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Mentor

Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question

Posted by Rosemary, Volunteer Mentor @rosemarya, Apr 12, 2020

At some point as we age, we will have to make a decision about leaving our homes and downsizing. Maybe in our own town or to another town. Maybe to smaller home, condo, apartment, or assisted living/senior community.

When the time comes to downsize, seniors can struggle with a multitude of emotional, physical, and financial challenges.

How do you make an informed decision about when to downsize?
What tips do you have to share?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

davej | @davej | Oct 12, 2020
In reply to @artscaping "Good morning @sueinmn, So you are the lady with "strong determination"? Yes ma'am. We have a..." + (show)
@artscaping

Good morning @sueinmn, So you are the lady with "strong determination"? Yes ma'am. We have a member of our sangha who has the strongest determination we have seen. I'm not that good.

I also remember my realtor wanted to call in estate liquidators and I just told my friends Chris and GiGi to get going.....let's give it all away. I don't want to see something selling for $50 that I paid $500 for. I would rather give it to someone who pays more than $500 in attention and appreciation of the piece.

You got me though......when you mentioned elevator. I was given a gift by the benefactors for the community center. It was for all of my marketing efforts for six or seven years and "get ready"....................you saw it here.........it was an elevator. I had 16 steps and then I had none. Guess who joyfully went to the garage to get anything or reset the sprinklers when the water became less available as summer wore on? I did. And now guess what I miss the most.....yep....my elevator. However, the brother and sister who bought the house were delighted that their 92-year-old mother would be able to live in the mountains because of my elevator. I even left them an amazing built-in video wall and a flat-screen TV so that their Mom would have entertainment on demand. That made my heart sing too.

What do we leave behind when the time comes.....only our legacy. And I wanted mine to be about loving-kindness and compassion. Still working on it.

May you have the happiest of days.
Chris

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Thank you so much for your story. I'm trying to get my parents to give away things that people would enjoy and then my parents can witness first hand how much enjoyment is being had.

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Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Oct 12, 2020
In reply to @davej "Is your husband reluctant because it's a big job or to many memories? My recommendation is..." + (show)
@davej

Is your husband reluctant because it's a big job or to many memories? My recommendation is just have him start small, 1 shelf or bookcase or go thru a corner in the garage. Keep reminding him if he doesn't do it someone else will that might not know the value or what something is used for. Work on it with him like a team and give him a reward for his work and see how that goes good luck dave

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@davej He rehomed many things before we moved. In his defense, many of the things he is reluctant to part with, right now, is because he doesn't know if he will have a need for them up here. A lot of mechanic stuff. Tools. What-have-you. We are in a fairly rural area now, and his line of thinking is that it is better to have it than drive 50 miles to go get it. But, do you need 3 sets of most tools? Both Standard and metric?
Ginger

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1 reply
davej | @davej | Oct 12, 2020

Yes you do need more than 1 set standard metric and then a backup

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Mentor
Sue, Volunteer Mentor | @sueinmn | Oct 13, 2020
In reply to @artscaping "Good morning @sueinmn, So you are the lady with "strong determination"? Yes ma'am. We have a..." + (show)
@artscaping

Good morning @sueinmn, So you are the lady with "strong determination"? Yes ma'am. We have a member of our sangha who has the strongest determination we have seen. I'm not that good.

I also remember my realtor wanted to call in estate liquidators and I just told my friends Chris and GiGi to get going.....let's give it all away. I don't want to see something selling for $50 that I paid $500 for. I would rather give it to someone who pays more than $500 in attention and appreciation of the piece.

You got me though......when you mentioned elevator. I was given a gift by the benefactors for the community center. It was for all of my marketing efforts for six or seven years and "get ready"....................you saw it here.........it was an elevator. I had 16 steps and then I had none. Guess who joyfully went to the garage to get anything or reset the sprinklers when the water became less available as summer wore on? I did. And now guess what I miss the most.....yep....my elevator. However, the brother and sister who bought the house were delighted that their 92-year-old mother would be able to live in the mountains because of my elevator. I even left them an amazing built-in video wall and a flat-screen TV so that their Mom would have entertainment on demand. That made my heart sing too.

What do we leave behind when the time comes.....only our legacy. And I wanted mine to be about loving-kindness and compassion. Still working on it.

