet?
Good luck in Stanford! Hope we hear from you after the visit.

@sarah60 Stanford is a great place to go. My husband got his Masters and my son got his graduate degree. I worked in the children's hospital on the one that had cancer of young kids. I didn't have any kids then, but I don't think I could work there now. We are back in Iowa our home state, Although we lived on the west coast for 20 year. Mostly in the Seattle area, but 5 years in San Diego. I miss Seattle. I hope they find out what is really wrong with you. No wonder you have anxiety.
Take care of yourself. Have you seen a doctor or psychiatrist for your anxiety? You could use some medicine. My thoughts will be with you.

Thank you kindly @lilypaws

I was born and raised in the Bay Area. Stanford is a great place for specialties like the pancreatic cyst that I have. Also, UCSF is great too.

thank you @astaingegerdm Also I have a colonoscopy scheduled for this Friday (I’m still part of the sutter system) to evaluate the blood and pelvic/lower back pain. I also have a an appt with a gyno specialist at Stanford next week to evaluate a non specific anomaliy found on the ct scan. Sorry I forgot to put that in my first post. It’s too much for me to handle mentally! I had such over the top anxiety this morning when I found blood again I had to take 2 .25 of Xanax.

@lilypaws my PTSD was from rape and almost being murdered in a violent situation when I was a teenager - 2 separate incidences.

@sarah60 Im sorry what a horrible experience for a teen ager . Did you get any counseling then . Help so much to talk to someone else . Hope your doing o.k. now

The anxiety can be debilitating. I found out in 4/19 that I had an obstructing tumor in my sigmoid colon. Prior to that I was an extremely fit and healthy 52 year old who ran 5 miles per day and did barre class daily. We started our family late so I have two young kids (10 and 12 at time of diagnosis). I am a stay at home
Parent and super involved. My surgery was anticipated to be mainly exploratory while also removing the obstruction. I met with the first surgeon and he wanted to remove my entire colon (I’ve had ulcerative colitis for over 25 years). I got a second opinion and then a third. Finally was accepted at MD Anderson and had my surgery which Was a 6 hour ordeal. The tumor had made my colon attach to my right ovary and tube and appendix and cecum. All removed and two resections done. I was supposed to be in for a week, but shortly after surgery developed complications (blood transfusion reaction, anastomatic leak requiring second surgery) abscesses and a blood clot. I finally went home (one year ago yesterday) and assumed I was on my wait to healing. I started chemo and barely finished two rounds. It wrecked my digestive system and then I developed a bowel obstruction due to adhesions. After a week of an NG tube and lots of testing, I needed a third surgery to get rid of adhesions. I developed multiple abscesses and was in the hospital for another three weeks. The obstruction happened while my husband was out of town and I was transported by ambulance during the day while my kids were at school. My kids were alone until my husband flew home that evening late. That put me over the top. The obstruction came in suddenly with no warning. And every worst case scenario happened to me. I developed horrible PTSD and literally sat in the hospital and cried. I didn’t want my kids to see me and thought I would never get back to normal. But I did somewhat. I did develop a fistula which they wouldn’t operate on because it had only been a month since obstruction surgery. I was in the road to recovery and then on November 6, I woke up in the middle of the night with horrific stomach pain. I was transported again and they discovered my bowel had perforated so I was whisked into surgery. I was starting to recover but then about 6 days in, my drainage tubes stopped producing. It was over a weekend so not much contact from doctor. Long story short, I turned septic and things went from bad to worse. I had to be intubated and placed on a ventilator. My body was failing and my husband brought the kids up to see me as requested by the doctors. By the Grace of God, I pulled through and after five long weeks I was released. I wasn’t allowed to eat anything by mouth for two months. I survived that and learned to walk and am now doing some running and walking five miles a day. BUT, a few months ago I started having constipation issues and also a bulge in my belly button. That turned out to be a hernia. I was scheduled for a colonoscopy on April 1 but it cancelled due to covid. I’m having one this Friday finally but have been having bright red blood and really can’t get anything out poop wise. I’m scared to death it’s another tumor. I told my husband I just don’t know if I have the mental strength to do it a fifth time. It’s so incredibly hard. The mental anxiety can get you down. I started taking my Xanax again and pray a lot. Prayer got me through my darkest moments.
Feel free to message me if I can be of support. I tell you my story only to show what is possible. I wouldn’t consider myself a strong person and definitely not a warrior

@lisag03 Good grief you have been through it. I am so sorry. It has to be hard and I feel sad for you. How do you keep from not being depressed? I have never heard of anyone having that many surgeries. I will pray for you that you will get better and be healthy again. I hope you have help at home to take care of you. It's just to much to think about for me. I'm having a simple fusion on my spine, just on my back. They usually do the front to,but after all the test I went through the surgeon said he just needed to go through the back. What I'm having is nothing what you have been through. Bless your heart. Jeanie

I honestly went through a dark period in August when I had the obstruction. For some reason, that hospital stay was very traumatic for me, probably compounded by how awful I felt from the chemo. I remember wanting to lay in my hospital room with the lights off and just sleep, but my husband wouldn’t let me. When I came home, I felt defeated and very fragile. I think all of my feelings were tied to a feeling of being unable to be sure that my kids were physically and emotionally safe. They went to school thinking I was fine and then I was in the hospital and Daddy was in another state trying to,
get home. I rely on my strong faith to carry me. God really blessed me and I know that if I was meant to die, that would have been my time And I’m so blessed with a huge network of friends who stepped in. My husband is a rock (he’s also a firefighter) and I relied on him so much. I left all of the medical stuff to him, and he fought for me. I really did have a LOT go wrong (allergic reactions to multiple medicines, abscesses, etc) and he was always there to step in and make sure I didn’t fall through the cracks.
Spinal surgery is brutal. I’m glad you are able to have access through the back. Surgery is scary no matter what. I pray that yours will be a success and get you back to fully functioning