May you have the happiest of days.
Chris

Jump to this post

Chris - Your posts make my heart sing!
Thank you. As I worked through a difficult "advisory board" meeting last night, I kept saying to myself - "It's not about me, it's about our whole group & the community we serve." It kept me quiet & let the group work its way around to what I think is the best decision for this tough time.
Have a wonderful day.
Sue

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jude07 | @jude07 | Oct 13, 2020

Thank you for starting this interactive conversation.
I am single and have been urged by a family member to make a move near one of my two children who are both on the East coast and I live in the Midwest. I have been downsizing my household contents during this past year. I know that my friends won’t be here forever, however some of my apprehension is that I would have to start all over again building new friendships, never easy.
I love my large yard however it will be too much for me in about five years or so. Also, my home is split level and I have no problem navigating it now, and I try to stay in the here and now but, at the same time, there is a realism that this may not always be the case. Reading others thoughts is helpful, thanks.

REPLY
1 reply
lioness | @lioness | Oct 13, 2020
In reply to @jude07 "Thank you for starting this interactive conversation. I am single and have been urged by a..." + (show)
@jude07

Thank you for starting this interactive conversation.
I am single and have been urged by a family member to make a move near one of my two children who are both on the East coast and I live in the Midwest. I have been downsizing my household contents during this past year. I know that my friends won’t be here forever, however some of my apprehension is that I would have to start all over again building new friendships, never easy.
I love my large yard however it will be too much for me in about five years or so. Also, my home is split level and I have no problem navigating it now, and I try to stay in the here and now but, at the same time, there is a realism that this may not always be the case. Reading others thoughts is helpful, thanks.

Jump to this post

@jude07 It is a tough decision When my husband died I kept my house as long as I could we had his families old house so 10 rooms we used all 10 but after he died and I got tired of cutting 3acres it was all to much so I threw out 4 loads of garbage in dumbstet from garbage man tagged for sale ,give always,donation and sale. Moved into a mobile home this was in Pa. Now I'm in CA where my son and his family are Yes I was apprehensive but surprised how easy it was to make friends hardest was finding bank@medical so it was a good move for me since Im78 now with physical problems .It's good to be near family now. Hope this helped

REPLY
1 reply
jude07 | @jude07 | Oct 13, 2020
In reply to @lioness "@jude07 It is a tough decision When my husband died I kept my house as long..." + (show)
@lioness

@jude07 It is a tough decision When my husband died I kept my house as long as I could we had his families old house so 10 rooms we used all 10 but after he died and I got tired of cutting 3acres it was all to much so I threw out 4 loads of garbage in dumbstet from garbage man tagged for sale ,give always,donation and sale. Moved into a mobile home this was in Pa. Now I'm in CA where my son and his family are Yes I was apprehensive but surprised how easy it was to make friends hardest was finding bank@medical so it was a good move for me since Im78 now with physical problems .It's good to be near family now. Hope this helped

Jump to this post

Thanks “Lioness” that was quite a move. I admire you! I have the Mayo at my back door so that tugs at me to stay here as well. Big decisions, regardless.

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lioness | @lioness | Oct 13, 2020

@jude07 Yes that is a big decision . How far would you be moving to there is Mayo in 3 areas Fla. Minn. Az .

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jude07 | @jude07 | Oct 13, 2020

Yes, Arizona and Florida would not be reachable.
Too far.

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ann59 | @ann59 | Oct 13, 2020

This is an appropriate topic for my husband and me. We live on a 400 acre farm in a rather large two story house. Funny, when we built the house 50 years ago, we made sure to have doors for a wheelchair to pass, arranged things so that we could live on one floor etc. Now with MCI in the picture, it seems those ideas are not enough. Currently he leases the farm out; its a good arrangement, but he still does a lot of the labor-mending barns, seeding, management etc. Our children are not interested in continuing the operation-and I wouldn't encourage them to do so. Farming is not a good livelihood at present. Obviously a change is in our future. It's another layer on top of everything else. We are making plans to change. We have been downsizing-cleaning out buildings and household items that we no longer need. I only hope that he can execute when the time comes. My other concern is will he be able to adjust to a new living environment? Lots to think about and attend to. I would be interested in how others have addressed this situation and how the adjustment was.

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